RSVP Help...Long

I have a problem. Our guest list is out of hand. It was supposed to be 60, now it's almost 85, however about 25 are from out of town. And, I still want to invite a few more people, who I have to eliminate if those 25 do show up. Initially I was going to send the invites out on April 15th w/ a May 20th RSVP, for my June 22nd wedding. Now I'm considering sending the invites to the the out-of-towners on April 10th, so they can RSVP sooner. My family is not totally into etiquette, but my question is what do think about me calling those from out of town (whom I already suspect are not coming) around May 1st and asking them if they think they can make it. I mean I guess I really just want to be honest and say if you can't come I would like to invite some other people. Of course I wouldn't say it so bluntly and rudely, I would let them know that they are my priority of who I want there, but if they can't be there, someone else can. This will give me time to send invites to those on the B list. Poor planning on my part, but it's only a 6 month engagement.

RSVP Help...Long

I would ask either your Mom or FMIL to help you by casually asking their family (perhaps a sister or close relative) if they think they will be attending the wedding. You might also want to send them hotel information so if they want to attend they can begin to make arrangements. You can also help cut the list by asking your single friends (who know people attending the wedding) not to bring guests and taking some long-lost relatives off the list. If your parents have asked you to invite people that were not really on your list explain to them that this is making you leave off your own friends. My parents are paying for any friends that they want invited. Perhaps your parents can be given the same offer. I am not a huge fan of the B list invite. I would not call the out-of-towners. Send them the invite asap, with a three week RSVP date. Then send out the B list once you know your count.

Have the reply cards been printed yet?

If not, you may want to change the date on them earlier, so you have time to invite others. Best of luck!

Cards have been printed :( *NM*