RP from BHB: Parental Requests

Okay so I already vented about this to a fellow LIW Bride but I thought posting about it might make me feel better too.

I'm hanging out with FH in the basement working on our scrapbook and my father calls me upstairs to ask me a question about one of their bills. As I'm doing what my father asked me to help him out with my mother turns around and says 'after you're married either you or your sister (she's getting married 6 months before me) are going to have to come here and do this once a month.' Which translates into figuring out their bills.

NO she wasn't joking.

So my (not so nice) reply was 'when I come here it's to visit you, not to do your bills'

Granted this may seem a little harsh and I normally don't answer her like this but tonight's comment/command was just the icing on 5 tiered cake of demands. She's ALWAYS been this way. ALWAYS will be. Normally I just try to appease her figuring that she won't hold me to it when it comes down to it. But I just felt that this last demmand crossed the line.

I know it hurt her but I just can't take it anymore! Maybe she'll finally start to get it now. FH and I will have enough on our plates trying to figure out how to get along on our own for the first time (we both currently live at home still) why should me OR my sister have to worry about things like my parents bills?!?!?

Since we both got engaged she just hasn't been happy and is already going through a 'pre-empty nest' syndrome which just makes her mean. It's not going to be easy for her especially because she is so dependent on the two of us but there's nothing I can do about it!

Well, I know this was long but I just needed to let it out. Thanks for reading!




p.s. - I forgot to mention her retaliation was to give me the bill for my dress which she had promised to pay for since before I even met FH and state that she is not paying for it anymore.

This doesn't bother me too much though cause more than likely she'll eventually get over it and end up paying for it in the end anyway. But even if she doesn't, when I told FH he said 'don't get upset. It's not a set back. I'll do whatever I have to for you to have that dress' I love him.

I replied on the BHB board, but I'm sending more hugs your way...

Parents definitely suck sometimes. don't let it get to you... it's definitely a reaction to you and your sister leaving at pretty much the same time.
Your FH sounds like a really stand-up guy though to say what he said about paying for your dress. He's a keeper!!!

well we already talked about this - but its just not the same without the emote-icons!

for you!

your mom will definitely get over it and pay for your dress, your dad wont let her get away with that - and if she DOES do that then make sure EVERYONE knows that she did it so she is embarassed ( lol sorry its mean but i dont care)

i think that if you AND mary stand your ground - that she will ease up on the ridiculous requests from you guys - you guys already do about FORTY times more then I do, OR any of my other friends do! she will realize that once you are gone. . . but for now i am sure it will blow over and dont worry you will be out of there before you know it!

i am always here to talk!

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Posted by ant n tilde

well we already talked about this - but its just not the same without the emote-icons!

for you!

your mom will definitely get over it and pay for your dress, your dad wont let her get away with that - and if she DOES do that then make sure EVERYONE knows that she did it so she is embarassed ( lol sorry its mean but i dont care)

i think that if you AND mary stand your ground - that she will ease up on the ridiculous requests from you guys - you guys already do about FORTY times more then I do, OR any of my other friends do! she will realize that once you are gone. . . but for now i am sure it will blow over and dont worry you will be out of there before you know it!

i am always here to talk!

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Thanks!

selfish

our parents help us all throughout our lives, a little demand seems as so much nowadays to do for them.

hmm i dont think its selfish at all


there is a big difference between helping out your parents AND being told what to do . . . as adults i do not feel that our parents should be able to DEMAND anything ( as no adult can DEMAND something of another adult) asking nicely is one thing, but assuming or demanding help. . .that, to me, is unacceptable

of course, there are many different situations - for example if my parents were PHYSICALLY unable to do something, i would be more than willing to help ( i.e. shoveling snow, raking leaves) or perhaps in their later years if they need help with something and they are getting a little forgetful - absolutely, no questions asked they SHOULD be helped

BUT if they are of 'sound mind and able body' there is no reason that a parent should place ANY demands on their children - I think that parents should WANT their children to have seperate and complete lives

I know for a fact that Lori (the original poster) and her sister do a ridiculous amount of work both inside and outside their home for their parents. . . she is definitely the furthest thing from selfish that i have ever encountered! that is why her post is so upsetting, regardless of the amount of work she does - she does not seem to be appreciated! ( sorry if i got too personal lori, but people need to know that!)

Thanks Matilde. It's not too personal and I appreciate it very much!

WOW! It is so obvious that u are not selfish when it comes to your parents (Thanks Matilde for the little insight into the situation )

Honestly, you are going to have your own bills and other stuff to worry about when you guys move out. FH and I also both still live with our parents, and I am so worried about how we are going to be organized enough to do all that on our own. You should not have to worry about things like that for your parents when you are going to have to worry about it for yourself.
I hope things work out and I'm sure your mom will give in and pay for the dress. If she always promised that, I can't imagine her backing out and going through the rest of her life knowing that she wasn't the one who paid for it.

Hope this helped

I found people complain about everything whenever their parents ask them to do something for them. Could be a simple little request such as can you explain this me? something you shouldn't refuse your parents especially if they pay for education. SO i think a little request such as sorting out this bill for me should not be such a burden.
I was not aware of all the other request that she impose on you, so i thought that complaining about it was selfish.
Also, there's a difference if your parents can do it themselves and they are just being annoying, compared to helping them because you know it's a little bit difficult for them.

No matter what you know your mother will get you the dress.

uh.