Second Baby Shower? Tacky?

I would def have a lil sprinkle, sure why not , just keep it small , thats all

Also , I can see having a 2nd one if they def know its the opposite sex of their first child!

P.S. I love that term......SPRINKLE !

---

Posted by debismom

Sorry, I have to take a different opinion on this. To me every baby is Special, and deserves to know when they look at their baby book, someday, that they didn't receive the hand me downs, but people loved them enough to have a party and bring new gifts, such as new baby clothes, etc. Respectfully, Mary MOB

---

i agree with you but i think that's what baptisms are for. at least in my family. and when i visit a new baby i always bring a gift so i'm not sure you need another shower to do so.

I was in the same boat as you with my FSIL. I decided to do a Baby Sprinkle with close family and friends, no wishing well, no registry. We're all just giving baby basics (onesies, lotion, etc). It's very casual, in my apt. She's got everything from my nephew, who's 3, so she kept the nursery and all that.

If it was a girl, then I'd say it isn't tacky. But yeah, since she's having a second boy, it's tacky to go all out and have another shower, unless there were many years in between, or some other circumstance.

I think its tacky. My bros fiance did this when they got pregnant with their second a little over a year later and it was just awful - she was so mad! The only way i think those work is if theres a HUGE gap inbetween pregnancies....

What my mom did offer to her (which she declined bc shes mean) is to hold a meet the baby luncheon for her after the baby was born

---

Posted by ant n tilde

---

Posted by MrsK2008

---

Posted by ant n tilde



tell us how you really feel LOL
i think that the NW traditions are different bc we have bigger affairs - at a hall with decorations, favors etc. so to have that more than once OR to pay for a big shower and then have another even if its smaller, in a few years - it would just be too expensive

Also, even though my nephew is not getting a baby shower he will have a big baptism party in just a few months! So it is a lot of stuff all at once for the family to pay for.

---

I went to a christening with FH when we first started dating. I don;t do christening typically because I am agnostic. I couldn't believe the money spent, it was like a reception!

I don't get it, I probably never will!

---

yup - christenings, communions, confirmations - people go all out.

in my family we do them at home, or a dinner at a restaurant if the family lives in an apartment - but i have been to plenty at halls

but as for showers, especially with MY italian family - they are like mini-weddings i had almost 80 people at my shower!

---

i'm right there with you tilde! my sisters all have kids. they've all had showers (1 each only), baptisms, first birthdays, communions, and soon confirmations - all at halls! all of their bridal and baby showers were 80-100 people. my niece's 1st birthday was at douglaston manor, all of them were at halls!

even though this is traditionally how i grew up, i have never been a fan. maybe b/c it hasn't been about me or my kid yet, but even so... my bridal shower is not a surprise and i did the list and i only wanted 45 people invited - my mother was like, oh wow it's so short... we can have it at a nicer place!

Is she planning to do a baby registry? Does she want the shower to get gifts or just to celebrate the imminent birth of her 2nd child?

If she doesn't want gifts, then it should say so on the invite, and keep it a small affair at home. If she wants gifts...then in my opinion that is a bit tacky.

I have mixed feelings

i understand what others say that every child is special, and i agree. I dont think anybody on here is saying that the baby is not special or they don't deserve new things. But the same way with a bridal shower, we are starting our new lives together so people do this as a nice thing to help us all out whom are just starting out, when it can be difficult. Same with the first baby, usually they go by the whole, well they are young and now have a new baby, although times have changed so not always the case but still how its viewed. iF SOMEBODY decides to continue having more kids then that is their responsibility and not expect for everybody to always buy new things for them.

Now people will throw you a shower to help you start your new life. If somebody has lets say 3 kids or so, then its not everybodies job to continue paying for things for you, has nothing to do with the baby. But if a couple makes a decision to have more kids, they have to realize they are a little bit older and are more settled into their lives at this point and can't expect to get a whole bunch of new things for free. Like it has been mentioned, they will have a christening and will get monetary gifts that way. But if somebody has 4 kids, and a shower for each one, christening for each one, then that can become alot. You'll basically always have money and gifts to give to this person.

A little something at the house is different. Also when ppl visit the newborn they usually bring gifts. I always bring a gift when i visit somebodies newborn baby.

