I might need to lie on my invitations! Here's why:
My family is ALWAYS obnoxiously, ridiculously, rudely late to EVERYTHING. The mere thought of how late they will be to my wedding --considering all the money I'm paying -- makes my blood boil. Plus I need them to be ontime for the CH so I can do pics with them.
For my Engagement Party, I made two sets of invites. One for FHs family which had the actual start time of 8pm. The other set was for MY family and had 7pm as the start time.
Lo and behold, FHs family all showed up promptly at 8pm. Half of my family showed up (unknowningly on time) at 8pm. The other half showed up at 9pm!!!! One of the people that was 2 hours late (according to her invite) was my MOH!!! NOT ONE of my family members showed up BEFORE 8pm. How unbelievably RUDE is that?
Anyway, I was discussing this with one of my aunts and she was like -- 'oh, you really should put 2 hours earlier on the invites.' Easier said than done aunty-poo! She being one of the 9pmers.
That means I would have to order TWO sets of invitations which I can only imagine is going to make my invitations cost DOUBLE what I was planning to pay!! SO... I either have to bite the bullet and shell out for the two sets of invites OR be absolutely livid on my wedding day when my family waltzes in at 9pm to my 6:30pm wedding reception.
What would you do? Does anyone know if when I order my invites I can order half printed one way and half the other?
This is so stupid that I even have to consider this!
nan&dave
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Re: Should I LIE on my invitations??? (Kinda long)
Re: Should I LIE on my invitations??? (Kinda long)
Hmmmm when I read just the topic I was thinking no way! But after reading the whole situation, I have to say YES! My 7 yr old cousin is the RB and his mother is a late person by nature so I am telling her to be at my mom's by 12pm and the ceremony starts at 3pm.
Good luck! This is a tough one.
tourist
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Re: Should I LIE on my invitations??? (Kinda long)
I honestly don't now what to tell you. maybe send them the regular invitation, but send them a not close to thw wedding saying that family needs to be there early for pictures, so then maybe they'll be late for that, which will make them on time. I wouldn't spend the extra money to compensate for their rudeness.
kel2004
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Re: Should I LIE on my invitations??? (Kinda long)
Wow my blood is boiling reading this. That is so unbelievably rude!!! I think you should look into how much it would cost for separate invitations; it might be worth it. If it is too expensive, maybe you can talk to people beforehand and let them know how important it is to be on time. Good luck!
JimmysBride
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Re: Should I LIE on my invitations??? (Kinda long)
nan&dave FM back
neen
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Re: Should I LIE on my invitations??? (Kinda long)
Does your family know my FH's family?? I had the same problem--this is very common. I cannot understand how people can be sooooo late to such a special event. Anyway, where are you ordering your invites from? I would definitely ask. If they cannot do this I would select someone from your family to threaten (well, not really-no harm attached) your family with being there promptly. It sucks that you have to deal with this ontop of everything else.
I just told my FMIL to make sure that his family is there on time--she has already been putting out the word. I already had to lie to one of BM's (fh's sister) about what time to be at my house for the pictures-I lied by two hours.
Good luck and let us know what happens
skew
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Re: Should I LIE on my invitations??? (Kinda long)
No, you should not have to worry about this. Save yourself the aggrevation and list the correct time. Tell your parents to get the word out that the cermmony will start promptly at x o'clock.
It is one thing to show up 'fashionably' late for a casual party, but ABSOULTELY another to arrive late for a wedding ceremony. You could also speak to your family and tell them that it is extremely important to you that they are present (and on time) for this special day. They mean a lot to you and YOU would be extremely hurt and offended if they were late.
Xelindrya
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Re: Should I LIE on my invitations??? (Kinda long)
you poor thing, I feel for you. I am the ONLY member of my family who is punctual. I dont know where i got i.
Im lying on my mine but only by a half hour.
I would hope that a wedding is more important to them than the Engagement dinner or RD. To my family those things are just get togethers and dinner or practice runs and don't MEAN anything. Who cares? It's not rude for people to be late to those things (in my family's eyes) and only the closest members of the family have to be there early.
A wedding on the other hand..... It's rude to walk into a church while services are being held. Therefore it's better to BE there before they begin. So they (my family) figures you say 8am but you really mean 9am cause people ALWAYS mingle for a bit. Nothing actualy STARTS on time, right?! heh
So I am putting 11:30am on the invites. SInce most of my family is in the Bridal party they are expected to be there by 9am. IF not earlier. Guest are told to arrive at 11:30am and lets hope they get the clue.
