September 11, 2004

The only reason not to do it is because it is still so soon after the tragedy. People have weddings on Memorial Day weekend all the time, even though it is a day for remembering those who died during times of war. The same goes for Pearl Harbor - I don't think it crosses many peoples' minds not to get married on 12-7. But that's because time has passed. As for 9-11, it's still a reality that many are living with. People are still in mourning and not comfortable with the idea of celebrating on that day.

Having said all that, there is no right or wrong decision - this is up to you. If my friend got married on that day, I would go and not be offended by it.

Honestly, this is just my opinion I wouldnt do it. Its a very somber day and to many its a day where they lost loved ones. You may have a person at your wedding whose neighbor daughter lost 15 of her collegues, or a fireman who lost half his unit. You could have a teacher who was teaching her class a history lesson not knowing she was about to become a lesson.

Its a hard day for many and I think a wedding makes it harder.

Again this is only my opinion as I was there on 9/11, I lost a very close family friend, my mom lost a friend that was in Haz Mat, my dad lost a client, my old company lost 11 people, and it has taken me a very long time to recover.

So please I hope I didnt offend you, I am just saying how I feel.

i think it's a personal choice that you and your fiance have to make. everyone will have an opinion whether or not you should do it - and everyone has valid reasons. but it is your wedding and ultimately the decision is up to you.
i think it's helpful to get other's viewpoints on it though - so i do think this thread will help you to see various perspectives.
i, personally, like to turn negatives into positives so i would like to have happy memories replace the horrific ones of 9/11.
good luck with your decision!!

I really appreciate everyone's insight on this topic. It def. helps me to decide on having a sept 11 wedding and I think i'm going to do it that day. I want to turn the day positive and we are fine having it that day. Thanks again

congratulations on your decision!!!

have fun planning the rest now!!!

It is understandable that some people feel strongly against getting married on this date, but you really need to do what is best for you and not worry about what others will think. Whether you plan a wedding for Sept. 11th or another date, people (your guests) will have something to say about it.

Do what is right for you!

I would agree that maybe you should ask close family how they feel about it too. If no one has any strong objections, then do what is right for you.

I personally would not, because I think the pain is still so fresh for so many people. I still shudder when I hear the date. To get married on the day that represents so much pain, grief and tragedy just to save money seems mercenary.
JMO, but you have to do what is best for you and FH.
Good luck with your decision.

I think that anyone who has a problem with it won't show up, which means that the only people there will be the ones ready to celebrate your special occasion with you. Not to mention that less people means less money.

Be prepared for plenty of nay-sayers (and people are certainly entitled), but don't let anyone make you feel bad for your decision. You are NOT the only person in the world getting married or having a celebration that day. Good luck with the planning!

I am happy to hear that you are doing what you think is right. There's plenty of people in the world who were born that day or were already married previously on that day, and to them, I'm sure their day is still special. You can just be two more to join them. Good luck

Guess what? I went to Jericho Terrace and they booked another party the same day that I wanted. I didn't book yet with them because I'm still checking out some other places but at least i'm not the only one looking at that day as an option. It made me feel better.

Please let us know what you finally end up doing. Thanks!!

rachel- i agree with you.....
i think though that its that we are new yorkers and were most dirrectly affected that we would not want that date..... but people in other states probably dont think about it as much

Sarah...I would love to go to a wedding on 9/11!! It makes a sad day...much better...

My best friend's boyfriend died in the towers...and it was so tragic...but the mourning will end...we have only had 1 aniversary since the event...and each year it will get a little easier...

its nice that someone can take a day of sorrow and change it into a day of new beginnings...


just to add...my grandfather died 13 days before my wedding...what could be a worse loss for a family to lose the oldest member (of the entire extended family)...but at the funeral there were so many comments about the wedding...and that they were looking forward to it...the first thing my aunt said to me when I saw her was, don't even think about cancelling the wedding...and many people mentioned how nice it was to see each otehr for a happy occasion rather than a sad one...

Personally, I'm not sure what I would do, but my opinion, in general, is that I think spending a day every single year feeling sad and depressed, depriving myself of any joy or happiness, is unhealthy.

What's the best way to honor someone's memory? To think of them with joy in your heart. Not to mope around in sadness every year. I'm not saying we can't feel bad, but feeling bad is all the more reason to try to find some joy on that day.

I don't think it's disrespectful to be happy on a day that someone or many people died. I think it's a sign of the indestructability of the human spirit. It's a testament to our ability to suffer great loss, great heartache, and still be able to move forward and go on to find happiness in spite of it all.

I think the best way to remember those who go before us, is to live a good life, and a happy life. What good does brooding do for those who have passed? What good does it do for us??

Holding on to sad memories and noting them every year with sorrow and self-imposed gloom may make us feel less guilty for being alive--but I'm sure it's not the way our loved ones would want to be remembered.

Using September 11 as a day to re-live the horror and the loss, is letting the Terrorists win. It's allowing them to hurt us over and over on an annual basis. They've done enough damage. I refuse to allow them to do it again and again, yearly, in my heart.

I say if you want to get married on September 11, then go for it. You will be giving that day a whole new meaning for yourself (and your family) for the rest of your life. I can't think of a better way to show the terrorists that they did NOT succeed in destroying us.

If other people don't like it, too bad.

Just my 2 cents.

I think to honor someones memory with a celebration is a wonderful idea, it gives new meaning to the day. I think the issue with some people may be that this is being done to save money, not to honor a memory. It may be seen as some as using a national tragedy to save a few dollars.
But as someone else mentioned, those offended will decline, those who want to celebrate will be there. It's a very personal decision that only the couple can make.