Ok, so I am 24 and my brother is 39. My dad passed away in dec. so now its just my mom and i in the house together. I have always taken care of BOTH of my parents as they both had medical issues.
My brother who is 39 has only recenty started helping me wih mom in the last yr. (like babysitting her when I want to go on vactaion).
My bro is engaged (for the last 4 yrs). they have made no effort to get married on their own in terms of wedding planning. think they expect my mom to pay for it. My bro and his fw have been together since 1996.
So the dilemma: now that they know i am getting married and mommy is paying for the wedding they want one too! we can only afford one. my mom told them to go to the justice of the peace b/c they are older and honestly they really dont have many ppl to invite to a wedding--plus my mom gave them a downpayment for their house as a wedding gift (the wedding never happened).
Anyway, do YOU think I should let the share my spotlight at MY wedding and get married then and there.
Issues I see: -the ppl would be my friends and of course we have the same family members :) but they wouldn't realy get gifts b/c i would tell anyone it would just be a surprise after my ceremony.
-gosh, i dont want to be selfish but please give me suggestions how to handle this.
my mom says do whatever i want and she doesnt have an opinion.
btw- my bro mentioned it in a joking manner but i know he was serious.
HollyMac
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Re: Should I share the spotlight?
Don't let them steal the spotlight away from you! It is your day. You are very sweet to consider it but they have have over a decade to pick a date and now that you will have a special day they want to take it away from you.
No be firm. Have your wedding and enjoy. They can enjoy their house.
Jennie0898
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Re: Should I share the spotlight?
Plain and simple, NO.
I think that was INCREDIBLY rude of your brother to even suggest it.
mbg1007
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Re: Should I share the spotlight?
Absolutely not, they've been engaged for long enough and are old enough to figure it out on their own. Your wedding day is YOUR day and its not selfish to want to be the only bride there! I cant believe your brother and his fiance would want to take that away from you...are you sure he wasnt joking?
jaiese
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Re: Should I share the spotlight?
If you're even questioning it, you shouldn't do it. Maybe you don't have to be extravagant and spend all of your mom's wedding budget. It would help if she gave some guidance on that front though...
margaretk
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Re: Should I share the spotlight?
maybe this is just selfish of me, but if he really wanted a wedding, he would find a way to pay for it and not 2-for-1 it on your day... i hope i'm not being rude but I hate it when family members think they're entitled to stuff during your happy time.... JMO... hope this helps...
MrsJones2B
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Re: Should I share the spotlight?
Don't do it, you'll probably regret it forever, and I don’t think your FH will like the idea.
Don't do it, because it already sounds like your frustrated with the whole situation, imagine when its time to do the REAL planning, you'll be doing it all alone, but there is another bride waiting to walk down the aisle too?
Everything you've ever wanted on your wedding day to be shared with another bride, who wants to shine in your light??
Unless this was you twin sister . . . . I wouldn’t.
I'm sorry; I can't imagine someone even suggesting that to me.
Don’t do it..
Sorry for being so selfish.
Shell84
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Re: Should I share the spotlight?
They should do as your mother suggested: just go to court and get married. You have been planning 'your' wedding there's no need to share the spotlight with them. They waited for so long, it won't hurt to wait a little bit more and get married after you, if they really want a ceremony.
I think he was joking, because I don't think his fiance would want to share the spotlight anyways on her special day.
Valor06
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Re: Should I share the spotlight?
Wow. It is so sweet that you are even thinking about doing this. Maybe something could be planned into the rehearsal dinner? Although including them in your ceremony is such an unselfish and beautiful gesture if you have any doubts or feelings that it might bother you I wouldn't suggest it to your brother or you might regret including them later on.
Aug07OFCbride
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Re: Should I share the spotlight?
i think its incredibly sweet that youre even thinking to consider this as an option for your brother and his fw. but i dont think you need to take it on as your issue to solve. you are trying to plan your own wedding, it just seems out of place to incorp their ceremony w/ your guests now. unless you were to completely rethink and have a double wedding w/ his guests too, i cant see how this is really feasible.