It's not lying.. It's being sure. I wouldnt make two sets. I'd just make sure there was something (music, set up, anything) that the other family to see, hear or mingle while they wait for yours.
Good Luck!
ctmagoo
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Re: Should I LIE on my invitations??? (Kinda long)
I think separate invitations is the way to go and the cheapest way to do it would be to buy the invitations you print yourself (20 bucks for a box of 50 at Target) and send those to your family.
aug04bride
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Re: Should I LIE on my invitations??? (Kinda long)
Just wanted to tell you you are not alone. The last family wedding started 90 min late another about 3 hrs late. I've been adamant that I will not follow that pattern. Among other things it's a waste of money. Haven't decided how to handle it but I'm expecting the church to be empty
dkwife
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Re: Should I LIE on my invitations??? (Kinda long)
I have heard of people being late, but this is just ridiculous and the rudest thing I have heard.... If your family cannot be on time for your wedding...UGH!! I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell you, but if you have to lie, then lie!! Good luck
MrHostility
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Re: Should I LIE on my invitations??? (Kinda long)
Maybe have a talk with them...all them. How it means a great deal to you that they are on time for this one day of your life.
Tell them if they aren't, you will take them outback and shoot them.
nsgraham
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Re: Should I LIE on my invitations??? (Kinda long)
OMG, this is so like my family-
I had the opening to an OFF- BROADWAY play that I wrote. THE OPENING - I had won a national playwriting contest, there was press there, a BIG DAMN DEAL, and guess who comes in 15 minutes AFTER THE PLAY HAS STARTED???!!!!!
AND-
My friends had put together a really cool birthday party for me at Medival Times and Tournament. GUESS WHO SHOWS UP *AFTER* THE MEAL, which is about AN HOUR into the show? (This time they had gotten lost they said)
So my invites read 11am for a 11:40 ceremony, and I'm having the key people with me all day.
And this is BEFORE the Rabbi laughed at my invite start time and told me that 'In the history of our people, we have never started anything on time.'
Yes. Lie. Do whatever. People who are late are just people who are late. It's in their blood and I wouldn't depend on them to change for you. Tell them they have to be there 2 hours earlier for pictures. I wouldn't do seperate invites, but on the invites I would put a half hour early (that's mostly normal anyway).
It's really not about you, BTW. Is your family from another country? Because I've found that people from other places just don't see time the way that Americans do.
Nora101004
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Re: Should I LIE on my invitations??? (Kinda long)
My parents had 2 sets of invites. But that was before the price of invites was so high. I did receive and invite where it said, 'Promptly at 6' which I thought was rude.
wenndypoo
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Re: Should I LIE on my invitations??? (Kinda long)
I don't think that discussing anything with them is going to help. I'm sure they know already that it is important to be on time for these sorts of things. I don't think it's going to make any difference if you say anything to them.
If I were you, I'd find out exactly how much it would cost to have separate invites done. If it's not too much, I'd definitley go that route. It would be worth the extra money to me to have a little peace of mind.
I could see how this could make you insane!
Good luck!
anne_nyc
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Re: Should I LIE on my invitations??? (Kinda long)
We are having a 3:30 pm ceremony but putting 3 pm on the invites on the advice of the wedding coordinator. After reading this thread and am wondering if we should go even earlier. Nothing wrong with a little extra mingling time before the ceremony!
akanini
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Re: Should I LIE on my invitations??? (Kinda long)
Posted by anne_nyc
We are having a 3:30 pm ceremony but putting 3 pm on the invites on the advice of the wedding coordinator. After reading this thread and am wondering if we should go even earlier. Nothing wrong with a little extra mingling time before the ceremony!
My wedding is at 5pm.....I'm putting 4:30 on my invites.
Rainmama
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Re: Should I LIE on my invitations??? (Kinda long)
They sound like very inconsiderate people. I don't really have any advice but to wish you good luck!
bridzilla
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Re: Should I LIE on my invitations??? (Kinda long)
Maybe you can have a 2 separate ceremony cards (like the reception cards) that gives the ceremony and reception detail. One will have the right time, the other will have the early time. On your actual invite you write everything but the time. I may be cheaper to make double of those cards rather than the big invitation. Not sure if this is going to work, but this is the only idea I could come up with. Hope it helps. Let us know what you decide. I'm sure there are plenty of girls on this board with families like yours.
