Should I be upset??

Jbriggs Posted: Dec 19, 2005 03:40 PM

Should I be upset??

I have been friends with my maid of honor long time. Anyway she just got engaged last week. I just found out she chose an aunt to be her maid of honor over me.. Should I be upset and or hurt? I mean I am still in the wedding.

How would you feel? I mean am i being over sensitive here?

STBH Posted: Dec 19, 2005 03:42 PM

Re: Should I be upset??

I wouldnt be hurt at all!!!!! maybe she sees this aunt like a second mother or something

PrincessRose Posted: Dec 19, 2005 03:44 PM

Re: Should I be upset??

I understand your being hurt - it always hurts to hear that you're not as important to someone as they are to you. I wouldn't let it bother you too long though - she's probably got a very good reason for choosing this aunt.

Mrs. Powell Posted: Dec 19, 2005 03:45 PM

Re: Should I be upset??

Posted by STBH

I wouldnt be hurt at all!!!!! maybe she sees this aunt like a second mother or something

I agree.

VS11 Posted: Dec 19, 2005 03:45 PM

Re: Should I be upset??

I wouldnt be upset..I love my BF and her and I were inseperatable when were single..BUT I am also VERY close with my cousin and I chose her as my Matron...It didnt change the way I feel about BF..so dont take it to heart..she didnt do it to make you feel less worthy.....

ali120206 Posted: Dec 19, 2005 03:45 PM

Re: Should I be upset??

Posted by PrincessRose

I understand your being hurt - it always hurts to hear that you're not as important to someone as they are to you. I wouldn't let it bother you too long though - she's probably got a very good reason for choosing this aunt.

Well put!

BernandRob Posted: Dec 19, 2005 03:48 PM

Re: Should I be upset??

I wouldn't be upset. Like other people said she probably has a good reason for choosen her aunt. Don't take it to heart. If you weren't in the BP at all then I would be upset.

jax2718 Posted: Dec 19, 2005 03:48 PM

Re: Should I be upset??

i would be really hurt!! are you a bridesmaid at least????

weddingbunny Posted: Dec 19, 2005 03:50 PM

Re: Should I be upset??

I think a lot of people feel that they should choose family over friends for that position... I wouldn't be too upset, but if it really does bother you, ask her in a friendly and non-confrontational way why she chose her aunt. I'm sure she has an explanation, and it might help you to feel better.

Katie&Chris2006 Posted: Dec 19, 2005 03:56 PM

Re: Should I be upset??

I would be upset, but I'd also be understanding of her choosing a family member. Maybe it is something they always talked about, ya know? I worry that sometimes my BF is sad that she is not my maid of honor, since I will be hers. But I know it would crush my sister if she wasn't it, or if I chose two for the role. If you'd feel better getting an explanation, I'd say ask her.

ChrissynRicky Posted: Dec 19, 2005 03:57 PM

Re: Should I be upset??

Posted by PrincessRose

I understand your being hurt - it always hurts to hear that you're not as important to someone as they are to you. I wouldn't let it bother you too long though - she's probably got a very good reason for choosing this aunt.

Great advice.

Jbriggs Posted: Dec 19, 2005 03:58 PM

Re: Should I be upset??

Thank you so much ladies. You guys always make me feel sooooooooo much better.

idovig Posted: Dec 19, 2005 04:01 PM

Re: Should I be upset??

i wouldn't be actually because maybe they have a special bond.

hsacks23r Posted: Dec 19, 2005 04:12 PM

Re: Should I be upset??

less for you to deal with..maybe that is what she was thinking she did not want to put all the resposiblity on you knowing you are stressing your self about your own wedding

wematched Posted: Dec 19, 2005 04:12 PM

Re: Should I be upset??

I've been a MOH three times. None of those brides are my MOH. My sister is. This doesn't change how I feel about them.

EmberLynn Posted: Dec 19, 2005 04:13 PM

Re: Should I be upset??

I understand your feelings, but you have to understand that this isn't a favorite game, or that she owes you anything. She may have picked her aunt long before she met you. Be happy for her, try not to let t his bother you. I was hurt when my friend John didn't invite me to his wedding, and I talked to him about it. I understood that his wedding was hurried because of the baby and now his little daughter is one of my FGs!

americananddutch Posted: Dec 19, 2005 04:46 PM

Re: Should I be upset??

I so understand how you feel my best friend that I have known since before she was born ( I am three years older and I used to talk to her when her mom was pregnant with her) anyways....She asked her other best friend and her husbands sister to be her MH I was a little crushed by that but than I found out that she knew I was going to do all the roles and resposibilities that would have been theres...ya know making sure that the bridal suite is ready and knwoing where everyone and everything is and making sure that she (the bride) is happy with everything...all the stuff that makes sure her day went as smooth as possible. I can honestly say I did all that and I helped in many ways to make her day as special and beautiful as it was. Sometimes I think she asked them because she didn't want a fight to happen. I realized that it was about her and no matter where I stood in the bridal party she knew I was there and she knew that I was ready to do whatever she needed unlike some of the others.

littlebookworm4 Posted: Dec 19, 2005 04:46 PM

Re: Should I be upset??

I might be hurt if it was another friend but not family

Laura&Phil Posted: Dec 19, 2005 05:35 PM

Re: Should I be upset??

Don't be hurt, like others have said, it's nothing personal I'm sure. It might have been nice if she talked to you about it when she asked you to be a BM but some people aren't as good at talking.

I choose 2 MOH for that reason, I couldn't decide!! One of my BM that I have been friends with since Nursery school didn't even make me a BM....we are more like family- but not that close so I didn't expect MOH but I might have liked to be a BM. She never talked to me about it b/c I think she felt it was better to not address it-She choose her awesome BF as MOH, her sister and SIL as BM and little sis as Jr BM- I was later told by the MOH and sister (who I am also close with) that she really felt bad that she couldn't ask me but had to have her SIL.

In the end, I was just happy that I was considered and passed over for family- she didn't expect to be asked to be my BM b/c I wasn't hers- she was so happy that she teared up!

It's a very difficult thing and weddings get SO political! Don't worry!