---

Posted by Espo22

---

Posted by MrsK2008

---

Posted by ant n tilde



tell us how you really feel LOL
i think that the NW traditions are different bc we have bigger affairs - at a hall with decorations, favors etc. so to have that more than once OR to pay for a big shower and then have another even if its smaller, in a few years - it would just be too expensive

Also, even though my nephew is not getting a baby shower he will have a big baptism party in just a few months! So it is a lot of stuff all at once for the family to pay for.

---

I went to a christening with FH when we first started dating. I don;t do christening typically because I am agnostic. I couldn't believe the money spent, it was like a reception!

I don't get it, I probably never will!

---

many christenings here are big, and obviously every child will have a christening lol. Alot of money is spent and all the gifts given are cash gifts. I am christian orthodox, and our christenings are huge, and people give alot of money as a gift.

There are many traditions in different cultures and religions that are different than mine. I dont need to get it or think something is wrong just because it is different than mine. I see it as just a different culture or religion and that is THEIR way of doing things, and that is all i need to know.

---

amen.

---

Posted by Espo22

I have mixed feelings

i understand what others say that every child is special, and i agree. I dont think anybody on here is saying that the baby is not special or they don't deserve new things. But the same way with a bridal shower, we are starting our new lives together so people do this as a nice thing to help us all out whom are just starting out, when it can be difficult. Same with the first baby, usually they go by the whole, well they are young and now have a new baby, although times have changed so not always the case but still how its viewed.

Now people will throw you a shower to help you start your new life. If somebody has lets say 3 kids or so, then its not everybodies job to continue paying for things for you, has nothing to do with the baby. But if a couple makes a decision to have more kids, they have to realize they are a little bit older and are more settled into their lives at this point and can't expect to get a whole bunch of new things for free. Like it has been mentioned, they will have a christening and will get monetary gifts that way. But if somebody has 4 kids, and a shower for each one, christening for each one, then that can become alot. You'll basically always have money and gifts to give to this person.

A little something at the house is different. Also when ppl visit the newborn they usually bring gifts. I always bring a gift when i visit somebodies newborn baby.

---

agreed 100%

---

Posted by debismom

Sorry, I have to take a different opinion on this. To me every baby is Special, and deserves to know when they look at their baby book, someday, that they didn't receive the hand me downs, but people loved them enough to have a party and bring new gifts, such as new baby clothes, etc. Respectfully, Mary MOB

---

You're right Mary that a shower for each child is nice, but I have to disagree that if you didn't have one you feel less special.

My mom didn't have a baby shower for my brother nor for me, and we don't feel bad about not having had a pre-birth party. Even though my brother is 5 years older than me, I still had hand-me-down onesies (and other things)...I don't feel less loved. In fact, I feel more loved because I know my parents weren't well-to-do yet they took such good care of us with limited means.

---

Posted by MrsK2008

---

Posted by AMGBride2008

---

Posted by MrsK2008

I think a lot of northeastern traditions are stingy and weird.

.

---

Careful, you are in a room full of 'stingy' and 'extravagant ' Northeasterners...

---

I think 12 years of living here qualifies me a northeasterner. I will eyeroll with all the stingy folks, oh wait, that kind of means me too.

---

i dont get it though. First northeasterners are stingy but then we also spend alot on parties such as christenings and all that ...i am also going to guess that northeasterns also give more at such occasions

---

Posted by debismom

Interesting to read about Christenings, and the gifts received because of them. In my faith, we don't have Christenings, and therefore no gifts associated with that. I still think some new baby gifts, whether by shower, or given when one visits the new baby, are nice. To be sure, I don't know how kids will truly feel, about such things when they look at their baby books. I'm coming from the point of view of what some kids might feel, and since I came from a somewhat dysfunctional family, and carry many childhood hurts, I sense more keenly, the need to be kind to children, therefore my feelings about giving them new gifts when they're born. Respectfully, Mary MOB

---

in my culture we dont do baby showers, so my mother didnt have one for me and i am more than fine with it lol. I dont think ive ever even thought about it. Of course i go by american traditions alot so i will have a baby shower for my first one. However, for my christening, i know my parents had a big party at a restaurant. People give very well at the christening. Many give the way they would at a wedding and give lets say $200 and up. So although not every child will get a shower, they will get alot of money from the christening for the parents to be able to buy new things. Its also usually a very big party and most christenings ive been to are about 200 people or more.