Should I be upset????

I would definitely not be upset that she couldn't be there. If I were her, I would at least send a gift for all events invited to. I would also do my best to make contributions to the events that I would have sponsored as a bridal party member. Perhaps not quite as much as if I were actually there, but to me, it is just the right thing to do.

When my sister in law had her shower, (brother's second marriage) she had only two adult attendants that were her closest friends. (My sisters and I were actually relieved and not offended because we were all fat at the time and didn't want to wear the dress she eventually picked out - but I digress) As her her future sisters-in-law, we decided to ask her bridal party if we could contribute to the shower by being responsible for favors and decorations to ease the financial burden on the two women. To us, it was the right thing to do.

I have 2 friends that will be far away.....my MOH to be exact....and she knows that she has responsibilities to me and everything....
she made it a point to tell me that she will be there...and be able to fly up....bc she knows shes important to me. :)

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Posted by curliegirl

Bridesmaids are supposed to fulfill all duties expected of them, not just what's convenient. That what most women don't realize when they accept the position. That said, it was very nice to ask your friend, however, she should have declined when she knew she wouldn't be doing anything except showing up at the wedding.
Now You have to consider your other bridesmaids. Not that they would say it, but is it fair to give them all the work and allow your out of state bridesmaid enjoy the praise too? That's not really right either.

Maybe you should revisit the situation in a week or so, and approach her again.

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wow sure wouldn't want to be in your bridal party
i expect my girls to do nothing but STAND by my side on my special day
why do people EXPECT things?