serious vent session!!!

Okay heres a recap before I tell you my issue.

A few weeks ago FH and I had a little party. A few family members, friends and wedding party attended. The BM/FH's Brother came and for whatever reason, him and I don't get along.

Throughout the night BM went around the house and made degrating/disrespectful comments to just about everyone that was here. At one point I asked him to stop and if he couldn't then to please leave he then proceeded to have it out with me but thats besides the point.
The next day FH and I had a conversation about the night and I told him that he was really going to have to do something b/c we couldn't have him coming over here treating people like that, besides how he treats me.

So here goes the story...

Last night FH met with BM and asked him what happened that night. Right off the bat BM started to rip me apart. He told FH that he didn't know what he was marrying me, he couldn't see why he would want to marry me. So FH said that he didn't feel he was being the BM for the right reasons. BM's response was that he was the BM b/c he loves FH and that he would never love or even like me and he'll be at the wedding for FH and certainly not me. FH told him if he didn't feel like he could be the BM for the right reasons and be there to support our marriage that he didn't have to be the BM. So BM said he would rather just be a GM. FH said he understood and that was fine. EX-BM now GM then asked FH if his wife was in the bridal party. So FH told him no. GM then said that he didn't want to be in the party at all he would rather just sit with his wife and kids and not be away from them all day. FH interjected and told him that kids were not invited. Now EX-BM/GM completely Flips out. 'Whose wedding is this, yours or hers, this isn't how you were raised how could you not have kids there, this is B***S***, When you grow a pair of ***** you can call me, I'm not going to your wedding!'

FH is hurt and angry. Which I completely understand. He wants to call his brother and find out what his problem is. I said just ignore him and let him eat his own words. This is what he decided. He will regret this decision later, but he will learn that there are consequences to the things that you say to people. I told him we will send him an invite and leave it on him if he wants to come or not.


I know its complicated, any one have advice?

Thanks and Sorry for the vent!!

Sorry I can't give you much advise but I think FH should definately talk to his brother

You do not want to be the reason for hard feeling and is brother not showing up at the wedding..Yes his brother is a grown man and can make his own choices but sometimes you have to be the bigger person

Weddings are a once in a lifetime event between two people and you don't want FH to regret not talking with his brother about the issue.



Keep us updated

Sorry you are going through this drama with FBIL.

This is what I would do if I was in your shoes...

I would leave him alone for a few weeks. You have little over a year, so a few weeks or months will do your FBIL some good. Hopefully he was just speaking out of anger, and didn't mean what he said. I would then have your FH send him a quick email, or call him and explain that you didn't plan on having any children in attendance (if that's the case). You didn't mean to offend him, but it's for a financial reasons, and you hope he understands. As for you and FBIL's relationship, try to be the better person and extend an olive branch. You love your FH, and you should atleast try to remain some-what civil to the people he loves and cares for. Believe me I know how hard this is going to be- I am going through the same situation with my FH and his side of his family. In the end, it takes off so much extra stress that your FH has, and he will be so thankful.

I hope this helps, and things get better.

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Posted by Im getting Married

Sorry I can't give you much advise but I think FH should definately talk to his brother

You do not want to be the reason for hard feeling and is brother not showing up at the wedding..Yes his brother is a grown man and can make his own choices but sometimes you have to be the bigger person

Weddings are a once in a lifetime event between two people and you don't want FH to regret not talking with his brother about the issue.



Keep us updated

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ITA. Sorry you are going through this I hope everything works out for the best.

ITA2 and i am also sorry your going through this

My aunt went crazy when i told her we weren't having any kids except the two FG who are 8 in the BP

Thanks ladies we're going to let the frustrations settle a little and then FH is going to try and talk to him again. FH has decided he really doesn't want him in the WP though if those are his true feeling about our marraige. awkward way to start things off...

I'm so sorry you're going through this!

I think it's a good idea to leave FBIL alone for a bit because when people speak when they're angry things can get ugly. I do think your FH should call FBIL though, because no matter what it is his brother. I hope everyone reconciles soon!!!