Sad Vent

For as many people that have said congratulations and have been really happy for my FH and I ... I've had just as many that have throw it back in my face and even stopped talking to me all together...

Has anyone else been faced with complete animosity and jealously from the most unexpected people?

It makes me feel so unloved and like the only person I can talk to and be happy with is my FH... This time should be special and happy and I feel like I can't do that for fear that the next person that sees me happy is going to snap...

Sorry for such a whiny rant, everyone just got me really really down today

Sorry to hear that, You know I already shared what I went through so you will be ok!! Be happy bc sometimes other people are just mean out of jealousy. Who really cares about them... If they are true friends they will be supportive!!!

Honestly, I was just telling FH that I feel like I have no friends. They don't understand that I'm saving for a wedding and just bought a co-op, I guess it's because I'm only 23. All my friends wanna go club hopping and I'm not into it so they kinda just stopped inviting me. I make a point to do girl's dinners though. Atleast I'm marrying my best friend - sounds like you are too!

yeah, some of my longtime friends have done NOTHING to show that they are happy for us. I was really disapointed since I am the first out of all of us to get engaged.

We always talked about 'who'd be first' etc and when it did happen, some treated it like it was everyday news???

Some went above and beyond though to show their support (Alot of people at work surprisingly!) and it made me rethink some friendships.

well that's why you have us! we all get it.

the sad thing is, although some of your friends will drop you, they'll expect you to be there for THEM when it's their time.

Just enjoy your time together. Try to be available sometimes for your friends to socialize. It's ok not to go out all the time and yes, people will be hurt and jealous. They'll get it eventually.

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Posted by MrsTarricone2B



Honestly, I was just telling FH that I feel like I have no friends. They don't understand that I'm saving for a wedding and just bought a co-op, I guess it's because I'm only 23. All my friends wanna go club hopping and I'm not into it so they kinda just stopped inviting me. I make a point to do girl's dinners though. Atleast I'm marrying my best friend - sounds like you are too!

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awww, I'm in the same situation! I'm 26 and it's hard for me to always decline for money/other responsibilities so I can't even imagine how hard it is for you at 23!

I also do NOT feel like going clubbing anymore aside from the money aspect! I prefer dinners but even that I have to cut back on because I'm saving money.

FH HAS become my best friend and it's good that he feels the same way.

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Posted by SoonToBeMrsONeill

For as many people that have said congratulations and have been really happy for my FH and I ... I've had just as many that have throw it back in my face and even stopped talking to me all together...

Has anyone else been faced with complete animosity and jealously from the most unexpected people?

It makes me feel so unloved and like the only person I can talk to and be happy with is my FH... This time should be special and happy and I feel like I can't do that for fear that the next person that sees me happy is going to snap...

Sorry for such a whiny rant, everyone just got me really really down today

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I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I've had my down moments since we've gotten engaged but I just had to realize that this should be the happiest time of my life. At the end of the day, its only about FH and I and if we are happy, that should be all that matters.

Thanks for the support guys

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Posted by asg450

Sorry to hear about this, but sadly every bride-to-be has one person who acts ridiculous when she gets engaged. The moment you get engaged or announce you're pregnant all the jealousy and cattiness comes out.

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yeah i decided I'm not telling everyone I'm pregnant when the time comes... it'll probably make them super happy to think that i'm just getting fat

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Posted by Melfrank

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Posted by SoonToBeMrsONeill

For as many people that have said congratulations and have been really happy for my FH and I ... I've had just as many that have throw it back in my face and even stopped talking to me all together...

Has anyone else been faced with complete animosity and jealously from the most unexpected people?

It makes me feel so unloved and like the only person I can talk to and be happy with is my FH... This time should be special and happy and I feel like I can't do that for fear that the next person that sees me happy is going to snap...

Sorry for such a whiny rant, everyone just got me really really down today

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I get this from pretty much everyone in FH's family.. It makes me feel really sad... All the congratulations were followed with them talking about themselves or questioning of what we were doing, or every comment about my ring came with a comment about how their ring was better or about how they didn't like the style... It is really sad.. Luckily I have my family who responded so well and are still so happy for us and aren't trying to compete and aren't jealous. Most of it is because most of my relatives got married young, like 21 and 22 and I gave them the utmost respect during their special time and never felt the need for jealousy or resentment, so they can happily return the favor.. With his side, it's all about who can do what first, or best, or non-stop attention seeking behavior, and I just don't fight back.. Cheer up, and if you have FH's support that's all you really need.. Hopefully you can find a few people who are truely happy and focus on them!! That's what I am doing! (or trying to)

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Aww thank you so much for writing this it really did make me feel a lot better <3

You ladies are the best :)

I completely know how you feel because I feel the exact same way and it is so hurtful! I am the type of person who loves giving more than receiving...When my friends got engaged I couldn't be any happier for them, but when it happened to me, NADA! All I got was oh congrats! I took people out to dinner, asked how things are going, how I can help, for me nothing :( Its so upsetting especially when you are planning for an amazing day...

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Posted by sjr385

I've run into more ambivalence than open hostility. Just try not to let it get to you.

There was an article in Sunday's NYTimes that ended with 'Ms. Richardson-Hall also suggests that couples, who tend to get caught up in the planning, take a step back. 'I always tell brides and grooms: 'This is the first event you’re hosting together. Be mindful of your guests’ comfort,' ' she said. 'I tell them: 'When you’re getting married, your wedding is the most important thing to you. But other people don’t feel that way.'' I try to keep that last line in mind.

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See, indifference I can handle - because I get it - the world doesn't revolved around me and my wedding, but for girls to be outright spiteful and just plain mean is what has been getting me down.

It boils down to them being upset that my FH and I have been together for a shorter amount of time but he's willing and ready to commit... I want to tell them all: well if you weren't such a CRAZY maybe your boyfriend would propose!!!

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Posted by jxpsych5659

I completely know how you feel because I feel the exact same way and it is so hurtful! I am the type of person who loves giving more than receiving...When my friends got engaged I couldn't be any happier for them, but when it happened to me, NADA! All I got was oh congrats! I took people out to dinner, asked how things are going, how I can help, for me nothing :( Its so upsetting especially when you are planning for an amazing day...

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EXACTLY!!! I am the same exact way! I always bend over backwards for everyone, not even friends, just anyone that is in need and I never say anything about it or try to make myself look good by doing it... i just do what I need to do to help someone out and that's it. Its hella frustrating to not get it back though!

At least we're not alone lol

i'm sorry to hear that you're going through this.. but i think each and every one of us has dealt with something similar at one point...

for my personally... this whole new chapter in my life has made me re-evaluate who are actually the people who are worth my times. friends that i would have assumed would be happy for me, aren't. it's depressing to think about, but it's definitely an eye opener.

i agree with another bride -- that's why liw is here. all the girls on this forum are super helpful and always willing to lend a hand.

i dont know what i'd do if i hadn't found this website...