Should I be mad at him....

btrflygrl Posted: Apr 05, 2004 10:14 AM

Should I be mad at him....

Last night, DH friends' came over, played some old school video games and because we essentially live in one big room...I had to go to sleep...so they went back to one guys' house and DH said he wouldn't be out too too late since he was opening his store.....SOOOO...2 am rolls around...and he waltzes in at 2:15am!! I knew where he was...they weren't doing anything but playing video games....but he moaned and groaned all day how tired he was...and all of a sudden after a nap....UH!

should I be mad that he waltzed in so late?? (and yes, he forgot his cell phone....)

BMD'sPeanut Posted: Apr 05, 2004 10:16 AM

Re: Should I be mad at him....

these things are going to happen...

i say choose your battles...

OctGroom Posted: Apr 05, 2004 10:20 AM

Re: Should I be mad at him....

nah... temporary annoyance. not worth it.

btrflygrl Posted: Apr 05, 2004 10:24 AM

Re: Should I be mad at him....

should I at least voice my distaste for it???

prncssrachel Posted: Apr 05, 2004 10:28 AM

Re: Should I be mad at him....

If he does it again, then I would say something, but I think being tired is his price to pay for this one. I agree about picking your battles. There might be a time when you want to go out with your girlfriends, and I'm sure you wouldn't want to hear about it if you came home late. Also, he only left because you wanted to go to sleep. (not that you are to blame, but he was at your place first, so it's not like he planned on being out late.) Men lose all track of time when they play video games, anyway

TwoBugs Posted: Apr 05, 2004 10:28 AM

Re: Should I be mad at him....

Honestly, it's not worth it. But it IS annoying that he complains about how tired he is when he was the one that chose to stay out late. When my FH does that, I don't get mad, but I make sure that I do stuff around the house VERY LOUDLY while he is taking a nap.

Jan05Bride Posted: Apr 05, 2004 10:29 AM

Re: Should I be mad at him....

But you were going to bed. Would it have been better to call and wake you up? That's OK, but he should know that it's OK to wake you up then. And what's bothering you, that he stayed out too late or that he didn't have his phone?
You can mentioned some things you would like to happen next time to him, but I don't think you should 'NAG' him at all - it'll make it worse.

ThongLori Posted: Apr 05, 2004 10:30 AM

Re: Should I be mad at him....

i have reacted 2 ways in a situation like this.

I have done:

[b]A. Be a compete b!tch about it.[/b]
I wind up being even madder than before, because I keep thinking about it and fuel the internal fire even more!!!! Not worth it AT ALL.

[b]B. Confront in a non-confrontational way. [/b]
IF FH does something that pisses me off, I just say, 'You know, next time give me a heads up that you'll be out late, ok? I was worrying about you.' And then you're done!! No fire to put out, no yelling, no one is mad anymore. It's over!

Trust me, its not worth it to get stressed and mad over something this minor!!!! If anything, it will just give you a pimple.

september2004 Posted: Apr 05, 2004 10:30 AM

Re: Should I be mad at him....

Posted by btrflygrl

should I at least voice my distaste for it???

when FH does annoying things i roll my eyes and make fun of him, eventually he gets the point... i pick and choose my battles, i would let this slide for now...

lullabella Posted: Apr 05, 2004 10:30 AM

Re: Should I be mad at him....

I am not sure~~ why would you be mad at him?

Edt: Ok I missed the last line. I would say NO~ unless he has a curfew?????

FeliciaDA Posted: Apr 05, 2004 10:33 AM

Re: Should I be mad at him....

Posted by TwoBugs

Honestly, it's not worth it. But it IS annoying that he complains about how tired he is when he was the one that chose to stay out late. When my FH does that, I don't get mad, but I make sure that I do stuff around the house VERY LOUDLY while he is taking a nap.

LOL .. I thought I was the only one who conveniently 'banged' things around the house while he 'napped' (after staying out too late with the boys, etc.)

While I would be as annoyed as you are , I say just try to let it go .. I had a similar weekend this past weekend where FH was just into his games and internet and was TIRED to do anything else but nap and sleep .. and by last night I was ABOUT to let him have it, but just decided to let it go. NOT Easy, though

violet Posted: Apr 05, 2004 10:35 AM

Re: Should I be mad at him....

If he doesn't do it a lot, I wouldn't be pissed.

Xelindrya Posted: Apr 05, 2004 10:38 AM

Re: Should I be mad at him....

I think it’s all up to what you feel it will accomplish. If you think saying something will have the result you want. Otherwise I agree with the idea of ‘choosing your battles’.

Leaving the cell phone behind would have bothered me more than being out late.

Maybe it’s just me. I have friends and could easily leave him behind when I go to my car show stuff. I happen to bring him with me. It’s not like I bring him along cause I have to or feel I need to. We have to have time apart to do our own things to be our own people. Gotta have ‘space’.

I think life is too short and anger takes up too much time to really be worth it. But if it REALLY means that much to you and your really think saying something will make him change, then go for it. Just put it out there plain and simple try not to be emotional about it.

Remember once something its spoken it can never be taken back regardless of how much you say “I’m Sorry”.

JMHO

bedda26 Posted: Apr 05, 2004 10:42 AM

Re: Should I be mad at him....

If this is something he makes a habit of doing then yes I would get mad but if he doesnt do it too often then I wouldnt get mad. you can get a little annoyed but nothing major.

BMD'sPeanut Posted: Apr 05, 2004 10:43 AM

Re: Should I be mad at him....

Note: You can't really ask: 'Should' I be mad at him? You either are or you aren't.
Feelings are just feelings.
They pass.
How you deal with things while you're feeling that way is really the question.

OctGroom Posted: Apr 05, 2004 10:50 AM

Re: Should I be mad at him....

if you say something.. you get madder than you are now.. then he might be 'waiting' til a time when you're out with the girls and get home later than you said.. especially if you forget to call.

men as well as women lose track of time.

if this is his biggest 'bug-a-boo', then that's pretty darn good. other guys can potemtially be MUCH worse.

let it go.. and have a happy monday!

diamondgrlie Posted: Apr 05, 2004 11:34 AM

Re: Should I be mad at him....

I would be annoyed and probably do a little b****ing but in a joking way to let him know I am mad but not enough to start a fight.

ChristineC68 Posted: Apr 05, 2004 11:38 AM

Re: Should I be mad at him....

I have been guilty of doing the same thing - losing track of time - and it really didn't help to have DH biching at me about it.

I do understand that he worries and I am sensitive to that and I am better about letting him know if I am going to be much later then expected. And he is much better about not getting upset about it.

Maybe mention it when you are not emotional about the situation if it will make you feel better.

RedHead Posted: Apr 05, 2004 12:18 PM

Re: Should I be mad at him....

Posted by BMD'sPeanut

these things are going to happen...

i say choose your battles...

ditto

don424 Posted: Apr 05, 2004 12:27 PM

Re: Should I be mad at him....

Posted by OctGroom

if you say something.. you get madder than you are now.. then he might be 'waiting' til a time when you're out with the girls and get home later than you said.. especially if you forget to call.

men as well as women lose track of time.

if this is his biggest 'bug-a-boo', then that's pretty darn good. other guys can potemtially be MUCH worse.

let it go.. and have a happy monday!

I agree, let it go, we men have no concept of time, never have, never will -- it's best to learn to accept it. Just like we have learned to accept the fact that you can spend up to 20 minutes in the bathroom.