rsvp drama

fall2005bride Posted: Jan 19, 2005 10:45 AM

rsvp drama

What are you suppose to do when people send in their response cards with more then the number of people that were invited?

My FH 3 cousins were invited with guests, so the number written in should of been a 2, but they all came back with either 3 or 4 written in.

Any suggestions on a nice way to tell them that they can't bring all these people with them?

Has this happened to any other Brides?

thanks
Jess

Laura1976 Posted: Jan 19, 2005 10:48 AM

Re: rsvp drama

do they have kids that they think they are bringing?

Is your DH or FMIL close with them? maybe they can bring it up to them.

jpavig Posted: Jan 19, 2005 10:50 AM

Re: rsvp drama

That's a very tough call. I would have FH call them and tell them, unless you're really close to them I'm guessing they are trying to bring their kids??? But don't let them get away with it, it's so tacky to just assume you can bring more people.

fall2005bride Posted: Jan 19, 2005 10:51 AM

Re: rsvp drama

Is your DH or FMIL close with them? maybe they can bring it up to them

They were pretty much invited out of respect, but no one even planned on them coming.
2 out of the 3 have children, but plain as day on the invitation, it says 'Adult reception to Follow'

AAAHHH, I don't understand how people just think they can bring whomever they feel.

littlebookworm4 Posted: Jan 19, 2005 10:53 AM

Re: rsvp drama

Posted by fall2005bride

What are you suppose to do when people send in their response cards with more then the number of people that were invited?

My FH 3 cousins were invited with guests, so the number written in should of been a 2, but they all came back with either 3 or 4 written in.

Any suggestions on a nice way to tell them that they can't bring all these people with them?

Has this happened to any other Brides?

thanks
Jess

I have some family members that would attempt that also and I'm DREADING it!!

FrescaBride Posted: Jan 19, 2005 10:54 AM

Re: rsvp drama

I find this so inconsiderate of people.
I'd have your FH called them and let them know that you'd love to have all the people they marked on the response card but you are unable to accomodate that many people. You can tell them it has to do with the capacity that the reception hall holds or any other reason that you can validate for them.

LuckyMe Posted: Jan 19, 2005 11:01 AM

Re: rsvp drama

wow that's nerve!! I would just tell them your confused the invite for say John and guest but you put in 3 for a response I only count two and laugh to ease the situation Im sure they will get the idea.

EireBride-to-Be Posted: Jan 19, 2005 11:16 AM

Re: rsvp drama

I'm dreading that myself...especially because there are some kids that I must invite, but I have an enormous family so I can't invite them all. It's going to be interesting...

leighdvm Posted: Jan 19, 2005 11:18 AM

Re: rsvp drama

If this happens to me, I'm simply going to say 'I'm on a budget and have a limited number of people we can invite'

WeDidIt! Posted: Jan 19, 2005 11:41 AM

Re: rsvp drama

Happened to me. I had MIL call them and tell them only 2 were invited. We can not accomodate 3. So who are the two going to be...period! Sounds harsh. But I just think that adding names is such a rude and bold thing to do.

I'll just say this. Sometimes you bend over backwards to accomodate people or we feel bad...the truth is some of the people you bend over backwards to accomodate: 1) really do not care about you or your FI, 2) probably won't hear from them after the wedding and 3) really are looking to come to the wedding not to support you and your FI, but because they want to go to a 'party.' Just some things for you to think about. Also, word spreads. If you bend your 'rules' for one, someone else may hear and expect the same.

Bunnymonkey Posted: Jan 19, 2005 11:44 AM

Re: rsvp drama

whatever you do, don't let them get away with it. They were rude - you can certainly call them and explain.

Make up an excuse if you must: 'We have already exceeded our max!'

'The hall won't allow children' (I used this one)

or

Tell them you can look into hiriing a baby sitter at a nearby hotel (their expense.)

Be helpful, but don't let them get away with it. Its the rudest thing ever and people like that should be smacked. Hard.

Bebalina Posted: Jan 19, 2005 11:49 AM

Re: rsvp drama

Posted by antoinette72

wow that's nerve!! I would just tell them your confused the invite for say John and guest but you put in 3 for a response I only count two and laugh to ease the situation Im sure they will get the idea.

this sounds like a good idea

hmpena Posted: Jan 19, 2005 04:34 PM

Re: rsvp drama

I agree that you or your FH should contact these people and explain that you cannot accomodate all of them. This is your wedding and you were clear about who was invited. While it is sticky, you should not feel embarrassed. You are paying for it. Good luck!

akaMrsT Posted: Jan 19, 2005 05:20 PM

Re: rsvp drama

Have FI or someone give them a call. I agree that you should not let them get away with being so rude.

If they get upset, then tell them that they can all stay home.

KandM2006 Posted: Jan 19, 2005 05:29 PM

Re: rsvp drama

I fear I'm going to have the same problem - I dont know if I should include No children Please....it looks soooo tacky! You did a nice job with Adult Reception to follow. (even though people aren't apparantly getting the hint) I think this is a Great job to delegate to parents...