RSVP regrets

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Posted by twein28

at least you are sending something. I hardly got any gifts from my No's and one was a very good friend.

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I hardly got any gifts from my Shower NO's and I am sure I'm not getting anything from my wedding NO's.

You guys are funny and I feel sane now. I too found it hard to stop focusing on who didn't come or what they didn't get me and I felt bad about it. My family and some friends are super conservative with their money. The ladies at the registries act like people will give me expensive gifts and to register for high end stuff. Let me tell you, I wish I didn't put on low end stuff like Pyrex bowls for $22 because that's what I got. People that I know make good money spent around $32 and they are family-first cousins. My own BM bought me some inexpensive glasses and she lives in a gated community in Northport-her and her husband are lawyers. Don't worry. She would never be on here. Noone got me anything not practical like a nice vase I would never buy myself so it was a let down and felt like a slap in the face as I can be generous.

I don't get it. And, even though I've been laid off for a year I still managed to buy my BM's and Jrs an embroidered bag with their names on it and necklaces for them to wear on the day of. I think that's a good present.

I feel lousy complaining but probably can only vent on this forum like this or I'll sound like an ungrateful biatch!

we had a LOT of surprise nos....and never got a good reason either. i think the kicker was dh's own UNCLE and GODMOTHER...who have more money than god.....he didn't want to come to NY bc he didn't want to catch the swine flu.



Our wedding was perfect anyways....you will have a wonderful day. I know it stinks though

I dunno, My reaction to 'no' would be the opposite..Once i get a bunch of 'no' responses, my perspective is 'good, that means less $$ i have to shell out for these people.'

As long as you can meet the RH minimum, I wouldnt stress. Theres more important things in life than stressing over who can or can not make your wedding.

I am feeling exactly the same way you are. I have the same problem. I'm like the last of all my friends to get married. So they all have husbands, and more responsibilities and kids. I have one friend, I was a BM in her wedding in 2006. She is my best friend from college. She lives in Virginia. In VA, the BM's throw you your engagement party....weirdness. Anyway, I spent over $500 on her eparty. Then I had to drive/fly down for 4 showers (and that wasn't all...I think there were like 9). In VA anyone can show you a shower. So you have lots of little ones, not one big one. Then I flew to North Carolina and went to Nags Head for her bach party. Then of course I had to fly down for the wedding. And all of this was in a years time. So now its my turn. My eparty is this summer and she said she probably cant make it, cause now she has a kid. Then shes not sure about how much she can come down next year. She might only make it for the wedding and nothing else. It just bothers me. Its not fair. Just bc I'm one of the last to do it, doesn't mean they get to ignore it. I just wish everyone would make an effort. And shes not the only one. I have somewhere here on LI who will probably miss most of it bc she has a kid. I understand you have a kid. But the kid does have grandparents who could watch him for a night or a weekend.

Sorry, vent over.

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Posted by JTG4EVER

I am feeling exactly the same way you are. I have the same problem. I'm like the last of all my friends to get married. So they all have husbands, and more responsibilities and kids. I have one friend, I was a BM in her wedding in 2006. I spent over $500 on her eparty. Then I had to drive/fly down for 4 showers (and that wasn't all...I think there were like 9). So now its my turn. My eparty is this summer and she said she probably cant make it, cause now she has a kid. She might only make it for the wedding and nothing else. It just bothers me. Its not fair. .

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Wow. That does seem rather unreciprocal but I don't want to make you feel bad. It's hard not to go tit for tat. I do think some women can become self important and are over involved with their children at that. We live in a child centric world now so it always flies when you say, 'because of the kids'. I hate to sound cynical or mean but BULL$$IT!

I was disappointed in some of the no's that I received...but trust me, on that day you won't care.



I wished my college roommate could have made the effort to see me - but honestly, I probably wouldn't have spent more than 5 minutes talking to her.

I know it hurts, and I know its hard to do for others and not have the same courtesy given back, but trust me, you won't care!

The only time you will think of it again is when you are stuck in an airport on your honeymoon.

i definitely know how you feel. we are getting a lot more no's than expected. now we may not even make our minimum and who would have thought inviting 188 would have us fall short of meeting a 125 min! i think FH also feels upset a bit b/c he thought more of his friends from college that live out of town would come and they are not so i think he's hurt a little..

Think of it this way, what if EVERYONE you invited came and you'd be paying more for the wedding than you bargained for? I am PRAYING that some people I counted on as a yes say no.

Having less people in general can be a good thing - less time running around to all the tables to say hi, more time to relax and enjoy your time with your husband at the wedding... I know how you feel because one of my bridesmaids might not even be coming to my shower, but you know what, you just have to focus on all the wonderful things going on and try not to get down about it. The important people will be there, and when your wedding happens none of that other stuff will matter. Hang in there, sorry you're feeling sad

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Posted by DWKSwed

Think of it this way, what if EVERYONE you invited came and you'd be paying more for the wedding than you bargained for? I am PRAYING that some people I counted on as a yes say no.

Having less people in general can be a good thing - less time running around to all the tables to say hi, more time to relax and enjoy your time with your husband at the wedding... I know how you feel because one of my bridesmaids might not even be coming to my shower, but you know what, you just have to focus on all the wonderful things going on and try not to get down about it. The important people will be there, and when your wedding happens none of that other stuff will matter. Hang in there, sorry you're feeling sad

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Well, one thing's for sure. It's nothing personal. We all seem to be in the same boat!

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Posted by NYgirlinTX

I am in the same boat, through this wedding process you do realize a lot about whom your true friends and family are. Just hang in there, the people that want to be there will be, and thats all that matters Keep smiling!!!

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I couldnt agree more. Hang in there honey and just remember your wedding day is actually about - both you and your future hubby

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Posted by DWKSwed

Think of it this way, what if EVERYONE you invited came and you'd be paying more for the wedding than you bargained for? I am PRAYING that some people I counted on as a yes say no.

Having less people in general can be a good thing - less time running around to all the tables to say hi, more time to relax and enjoy your time with your husband at the wedding... I know how you feel because one of my bridesmaids might not even be coming to my shower, but you know what, you just have to focus on all the wonderful things going on and try not to get down about it. The important people will be there, and when your wedding happens none of that other stuff will matter. Hang in there, sorry you're feeling sad

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ITA!!! I want the people who really want to be there to come.

I completely understand where you are coming from! It is hard when others aren't as into it as you are but keep your head up... Those who are coming will make the night unforgettable and you will have just as much fun regardless of who responds 'no'