We invited 209 people and originally I was worried we were going to have too many!! a LOT of surprise no's came back The rsvp date was sept 1 and we are missing a ton, but we only have 88 yes's and already have 47 no's.
i know many people who dont plan on coming don't bother responding and there are a lot of people left that I know won't come. So Counting the very few people that I still *think* will say yes (but who knows, considering FH's own godmother/aunt and uncle aren't coming!) we will barely have over 100 and we have a minimum of 150. It ***** we have to pay for 150 and I am really upset that I feel like nobody is going to be there and the room is going to look empty
glenisland09
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Re: seriously bummed about responses :(
Have you followed up with people who haven't responded? There are a ton of absent minded people who just forget to throw the rsvp envelope in the mail but have every intention of coming.
If you find out that you really can't make the minimum talk to your banquet manager about either dropping the minimum or throwing in extras. I've read a few brides who added a ton to their wedding so the money wasn't just going towards nothing.
Things have a funny way of working out... try and stay calm and we'll all be crossing our fingers that some more YES rsvps come your way!!!
Junebride2010
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Re: seriously bummed about responses :(
Sorry for Crashing--
Sorry that you are going thru this. Firstly I would contact your RH and ask that they reduce the minimum. Maybe they will. If not ask them to throw some extras in.
As far as the room looking empty--I went to a wedding there for my cousin and she had 118 people and it didnt look empty at all. You have nothing to worry about! The important thing is that the people you love are there!
JamDancer
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Re: seriously bummed about responses :(
thanks- i think i'm already going to put less people at each table to hopefully make some extra tables.
I gave people a few extra days to respond, some have been trickling in..... but yea this week we are going to try to track down everyone.... hopefully we will have some surprise yes's at the end....
Alex827
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Re: seriously bummed about responses :(
The same thing happened to me. I invited like 230 and only had 137 say yes. And then 7 people who said yes did not show up....which ******. But I had to track down like 60 invites as well who never rsvped. And surprisingly like half of those people did say yes.
MirabellaNYC
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Re: seriously bummed about responses :(
We're still waiting on responses for almost 60 people and our RSVP due date was this past Tuesday
FutureMrsM
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Re: seriously bummed about responses :(
Posted by JamDancer
thanks- i think i'm already going to put less people at each table to hopefully make some extra tables.
I gave people a few extra days to respond, some have been trickling in..... but yea this week we are going to try to track down everyone.... hopefully we will have some surprise yes's at the end....
My RSVP date was two days after yours and I would say, don't stress, what you need to do is start calling people, I could not believe how many people that ARE coming didn't send back the response card, I got responses like, 'I'm your insert one (father,brother, cousin, bff, uncle, etc) do I really need to send this back?' Seriously, people just assume that you know they are coming because of the relationship you have (or they THINK you have, lol). Don't stress or get upset, start putting Mom, Dad, FMIL, FFIL to work on the phone and start calling anyone who hasn't sent it back, I will bet that you will meet your 150. Keep your head up, even if you don't you will still have a fabulous day, sure it su*cks to have to pay for people if their not there, but don't worry
emeraldlover
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Re: seriously bummed about responses :(
I totally know how you feel. We invited 211 and when our response date was here we only had 115 yes's our final count is 134 and we thought we were going to be way over 150. You may not make the one 150 mark but my guess is you'll probably be between 130 - and 140. Had I known this we would have invited more people.
Gracie821
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Re: seriously bummed about responses :(
We had the same issue, and I was concerned about the room looking empty as well. We put less people at the tables and sunset harbour spaced the tables out so it did not look empty. I was more hurt by the amount of people that had rsvped no, but in the end, and I'm sure you have heard this already, but in the end the people that matter most will be there, and you will not even think about the people that are not there. We invited 165 and our total count the day of was 111. We had to pay the difference for our minimum, but in the end we had a wonderful wedding and I can say it was the best day of my life so far! Sorry this is so long, and I hope it helps you a little bit!
lizzzie35
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Re: seriously bummed about responses :(
I had the same problem. We invited 203 and ended up with 148 (my min. is 150). We invited some stragglers and made it up to 152 and then had 4 cancellations this week. I was missing a bunch of rsvps and when we contacted them, some said they mailed it awhile ago and some even said that it was returned to them as undeliverable. I think a big problem with missing rsvps is the USPS!!
LIVineBride09
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Re: seriously bummed about responses :(
Oh no-- it seems that a lot of people are going through this now-a-days... you will still have a perfect day and the people who aren't coming will just miss out on all the fun!! Def. call the RH-- I mentioned last week that we may not meet our minimum (we're waiting on about 20 people) so he said that he'll work with us... plus, don't forget yourselves and your vendors!!!
