Serious Sister Drama!

I am soooo angry right now!!!!!!!!!! I asked my one and only sister to be my MOH and boy am I regretting that decision!

She is soooo jealous of the fact that I am getting married and is being really mean and nasty to me.

A little background on her: She got married very young to a guy that beat her, eventually divorced him, dated a few more wierdos after that, and now has a somewhat decent boyfriend that she has been dating for three years. She decided to move in with him on the grounds that he would propose soon after. Well, no ring yet and she is fuming! Also, the first time she got married to the guy nobody in our family liked (because he beat her), she eloped and now she regrets not having a big fancy wedding. So she is taking out all her frustration on me.

When I first got engaged I asked her to be my MOH. That was a little over a year ago. (My wedding is in 7 months now.) She agreed but said she wanted a co-MOH to help with the shower and bachelorette party. So, I asked another friend that likes party planning to be her Co-MOH. Then that friend dropped out due to financial issues, leaving my sister as my only MOH.

Also, I am fuming because out of the seven bridesmaids that said they would be in my wedding one year ago, I only have four left. Two of the remaining bridesmaids are acting wierd and will not answer phone calls and one of them is my sister who I am seriously thinking about kicking out of the wedding.

So, back in September I invited my bridesmaids to this really fancy tea and paid for them all. It was kind of like a thanks for being my bridesmaid kick off luncheon to see who was really serious about still being in the wedding. Only two out of ten people showed up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is when I was planning to give out these cute official invites to be in the bridal party (even though they already said yes to a verbal ask). That is about the time everyone started dropping out.

So, I mailed the invites to the remaining bridesmaids who could not make it. One called me back and left a message but acted wierd and the other one I have not heard from (although I know she is getting married in a few weeks and did not even invite me!!!)

So I am wondering what the heck I am supposed to do since they all have to get their dresses ordered over the next six weeks. So, I decide to send them a nice packet of information and make it look really cute. It has everything in it they need to know about ordering the dresses, booking a hotel room, etc.

My sister comes over and I give her the packet and she completely flips out on me!!!!!!! She tells me she does not have time to read the packet and will never read the packet. Then she proceeds to say that she does not have time or the money to be in my wedding and if I force her to read packets, she will drop out. What the heck???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nice MOH, right?

So then I tell her she has to get her dress by the 2nd week of January and she freaks and starts screaming about it being Christmas and all. I reminded her that I asked her a whole year ago and she should have been saving the $$$. Plus, she has six weeks to put down $68 for the deposit and can pay the other half in April. She can even use a credit card to pay it. Honestly, I did not think $68 was too much too ask.

Then I tell her that my nephew (who is a junior groomsman) will need a tux and it will cost between $80-$130, but she does not need to get that for a few months yet. That really set her off! She asked me why he needs a tux when he is not even in the wedding. What the heck!!!!!!!!!!! I asked her a whole year ago if he could be a junior groomsman and she said yes. Now she is claiming she did not realize he would be walking down the aisle. Give me a break!

She is now responsible for my shower and bachelorette party, which I am sure will not happen if she is in charge. I am seriously thinking about planning and paying for it myself and just inviting my friends to come along.

She had me so upset I just started bawling. This is my sister. She is supposed to be happy for me and supportive. I understand she is not happy in her own life, but that does not give her the right to ruin my wedding!!!

To top everything, she asks me why we have to get the dresses so early and I tell her that is what the store told me. My wedding is in June which is right during wedding and prom season, so everything takes longer. Then she yells at me for having my wedding in June and tells me I should have considered that the dresses had to be ordered in December and that was incovenient for everyone.

I felt like saying, 'It is my wedding and I will have it whenever I want!'

To make matters worse if her boyfriend proposes soon (which he might) there is a chance she will decide to have her wedding either before mine or the same month. She has balls! I talked to my mom about it and she does not see anything wrong with that. She does not see that she is doing it to be downright spiteful and to take the attention away from me.

Well, I was engaged before and the guy dumped me and we had to cancel everything and I was completely humiliated. You would think my own family would be happy for me instead of trying to sabotage my special day!!!!!!!!!!!

I am at the point where I am ready to say forget all the bridesmaids. If I have nobody, oh well. I am sick of worrying about it.

