RSVP Situation...What would you do?

So, I think I mentioned last month at my shower, a friend of mine, who has been known to be kinda flaky like this, had rsvped that she would be coming, tried to get out of it a week before by messaging my sister that something came up at work and she wouldn't be able to make the shower that weekend, and kinda got caught when my sister informed her that it wasn't that weekend, but the following. So shock of shocks, she just didn't show up the following weekend either, and then claimed she was sick, but that she 'wanted to get together to give me my gift', and then never contacted me again to make plans, and I am not about to hunt anyone down for the sole purpose of getting a phantom gift.

So long story short, she sent back her card today, saying that she will be coming to the wedding with her husband. Unfortunately, I can't trust that she actually will, based on precedent going back almost 10 years. The shower hasn't been the first time it's happened, but it's the first time there was monetary repercussions. The wedding will be literally be 7 times the repercussions if they don't show up last minute.

Would you hedge your bets and NOT include them in final count which is more likely to be the case, or give the benefit of the doubt yet again and 99% sure be out the couple hundred at the end of the day?

It's really a tough situation, because I would love to believe that they're coming, but in my heart of hearts I know that there will be some BS excuse the day of.

I had a situation that was very similar...my friiend from high school RSVPed yes to my shower and then never showed up...no call, no sorry..nothing. I emailed and asked what happened and she said she forgot. I wrote her an email and asked her to please forget to come to my wedding because the day is for people who care enough to remember. ( i know im terrible.) I haven't spoken to her since. I feel like you can't not include her because then what if she does in fact show up. As much as it stinks I would include her in the final count. Sorry!

eta: So just so you don't think im completely heartless, this was just one of many instances in which she made plans/promised something etc and never came through lol

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Posted by MrsDrinkh20

eta: So just so you don't think im completely heartless, this was just one of many instances in which she made plans/promised something etc and never came through lol

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LOL don't think you're heartless at all, I feel like we might even have the same friend...same situation here, only since she said she was 'sick', not 'forgot' or 'didn't want to', I couldn't exactly answer the way you did.

hmm this is tough....i get confusd by this cause if u dont include her..isnt there no place for her to sit..i mean will the rh have a place setting for her ,will there be a place card for her f she does show up?

if there will be a place card set up and a place setting but u still dont have to put her in the final number than i say dont count her...if there wont be a plac card,i say count her..u would not want herto show up and look for a card that was never there

u could also call her the day u have to give that final number and double check she is coming

Thats a tough situation. I wouldn't include her in the number.

Maybe the day before the wedding, give her a call and just be like hey can't wait to see you tomorrow and see what she says. If she says she is still coming, I am sure your RH will let you add last minute. You can always have the placecard ready to just be added in.

I would call her and say Listen, are you really coming or are you gonna flake out again? If she's an adult, she needs to be called on her rude behavior.

I have no patience for that sort of thing. A friend of mine did it to me for my shower, bachelorette party AND my wedding and finally I just said forget it, obviously I'm not that important to her! IMO, she's not really a very good friend if she does stuff like that to you regularly, and on especially important occasions.