Repost from Newlyweds - PO'd at DH!!!

Long story short - DH recently got back in touch with an old acquaintance who had moved to Massachusetts three years ago. They were on very bad terms when the guy moved away and I have no idea why DH got back in touch with him. THis was about two months before wedding so DH invited him to wedding. Without going in to all the details - I despise him - he is rude, crass, uneducated, a showoff, trashy - list goes on. Everyone else I know who has encountered him feels the same as I do.
So anyway, there was a group camping trip planned with some of DH's friends this past weekdend and a week ago I specifically asked DH if this kid was coming because I wouldn't have gone if he did. I think you know where this story goes...
DH tells me no and when we are in the car on Friday afrernoon driving upstate, he tells me that the kid is going and didn't tell me because he (DH) really wanted me to come. We had a HUGE fight and I was really pissed off all weekend. I can sort of understand why he did it - he wanted me to come camping - but I am really upset right now and feel that he broke this whole trust issue - I also told him that being on the sh*t list this week (his bday is Thursday) is not smart timing on his part.
I am venting - but also looking for some advice, opinions on what you think about what he did - how 'bad' is this??

I totally understand why you are upset, and I think I would have been upset at first too.
BUT it sounds like your Dh was not thinking in terms of a trust issue. He just really wanted you to come camping. He knew that you wouldnt have gone if you knew that guy was going to be there. Dh probably felt that it was more important for you to come and he was hoping that once you got to the campground you would have had a good time regardless of who else was there...
He probably also thought that if he told you ahead of time, you wouldnt have gone which would have caused the conflict of him going camping without you.
I would just let him know that in the future he needs to be clearer about the plans.
Hope that is helpful

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

What she said.

I would have been pissed too. I don't think he was trying to break your trust, but I can see how you may feel like he was sneaky. I know he wanted you to go camping, but it wasn't very considerate for him to put you in what was obviously an uncomfortable situation. Your comfort level should have been the most important thing and he should have said 'yes, this kid is coming, but I really want you there and I know we'll have a good time.'
I wouldn't continue being mad about it, because there's nothing that can be done about it now. Just make your feelings clear to him in order to make sure you don't deal with this again. I'm sure he feels bad that you're mad at him, and you don't want to be upset with him on his b-day. Good luck!

i agree with ali i think it wasnt him thinking he was violating any trust issues he just wanted his wife with him when he went camping. i think that is sweet that he would risk upsetting because he wanted you there so badly. i think you should be a little upset because he did lie but he did it for the right reason and i think that you should forgive him and just tell him in the future you want to know the truth when you ask a question. he can tell you the truth and maybe do something exta sweet lol to coax you to go.


i have lots of friends that anthony doesnt like lol but he does know that for some strange reason i see something in them that he doesnt and because he wants to exprience things with me he will deal with them lol rolling his eyes all the way. you can use it as leverage when he doesnt want to go somewhere with you that is what anthony does lol.