GL w/ this. I also agree that it would probably make the most sense for them to do something on their own, whether its a justice of the peace or just eloping and doing something with just the two of them, etc.
daniebc16
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Re: Should I share the spotlight?
I say NO WAY!!!!!!! First of all why isn't his fiance worrying about all this. Personally, he is 39 years old and I think it is selfish to even consider stealing the spotlight from his lil' sis who is 24. If my brother even mentioned barging in on my wedding I would laugh in his face! Honestly, I think you let them worry about it, it is NOT your problem to deal with.
ETA: Now I am really annoyed at your brother considering they have been engaged for 4 years!!!!! I cannot believe he would even ask you to do this....you are too nice.
CrisiDrue
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Re: Should I share the spotlight?
Posted by Jennie0898
Plain and simple, NO.
I think that was INCREDIBLY rude of your brother to even suggest it.
I agree totally
nocode
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Re: Should I share the spotlight?
well two things 1.as your best friend i take personal offense to the fact that i didnt know that you set a date or got officially engaged. and 2 this is the krystal and james show not kelly and his fw who doesnt even come up with him ever since ive know you show so dont let them steal your thunder!!!!! now if we can please direct all attention to the wedding that is in 5 months....j/k lol but serisously i need major help im such a procrastinator
the future mrs m
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Re: Should I share the spotlight?
yes ms c! we can direct all attention to your wedding!!! :) I love you to pieces. And I have been working on your wedding. In between my thesis and stressing. What do you need help with? I can help you today.
xoxo, k
lacey&mark
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Re: Should I share the spotlight?
wow, i definitely would not be sharing my wedding day with my brother if i were i your situation. they had their opportunity to have the wedding when your mom gave them the money that they decided to use for a downpayment. please do not let their wedding issuess become YOUR problem. good luck.
Kara and Todd
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Re: Should I share the spotlight?
No.
Plain and simple ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Lemons
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WOW that is unbelievable! Honestly sweetie, I would NOT share the spotlight! This is YOUR day and should be treated as such! In my opinion, your brother and his fw are being VERY selfish...DOnt make a mistake that you will only regret later on down the line!!!!
the future mrs m
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Re: Should I share the spotlight?
Ok, since my mother has he attitude -it's your day do whatever you want I spoke to fh last night. I told him what I was thinking and that I didn't want to be selfish. He said that's why he loves me-I'm always thnking of others first. He also said don't stress it b/c it prob won't ever come up again. James' attitude was if my bro brings it up later its fine for them to exchange vows @ the reception (once everyone is well feuled w/ liquor--j/k). Also, his main point was that if they really wanted to be married they would have done it already so they prob wont. I love the idea of it happening at the rehearsal dinner though b/c all of our family will already be there. I don't think it will end up happening though.
rkl1130
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Re: Should I share the spotlight?
Posted by the future mrs m
Ok, since my mother has he attitude -it's your day do whatever you want I spoke to fh last night. I told him what I was thinking and that I didn't want to be selfish. He said that's why he loves me-I'm always thnking of others first. He also said don't stress it b/c it prob won't ever come up again. James' attitude was if my bro brings it up later its fine for them to exchange vows @ the reception (once everyone is well feuled w/ liquor--j/k). Also, his main point was that if they really wanted to be married they would have done it already so they prob wont. I love the idea of it happening at the rehearsal dinner though b/c all of our family will already be there. I don't think it will end up happening though.
That is so nice of your to consider.
I'm glad you talked it over with FH, because ultimately it will be both your decisions.
Personally, I wouldn't want to share the spotlight--especially since they've been together for so long, are older and have obviously had the opportunity to get married before. From the sound of it, it probably won't be mentioned again because as you said--if they really wanted to get married they would've already done so at this point.
LoveRocks
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Re: Should I share the spotlight?
I think that you are just so sweet for even considering it, but IMO, its is an AWFUL idea and I really believe that you will have major regrets if you allow it. Please don't share one of the most important days of yours and FHs life with anyone but each other!
