Second thoughts (kind of long)

How's THIS for a question for you girls!

I know that there are some people who have second thoughts about getting married (like that crazy runaway bride in Georgia I think a few years back?)

And I know there are plenty of girls just on these boards alone who have second thoughts about asking people to be their MOH or in their bridal parties.

BUT...how about second thoughts on your officiant?????????????



Some of you know I'm having two priests concelebrate my wedding.

I'm friends with both priests, but you know how sometimes friends drift apart? Well, that's happening right now. Priest #1 and me are kind of drifting. We would always be in constant contact with each other and when I first got sick his words to me were: 'You're not doing this alone. I'll be here to help you and Chris (FH) through this.' And at first he was great, but over the past few months, the only time I hear from him is if I send a group email out to my friends with a health update. And usually it's a short email saying, 'Glad to hear you're doing well with your therapy.' I've sent him Thanksgiving, Christmas and birthday cards. I've gotten nothing back. I invited to my birthday party last night. He didn't even respond yes or no (and he didn't come).

I have no similar issues with Priest #2.

I wanted both priests to concelebrate the wedding because I'm friends with both of them. But now I'm feeling like I don't want Priest #1 to do it because the whole point of asking both priests to do it, was because we're all friends.

I know the wedding is a year and a half away, but this is something I need to consider. Do you think I should just not say anything? Or wait till I get closer to the wedding and see what happens?

For what it's worth, FH says that people deal with illness differently and maybe Priest #1 is having a hard time with seeing his friend go through cancer. ???

I was thinking of maybe just being honest with him and saying that I feel our friendship has changed and if he doesn't want to do the wedding he doesn't have to.

who ever thought I'd have a problem like this?????????

I agree with what your FH is saying... your priest may feel like he'd be breathing down your back if he called you all the time or might think that you think he just cares because you were sick.

It must stink to feel the way you're feeling but think of it this way, lots of girls have absolutely no relationship with their officiant and they get married just fine and have happy marriages.

If you're friends with these priests though, let them know how you feel just like you would let any friend feel.

Good luck!

Thanks girls!

I guess it's hard to let any friendships go. it's not like he's Fr. ______ to FH and me. He's more ______, who happens to be a priest. That's why it was going to be so special for us to have him celebrate our wedding.

But I would hate to have him be there if we're no long friends.

*sigh*

I'll give it some time...I have a year and a half to make a decision.