My FMIL said a while ago that she would pay, well here we are with a month and a half to go, no RD planned yet. It turns out that FMIL thinks it is 'rediculous' to pay for a restaurant. So, she said she would have a buffet in her house. But I fell for that trick once before. We had our e-party at her house, we ended up doing TONS of work for it, including fixing up her house, and WE got stuck paying for all of it too! So, I am not about to have our RD at her house, so we can fix everything up, and do all the serving and cleaning. It is the night before my wedding, I shouldnt have to be doing work! Plus, I know we will probably get stuck paying too. So, now here are my options, I can either skip the RD altogether, or pay for a restaurant myself. (Which I dont think I can afford). It would just be nice if someone in our families would be willing to do something nice for us. Nobody has given us a penny, and nobody cares about making our wedding special. I am so sick of it. I cant stop crying. Sorry to vent, and be depressing, sometimes you are the only ones who understand.
Robeymuse
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Re: Sad about rehearsal dinner
Christy I am sorry to hear that you shouldn't have the added stress of this on top of your wedding. Have you talked to your FH about it?
missy24
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Re: Sad about rehearsal dinner
I am sorry Christy. I would definitely NOT have the dinner at your in-laws after they treated you like that. You do not want to be cleaning the night before your wedding.
Do it your way. If you have a credit card, go to the restaurant. Keep your sanity. If you planning on inviting the bridal party's dates, maybe you want to re-think it if you need to foot the bill. At a restaurant you can do buffet-style instead of sit down dinner, to cut cost too.
I can sympathize you... I am paying for every thing for the wedding too. Possibly the RD too.
karen32
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Re: Sad about rehearsal dinner
So sorry to hear you are going through all this.
If you're looking to cut costs could you maybe do a Chinese buffet RD?? My one GF did this - and can I tell you - we had such a good time and it was relatively inexpensive for the B&G. There's something about a ton of food in a casual environment - we laughed and reminsced (sp?) for hours!! (Just don't go too crazy with the chinese food yourself - you don't want to be sick on your wedding day!!)
Best of Luck to you!!
Lisa Rose
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Re: Sad about rehearsal dinner
I was going to suggest the same thing that Karen32 did! a Chinese Buffet!! they are the best...something for everyone. Im not sure where you are but there is a BIG buffet place on Deer Park Ave in North BAbylon that has so much food you would be amazed. A wonderful salad bar, raw bar and mongolian BBQ I think they even have a seperate room. Im not sure how many people you are having but it may be worth while to check it out.
Good Luck!! Lisa
Rob-luvs-me
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Re: Sad about rehearsal dinner
Christy I'm sorry you are going thru this. With all the other expenses of a wedding the RD can seem overwhelming I'm sure. I understand why you wouldn't want to have it at her house after your last experience. Do you have a friend who might lend you her backyard or house for the party and have more of a cocktail deal and cater it - it would cost much less than the restaurant.
christy
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Re: Sad about rehearsal dinner
Thanks for the feedback ladies. I am going to call a chinese place and see what kinds of prices I can get. Also, I love the backyard idea, but I cant count on this for April. My grandfather offered his house, but he already paid for my shower, so I dont want to put him out. Thanks for listening, and being there, you are the only ones who understand!
ddunne23
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Re: Sad about rehearsal dinner
What about a totally low key pizza and game night? That would be relatively inexpensive and low stress. Just another idea!
Cindy
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Re: Sad about rehearsal dinner
Christy, Sorry about how you are feeling. Just remember that the last coupleof months are super stressful. I think almost everyone has something. In my opinion, I would not have it at her house. You can find different kinds of restaurants with different price ranges. It doesnt have to be so elaborate. HAve you checked around the area for different prices?
christy
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Re: Sad about rehearsal dinner
I did check around the area, and I found some prices in like the 15-20$pp area. But that is more than FMIL will spend. I have to sit down with FH and see what we can afford if we throw our own.
wacky
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Re: Sad about rehearsal dinner
Christy, Im sorry for your situation sounds like mine.
Listen how many people are you having at your RD. There are many places you can have it, without breaking the bank.
How about brunch? We booked Koenings for abt 40 pp but we included full open bar. You can have it for abt $22 pp without drinks.
Valenia
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Re: Sad about rehearsal dinner
Another possibility -- have it at her house, order pizza to be delivered (no set up and low cost) and walk out of there at the end of the night without cleaning. She isn't going to be able to keep you there.
Niecey
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Re: Sad about rehearsal dinner
christy - I am so sorry you feel sad. Please don't feel upset. We are all here for you. You are hitting thet crunch time and I know it can be super stressful and even at times sad.
I love the chinese buffet and pizza party ideas. I know there is one in my nieghborhood (queens) that does them for like $10pp. (My friend had her baby'sb-day party there..private room and you pay the food and decorations, if necessary) They can totally be informal and fun!!!
Hugs to you
Claud2001
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Re: Sad about rehearsal dinner
No one says that you MUST have a full dinner for a rehearsal gathering. What if you had everyone over your house/apt?? (I'm sorry, I don't know your personal living arrangement). Do your parents live nearby? Can they host an informal gathering for you?
You could just have some simple hors de'vours, cheese and crackers, veggies and dips and a cake or some pastries/cookies.
Remember - the people that are typically invited to your RD are your closest friends and family...and all of these people care more about you than they would a dinner at a fancy restaurant. Besides, everyone will have *plenty* to eat the following evening at the wedding.
Try not to stress....a RD is not an absolute must in my opinion. It's one of those things that really is a 'nice to have.'
christy
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Re: Sad about rehearsal dinner
Ladies you are right. A rehearsal dinner is by no means a must have. It just stinks when we were counting on one and now have been thrown a curveball. However, I should have known better! There are other alternatives, now it is time for FH and I to talk it out and see what we should do. Thanks so much ladies!
prncssrachel
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Re: Sad about rehearsal dinner
Someday, when you have children of your own with FH, you will want to give them everything that you wished you would have had. Keep in mind that you are getting married, and although I am in a similar situation with my FIL, it is the marriage that is going to last so much longer than the wedding. Wow, that was poetic, and maybe I might not want to believe this when I am a month and a half away from my wedding, but I will be in a similar situation then, so I keep trying to convince myself of this to make it easier. Good luck.
I'm sorry about this situation...what does your FH think? If anyone talks to FMIL...it should be him...
what was awful about the e-party? since the RD is smaller...all it has to be is cleaned maybe? then go to a deli and have it catered...
you could also do this at a VFW hall if you want...
maybe a BM would be willing to host it?
Helene718
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Re: Sad about rehearsal dinner
I like Valenia's idea. Have pizza delivered and leave when it's time to clean up. You could even try to 'disappear' when the pizza arrives so you don't have to pay. Or even have it delivered before you get there so FMIL will have to pay!
jpsgirl
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Re: Sad about rehearsal dinner
you could probably find a pizzeria with a back room, I don't know what town you are in, but I know I've seen a lot of these. They may be willing to just reserve the back room for you, and you could have a pizza party there, without spending too much money. I'd avoid their home altogether if I were you!