I am sorry that you are having such a hard time with your sister----I have 5 BMs and sometimes I feel like it would be easier to have none
I guess if she is giving you such a had time, then if you do not want her in your party, you do not have to have her. It is your day, do what will make you happy in the end.

I'm so sorry you had/have to go through all this crap! . It doesn't make sense why majority of the bridal party is acting weird. like you said everyone had enough time and now they are complaining about money. Your MOH of all people is suposse to be your right hand man not trying to get over on you. Hope everything gets better.

ETA: do what you think is right, it all comes down to it being your day and no one elses.

Yeah, thanks! I think I might just be like, 'If you get the dress in time, I will consider you still in the wedding, but if not., I guess your not in it.' She seems to want out anyway and I do not feel like dealing with her drama on my wedding day. If she is going to act like that, I won't have her in the wedding at all. Of course, she better not expect me to even show up at her wedding!!!!!!!!!!! She is causing a serious rift in our family. She'll be lucky if I ever talk to her again after this. I think I will ask the only bridesmaid that I definitely know is going to participate to be my new MOH.

I talked to my FH last night about it and he said I should not worry. If everyone drops out, we are still getting married and it is still my dream wedding. The guests are just there to share in it, but they are not essential for me to have a happy day. It would be nice if someone showed up though, esp. since we are paying for 100 guests.

I'm so sorry you're going through this! I'm so surprised that your BMs and MOH are treating you like this.

Honestly, I wouldn't worry about it. If they're acting like this, I think you're better off without them in your bridal party.

I hope everything gets better! Good luck!

I am gettinga little nervous about my lil sister too....she is also my MOH and sometimes just a pain in the a#$.

Sometime family can cause more stress during the wedding than you friends...crazy....

I'm sorry.... hugs

I'm sorry you are going through this. . .I'm sure it will all work out in the end!! This should be about you and your FH, not everyone else!

Thanks all! My sister seems to think she can just get sized and order her dress whenever she wants. I had to explain to her that if she orders her dress late, everyone else's dress will be late too cause they need to come from the same dye lot. She just does not get it!

If she does not get the dress in time, I refuse to pay for it. I will simply order the dresses without hers and kick her out of the wedding.

Funny thing is, if she were not so mean to me, I would have probably offered to buy the dress for her (even though I really cannot afford it either).

Don't these people realize that we are spending money on them as well as them spending it on us? I mean it will cost me $250 just for my sister, her son, and her boyfriend to eat at my reception. It will cost $75 minimum for their rehearsal dinner meals. Not to mention the $25 admission for the bridesmaid tea I paid for and the gift I was going to get her. And to think she can't even spend $128 for a bridesmaid dress. Pitiful!

It's really hard to deal with people you think should have been there for you, but are acting completely weird.
I hope everything works out in the end.

wow im really sorry you are goin through this i dont even know what to say...but im sorry!

Sorry you have to go through all of this. Sometimes you see people's true colors come out in times like this. Don't let it ruin your day. Just remember the day is about sharing your love and life with your FH. All the other stuff is meaningless. Sometimes we get side tracked with all the drama and forget what its really all about.

Your FH is right. If everyone wants to drop out let them. Remember its you and him saying the vows. No one else. So enjoy this time and the time with the people who truly love you!

i am so sorry that this is happening to you. it sounds like your sis doesn't want to be a part of it. i would probably replace them all(the wierd acting ones)

hope it all works out

Wow I feel your pain I am kinda in the same boat in a sense that I had one BM drop out bc of financial reasons and one that is pregnant and one that is OOT and having issues of her own.

It will work out for what is best. I'd either look to replace the BM that you lost if you can and your MoH (or co-MoH).

My best advice is to do what you want.. in the end it's your day.

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is so nervey. I cannot believe how ridiculous some people are!! It is an honor to be in a bridal party, not an obligation.

I am so sorry you are going through this! I hope things get better for you soon!!

Wow! I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this the people I have around me aren't that reliable, so before I even got in engaged, I mentally prepared myself to do everything and not to expect much from them...and it's working, because when they don't do something, i'm not disappointed, and when they actually do, i'm pleasantly surprised....that's really the best thing you could do in this situation..