LadyDuda81509
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Re: seriously bummed about responses :(
i know how you feel i went thru the same thing! dont worry people are just slackers! even the people who do plan on attending dont respond right away either! hunt them down!! and ask more people to go, some people will go and be honored to be invited even if its a last min invite
FutureMrsM
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Re: seriously bummed about responses :(
Posted by lizzzie35
I had the same problem. We invited 203 and ended up with 148 (my min. is 150). We invited some stragglers and made it up to 152 and then had 4 cancellations this week. I was missing a bunch of rsvps and when we contacted them, some said they mailed it awhile ago and some even said that it was returned to them as undeliverable. I think a big problem with missing rsvps is the USPS!!
OMG I thought I was the only one! USPS lost at least half a dozen of our RSVP's!
Dora810
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Re: seriously bummed about responses :(
I'm having the same problem. 128 people sent back the RSVP card, another 19 verbally told me they are coming... which I dont understand why they just cant send back the RSVP card! It has a stamp on it and everything! I'm keeping track of all the slackers so I can pay them back when its their turn!
I still have 28 invites (about 2 people per invite) with no response. My minimum was 175 and at this point ill be happy if I make it including the 11 children and 7 vendors...which means I just need 10 more people!
I started to make some calls but I think some people are away on vacation, so I hope after Labor day I get at least 10 yes'!
If not I hope my hall can help me out
JamDancer
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Re: seriously bummed about responses :(
we want to invite a b list but the date on the rsvp says sept 1.... so I don't know how to go about this!! It really looks like we are going to end up with less than 110 ppl. :(
My parents and FH and I are seriously pissed off at some people who arn't coming.... what is their excuse?? seriously??
FH's own GODMOTHER/AUNT and UNCLE said no.... ***.
Tomlaur0808
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Re: seriously bummed about responses :(
We went through this. We invited 187 and 130 came. Most of the no's were family (surprisingly...although we didnt invite many friends to begin w/ b/c my mom's side of the family is very large.) But given the economy at this point - a lot of people could not afford the travelling expense, the expense of a hotel to stay at, plus the expense of giving a wedding gift. There were a few that couldn't make it b/c of last minute emergencies (a cousin went early w/her pregnancy, anothe cousin's FBIL died in a freak construction acccident overseas a week before the wedding, and another cousin fell & broke her wrist bicycle riding the day before the wedding) - so it was disappointing not to have everyone we had invited there, but we were already prepared in advance that the general rule of thumb w/invites is that between 30-35 ppl of whom you invite will not come...but with this economy & rapid loss of jobs, it seems to be a lot higher than the norm.
It does stink having to track down the non-responders only to find out 'no' they're not coming. I have no idea what has happened to common & decent courtesy, but never in my life have I or DH received an invite & just not responded if we were or weren't coming...it's just plain rude & obnoxious. People dont realize that you have to give a head count - & just by them not responding that doesnt release them from telling you 'no.' This is a HUGE pet peeve of mine...not just for weddings but for any kind of party, but ESP weddings!
I wish you luck - you still have a little time & our catering hall let us give the final count a week before plus they gave us 2 meals back for the cousin whose FBIL died 4 days before the wedding, btu after that point - we were stuck I think for 4 meals (my mom took them home & enjoyed them w/my dad for the next 2 nights...lol) So you still may get some more yes's in the meantime. Best of luck 2 u & Congrats!
FutureJOC
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Re: seriously bummed about responses :(
Sorry to hear you're so far under... I wouldn't definitely follow up with those who haven't responded yet and then if you are still way under and you haven't already tackled your B List I say start inviting people off of that... maybe invite some co-workers who you may not have thought to do before.
lizzzie35
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Re: seriously bummed about responses :(
Posted by JamDancer
we want to invite a b list but the date on the rsvp says sept 1.... so I don't know how to go about this!! It really looks like we are going to end up with less than 110 ppl. :(
We invited a bunch of people after the RSVP date. We did this either verbally or via email by basically saying we're sorry but we forgot to send you an invite, hope you can make it. We added 8 more people with under 2 weeks to go! 2 of those people we sent an email on Sept. 4th and our wedding is Sept. 12th. They said they will happily attend! I'm not happy we had to take this route since I really thought more people would say yes and I'm not expecting anything from them but it doesn't hurt to try.
Dora810
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Re: seriously bummed about responses :(
I just got 2 RSVP's today both said yes (3 people) and my RSVP date was 8/27...so I guess we can all still have hope!
AdriandSteve
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Re: seriously bummed about responses :(
Sorry to hear about this but give it a few more days. With a RSVP date of Sept 1st people might have forgotten considering the holiday, long weekend, and all the kids going back to school.
