Sad/Weird Day Yesterday

My Mom, FH and myself went to Pinelawn yesterday. Here is the back story... My Grandparents purchased a Garden Mausoleum in the 80's. Grandma sadly is resting there since February 14, 2008. My parents are divorced. My Mom is engaged to a wonderful man and this marriage would be their second. My Mom's FH plans to be buried with his 1st wife, leaving my Mom alone. I didn't want this to happen so My FH and I decided that we would get a Garden Mausoleum next to my Mom.

Well..... Yesterday was the weirdest day of my life. I cant even describe the emotions I was going through.

We stopped at My Grandmothers grave ( My Grandpa was with us as well) then we drove a little to the back where my Mom said was available. I was hysterical crying. All these thoughts were going through my head.
I was thinking that I never want to see this again and then I was thinking that the next time I have to see this one of us will be gone. I could not stop crying. I was literally hyperventaling it was so bad.
I'm not sure if it was the combo of stopping by Grandma's plot (but I do this at least 2 times a month) and My/FH & Moms, but I was an emotional wreck all day.

Its sooo weird ....our 1st major purchase together is a grave. FH is the best for understanding that I didn't want my Mom to be alone and doing this now with us.

Such a weird day.