Should I be scared-I really need advice re my engagement ring
Original post by purplereign
FH proposed and I should be over the moon, but there is something that is bothering me greatly and maybe it shouldn't maybe I am being a petty little thing, but here it is-he didn't pick out the ring, his mother did and I am worried that it is a sign of things to come, that she will be TOO involved with our lives.
FH could tell I didn't like the ring. I asked him why he didn't pick it out himself and he said he wanted a second opinion. He then asked if I would like another ring and I told him yes, that I would like it if it came just from him and if he liked, we could pick it out together. We did so, but his mother doesn't know yet.
I told my mom and my sisters about the first ring and my mother and they all were alarmed. My mother confirmed what I thought-that this was not a good thing and it did seem that FMIL has a controlling streak and may want to run the show.
Please, what do you guys think?
bettybcafe
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Re: Should I be scared-I really need advice re my engagement ring
Posted by MattandTricia07
I don't know your FH or his relationship with his mother, but maybe he did really want a second opinion. It could be harmless, but then again, I don't know him or her.
If you are unhappy with the ring no matter who he got a 2nd opinion from, then I would get a new setting.
Good luck!
I agree. Its hard to say because we dont know ur FH and his relationship with his mother. But it may be harmless...maybe he honestly just wanted a second opinion...or maybe it is a sign..hard to say...
luvabul
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Re: Should I be scared-I really need advice re my engagement ring
i totaally agree, just cuz she picked out your [her future daughter in laws] ring does not mean ANYTHING... FH could have been nervous and wanted a woman's opinion on it...if you dont like it change it- and he's already agreed to that....
we dont know how you FH is, and we dont know what kind of relationship you have with FMIL... so its kind of hard to say...
but anyways its up to you...to find a pattern is she controlling in other areas...dont confuse control and ENTHUSIASM....thats one of the worse things u can do...if FMIL is genuinely happy for you twoo and very excited about the wedding thats awesome! and you should appreciate that, because not everyone has a great relationship with their inlaws...
anyways good luck...dont be scared...and update us
LBride
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Re: Should I be scared-I really need advice re my engagement ring
my girlfriends, my sister andSIL all helped my DH......
alymikewedding08
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Re: Should I be scared-I really need advice re my engagement ring
I dunno.. I wouldn't really want to wear it.. if you don't like the style get a different one.. and it would especially rub me the wrong way about her picking it out... I just kinda feel like my fmil is kinda pushy sometimes too.. and it totally turns me off.. so something big like my engagement ring.. coming from her taste.. would bug me.. maybe it's petty.. but I don't care thats how I feel..
znycgirl
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Re: Should I be scared-I really need advice re my engagement ring
How long have you been dating this guy? If this is an isolated incident, it's OK.
On the positive: She likes you, she wasn't being malignant, and unless you picked out out yourself and cut him out a picture: it is a grab-bag and he doesn't know who will pick the ring that you'd like (watch sex in the city) I knew a girl whose FMIL designed the ring. That's really special.
On the neg: if this is really just the straw that breaks the camel's back and she wants the both of you to live with her (and if you don't want to...this can be a good thing), you need to eval if this is an important issue for you. People don't change easily.
