Should and out of state cousin that you're close with be invited to the shower?

AllJoy Posted: Sep 22, 2006 07:13 PM

Should and out of state cousin that you're close with be invited to the shower?

Even though my wedding is 11 months away, my MOH wants a shower list soon. I have a cousin that I'm close with when we see each other. She lives in Florida. She will be coming to the wedding. Should she get a shower invitation? Her mom (my aunt) lives in N.Y. and will be getting an invitation. Keep in mind that this cousin is not rich and is not one to fly to N.Y. just for the heck of it. I don't want my cousin to think that she's just getting an invite to send a gift, but then if she doesn't get an invite, she may feel left out.

HelenZ Posted: Sep 22, 2006 07:16 PM

Re: Should and out of state cousin that you're close with be invited to the shower?

I would have your MOH send her an invite....then if I were you I would give her a call and tell her she doesn't have to feel obligated to come if money's tight....but you wanted to give her the courtesy of inviting her and letting her decide.

SeptBride70 Posted: Sep 22, 2006 07:31 PM

Re: Should and out of state cousin that you're close with be invited to the shower?

Posted by HelenZ

I would have your MOH send her an invite....then if I were you I would give her a call and tell her she doesn't have to feel obligated to come if money's tight....but you wanted to give her the courtesy of inviting her and letting her decide.

exactly! well said

it's def nice to extend the thought b/c then it shows that she is important enough to be invited-- but then to let her know that it's not in order to get a gift or to make her feel obligated-- it's more b/c you want her to know that she is special

libby2595 Posted: Sep 22, 2006 08:41 PM

Re: Should and out of state cousin that you're close with be invited to the shower?

Posted by HelenZ

I would have your MOH send her an invite....then if I were you I would give her a call and tell her she doesn't have to feel obligated to come if money's tight....but you wanted to give her the courtesy of inviting her and letting her decide.

that is what i did. if you're close, she'll already know that she is not obligated to do anything, but you'd like her to have an invite.

i invited my grandmother, who lives in another country.

give her the option. you'll be glad you did

Trishthedish Posted: Sep 22, 2006 08:43 PM

Re: Should and out of state cousin that you're close with be invited to the shower?

Posted by HelenZ

I would have your MOH send her an invite....then if I were you I would give her a call and tell her she doesn't have to feel obligated to come if money's tight....but you wanted to give her the courtesy of inviting her and letting her decide.

I agree.

AllJoy Posted: Sep 22, 2006 10:00 PM

Re: Should and out of state cousin that you're close with be invited to the shower?

Thanks everyone!~~~~~~~~~

waterspout4 Posted: Sep 22, 2006 11:38 PM

Re: Should and out of state cousin that you're close with be invited to the shower?

All my invitations went to people OOT, since I don't have any family on LI. Leave the choice to them. Have fun!!!

LBride Posted: Sep 23, 2006 08:52 AM

Re: Should and out of state cousin that you're close with be invited to the shower?

I think you should def send it and let her make the decision on whether or not to come

Tracyann1976 Posted: Sep 23, 2006 08:53 AM

Re: Should and out of state cousin that you're close with be invited to the shower?

I invited my out of state cousin, but not his. Mine came up for the shower. I think that was because it was the summer.

NovemberBride06 Posted: Sep 23, 2006 09:43 AM

Re: Should and out of state cousin that you're close with be invited to the shower?

My out of state cousins were invited. I think it's the thought that counts. Whoever you are close with should be invited.

CLMon7906 Posted: Sep 23, 2006 09:54 AM

Re: Should and out of state cousin that you're close with be invited to the shower?

Invite her anyway and maybe let it slip politely to her mom/your aunt that you want her to feel invited and welcome because you would love her to be there but that you realize in advance that she might not be able to attend since she'll have to travel up for the wedding shortly after and that you understand if she doesn't make it, but that if you hadn't invited her that you were afraid she'd feel left out. Maybe let the MOH tell her or something...but it will work.

dinedaaka Posted: Sep 23, 2006 11:10 AM

Re: Should and out of state cousin that you're close with be invited to the shower?

I didn't invite my first cousins from Cambridge, Massachusetts to my shower because I did not want them to feel obligated to incur the additional expense. One of them did question the lack of an invite and I explained the reason which she understood, but to avoid any misconceptions maybe you should just send the invitation.

kimnsteve Posted: Sep 23, 2006 11:11 AM

Re: Should and out of state cousin that you're close with be invited to the shower?

a lot of my cousins are out of state ...philly, florida, mass, i am inviting them b/c you do not want anyones feelings hurt...you never know they might be looking forward to going

LandsEnd06 Posted: Sep 23, 2006 11:47 AM

Re: Should and out of state cousin that you're close with be invited to the shower?

Send the invite. I had an aunt and two cousins that came to my shower from out of state.

JIFFY Posted: Sep 23, 2006 12:26 PM

Re: Should and out of state cousin that you're close with be invited to the shower?

Yeah Joyce, I have to agree with everyone else. Invite her. It is her decision if she wants to come or not and you can call her to let her know she is not obligated to come or send a gift if she can't afford it.