Re: Returning gifts after broken engagement

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Posted by Cpt2007

I'm very sorry you are going through this.

I would return everything, even writing new checks to those who gave you money. At worst, they cash them, but you may be surprised that some might just not cash them, in effect, letting you keep the money.

GL!

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Agreed.

Re: Returning gifts after broken engagement

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Posted by HotAir

I would never expect someone to return a gift that I gave to them if they broke off an engagement. I would assume that the money was already spent. You can ask people if they want things back but I doubt anyone would want anything back. Most people realize there is enough going on.

So sorry to hear this. Take care of yourself!

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i agree....I would never expect a gift to be sent back....the break up is hard enough on people...now having to send gifts back...no way...

Re: Returning gifts after broken engagement

i would return the gifts. Someone i know had this happen to them and they had sent a check back with a nice note about how they appreciated the gift and thank you for the wishes, etc.. i think it was a nice thing to do.

Re: Returning gifts after broken engagement

First off, so sorry you have to go through this and I hope you are doing ok.

I believe traditionally you should not spend the engagement money until after the wedding for the fact of if the wedding is called off you are suppose to return it.

I think you should return the money, however, I doubt anyone would care if you didn't. Everyone knows this is a difficult time and should be understanding.

Re: Returning gifts after broken engagement

So sorry to hear you are going through this.. Personally, during a difficult time like this, I would never expect or want the gift back. Even if it was money.....Stay strong.....

Re: Returning gifts after broken engagement

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Posted by MJDoc12

A friend of mine sent out a joint letter with her ex-FI to those who send gifts--and let them know that all gifts would be returned to them --- and they could pick up gifts at her parents house or his parents house....or if necessary they could mail them. basically making it like 'if you want the gifts--let us know....we'll make arrangements' that way it put the ball in their court .

i think some people asked for the gifts back--but most did not care and just let it go.

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i think this sounds like a good idea.

I hope you are holding up OK

Re: Returning gifts after broken engagement

I'm so sorry and hope you are doing ok. I wouldnt expect a gift to be returned. People dont return wedding gifts after a divorce. Its a gift and thats just that. However, i think the letter idea is a nice one just to give people an option. I really dont think most people would come back for their gifts they gave. It wasnt given to you under any certain terms. JMO Good luck with everything.

Re: Returning gifts after broken engagement

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Posted by bluegreen08

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Posted by MJDoc12

A friend of mine sent out a joint letter with her ex-FI to those who send gifts--and let them know that all gifts would be returned to them --- and they could pick up gifts at her parents house or his parents house....or if necessary they could mail them. basically making it like 'if you want the gifts--let us know....we'll make arrangements' that way it put the ball in their court .

i think some people asked for the gifts back--but most did not care and just let it go.

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i think this sounds like a good idea.

I hope you are holding up OK

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My friends called of their wedding a couple years ago and also sent out a letter to everyone. I think thats the best way to do it. Had you sent out save the dates? My friends had so they had to worry about returning gifts and letting people know to cancel their hotel rooms if they were already booked.

Anyway, Im so sorry you are going through this- but Im sure you both came to the decision thats best for you. So I wish you the best of luck in the future!

Re: Returning gifts after broken engagement

I don't think you need to return anything. People understand this is a tough time and returning their gifts shouldn't be a cause of stress for you.

I'm sorry to hear about this and I'm sure whatever the situation is it will work out for the best for you.

Re: Returning gifts after broken engagement

So sorry to hear this.
I broke off an engagement before and I deposited the checks and then sent the money back with a little note.

Re: Returning gifts after broken engagement

Thank you ladies for your advice and kind words.

Re: Returning gifts after broken engagement

I'm sorry to hear about this, but as pp have stated, I would return everything given to you as a gift. I know someone that went through this and they already had their engagement party and bridal shower and everything was returned back to their guests. IMO it's the best thing to do.

Now I also went to a wedding where the couple got divorced after 9 weeks of marriage and there was rumors that they were going to give back the wedding gifts, but it was never done. As a guest, I wouldn't care either way, but if it was me, I would feel funny keeping a gift intended for my marriage that never occurred.

Good Luck with everything!

Re: Returning gifts after broken engagement

I am so sorry you're going through this. I say, worry about taking care of yourself first. In a few weeks or months, then think about it. I think it was a good suggestion to offer to return the physical gifts. I hardly think anyone would be so tactless at a time like this to expect their gifts to be returned promptly. Give yourself some time, then ask yourself what feels right.

ps. He wasn't good enough for you! If it didn't work out, there was a reason, and there's something better meant for you out there.