Runaway Bridesmaid- to invite or not to invite??

I posted awhile back about a BM who I booted/ignored me.

Well, I spoke to her in Sept about dresses and she said she 'thinks' she could make the date I was going w/ my sis. I never called her and she didnt call me so my sis and I went....fine.

I called my her a few times btwn sept and nov and left 1 or 2 messages..like- hey whats new, etc. No call back. (at this point im feeling stalkerish)

Now, I figure, shes out- fine. But then she sends me a xmas card with a note saying 'sorry i lost touch..hope you can forgive me..a lot going...i'll fill you in when i speak to you..etc' So- i feel bad like OMG somethings going on, I hope she's ok.

I left a message that I hope all is ok and to call me, etc. NO call back.

So, I'm doing my programs and its the final deadline to order dresses (she still hasnt called me back about the BP to say NO so I dont wanna exclude her)

So I call and leave yet ANOTHER message saying 'I know you have a lot going on over there so just let me know if your in or out..i understand if your out- thats fine, but i need to know' NOTHING

She was invited to my shower....didnt call to rsvp.

Now I wasnt going to even invite her to the wedding now..would that be bad?

This is someone who I have been friends w/ for like 7 years..she was so excited whe I asked her to be in the BP, etc, then doesnt call me back?!?! W T F?!?!

Everyone tells me to screw her if she doesnt have the decency to just call or email that she cant be in the BP..I gave her an out and I'm not mad about it. (I got to keep her coach wristlet after all
)

But I feel bad b/c we have been friends for so long and maybe shes going through something (possibly problems w/ her husband and know her FIL was sick) but its been 5 mo. and not even an email. I know shes an admitted 'flake' but never this bad.

Sorry so long

TIA

there is no way i could continue to be friends with someone like that, let alone let her share my BIG DAY!

You are a good woman!

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Posted by MrsK2008

there is no way i could continue to be friends with someone like that, let alone let her share my BIG DAY!

You are a good woman!

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wel she's DEFINITELY out of the BP..who the eff knows if she'd even show up.

Whoa-- did you and I have the same bridesmaid???? I went through the SAME thing and I wound up inviting her to the wedding because I felt bad and did not even RSVP!! I haven't heard from her since November and I pray that she's ok. She was also going through some hard times with her husband and would only communicate with me thru e-mail and would never return a call or even a text. She never gave me a penny for her dress and never gave my girls and my mom money for the shower/bach party. She was sooo ecstatic to be in my BP, but has completely shut me out of her life.


Anyway, I would invite her but definitely don't count on her coming

just my opinion... I would leave her one more message saying you want to touch base... the date is quickly approaching and you want to know if she is still committed to being a part of your day.

Send the invite. Be the bigger person and put it in her hands. With that, if she backs out, she and no one else can say that you didn't make the effort.

Just my two cents. I know it ***** sometimes to be the bigger person.

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Posted by LoveRocks

Whoa-- did you and I have the same bridesmaid???? I went through the SAME thing and I wound up inviting her to the wedding because I felt bad and did not even RSVP!! I haven't heard from her since November and I pray that she's ok. She was also going through some hard times with her husband and would only communicate with me thru e-mail and would never return a call or even a text. She never gave me a penny for her dress and never gave my girls and my mom money for the shower/bach party. She was sooo ecstatic to be in my BP, but has completely shut me out of her life.


Anyway, I would invite her but definitely don't count on her coming

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LOL- was her name Jenn M.???

it DOES sound like the same thing.

I just dont wanna call again and be a stalker

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Posted by futuremrsfab

jmo but it sounds like from your post that you do want to invite her and that you want to salvage the friendship, if it were me, I would give it one last shot- invite her to wedding & then if she didnt at least rsvp, then cut her off

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thanks

see- i just dont want to be a stalker- ya know

its obvious shes avoiding my calls...she doesnt work so i know shes home all day

I would be 'done' trying at this point

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Posted by ChristineAaron08

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Posted by LoveRocks

Whoa-- did you and I have the same bridesmaid???? I went through the SAME thing and I wound up inviting her to the wedding because I felt bad and did not even RSVP!! I haven't heard from her since November and I pray that she's ok. She was also going through some hard times with her husband and would only communicate with me thru e-mail and would never return a call or even a text. She never gave me a penny for her dress and never gave my girls and my mom money for the shower/bach party. She was sooo ecstatic to be in my BP, but has completely shut me out of her life.


Anyway, I would invite her but definitely don't count on her coming

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LOL- was her name Jenn M.???

it DOES sound like the same thing.

I just dont wanna call again and be a stalker

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No, its not the same girl lol but the same situation. She has your number, so I wouldn't bother calling. Just send her the invite and go from there.

After reading your post, I started to wonder what happened to my runaway-BM-- the last time I heard form her was over 3 months ago So I just sent her an email... that she probably won't respond to lol

i say if she hasnt returned an email or called you in 5 months just forget about her... even if she has been going through something- its not hard to send a quick email letting you know she cant be in the bp. we had a groomsman like this.... he came to the e-party, no gift, no card, sat there like he was miserable... fast forward to sending out the wedding invites... i asked fh 'whens the last time you spoke to so-and-so?' fh's answer-- at the e-party. which was in april and our invites went out in november. so we didnt bother sending him an invite. he hasnt called inquiring about one either... sorry to ramble, but i know how you feel kinda.... and just wanted to tell you what i did in this situation.

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Posted by LoveRocks

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Posted by ChristineAaron08

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Posted by LoveRocks

Whoa-- did you and I have the same bridesmaid???? I went through the SAME thing and I wound up inviting her to the wedding because I felt bad and did not even RSVP!! I haven't heard from her since November and I pray that she's ok. She was also going through some hard times with her husband and would only communicate with me thru e-mail and would never return a call or even a text. She never gave me a penny for her dress and never gave my girls and my mom money for the shower/bach party. She was sooo ecstatic to be in my BP, but has completely shut me out of her life.


Anyway, I would invite her but definitely don't count on her coming

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LOL- was her name Jenn M.???

it DOES sound like the same thing.

I just dont wanna call again and be a stalker

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No, its not the same girl lol but the same situation. She has your number, so I wouldn't bother calling. Just send her the invite and go from there.

After reading your post, I started to wonder what happened to my runaway-BM-- the last time I heard form her was over 3 months ago So I just sent her an email... that she probably won't respond to lol

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i know what you mean- its like you hope they are ok and your sittign here worrying and they are fine and just being arses and not calling back..lol

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Posted by yelley77

EFF THAT!!!

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...and Danielle sums it up in 2 words..lol

I think you've tried. 5 months is more than enough time for someone to give a 'decency' call back.

Personally I wouldn't even invite her to the wedding. What for?

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Posted by annoulaksMOH

just my opinion... I would leave her one more message saying you want to touch base... the date is quickly approaching and you want to know if she is still committed to being a part of your day.

Send the invite. Be the bigger person and put it in her hands. With that, if she backs out, she and no one else can say that you didn't make the effort.

Just my two cents. I know it ***** sometimes to be the bigger person.

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I agree....I was just going to type that exact thing!!

Do you know exactly what shes going thru? Is she a good enough friend (prior to sept) that she is worth giving the benefit of the doubt?