Should you ask BM opinion on their dresses? sort of long, sorry
Matt'sbride
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Should you ask BM opinion on their dresses? sort of long, sorry
I am having 8 BMs - two of my sister, two of his sisters and 4 friends. Well, 3 of my friends want to go to RK Bridal to see the BM dress that I picked out when I was there with my 2 sisters (one of my sisters had flown in from Kentucky so we could go dress shopping and we found my dress and their dress in one day! the day of the blackout actually which happened as I was paying for my dress!). What if my friends don't like the dress? I didn't really ask them for their opinion but I have a feeling they'll tell me if they don't like it. And then I think I'll get a little upset....Am I overreacting? Should I really expect them to just put on a happy face even if they don't like it? These are my college friends and we can never agree on ANYTHING so that's why I decided just to include my sisters on the decision...
joeslauren
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Re: Should you ask BM opinion on their dresses? sort of long, sorry
i had 9 bm's incl. fg so i figured it was best that i chose the dress instead of putting up with everyone's bickering. i chose a style that was flattering to everyone (a line, satin) so there weren't any problems. it's your day and if you love a dress, they'll wear it! no one should give you any lip about it!
goldilocks
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Re: Should you ask BM opinion on their dresses? sort of long, sorry
As a bridesmaid, I've been lucky in 5 out of the 6 dresses. I've had input into all but the last, and boy, that last one was the one I wish I had input into!! I thought it was ugly and unflattering BUT, I never said so to my friend. I think it would be rude to do so. It's your wedding and if you want your girls in that dress, part of agreeing to be in the bridalpartyis wearing whatever is chosen. That lavender dress is in a ball somewhere in a plastic bag, my plan was to give it to the Salvation Army!
With so many girls, it's hard to please 'em all. Do YOU like the dress? I plan to choose like 2 styles that are similar and let my girls pick the one they like best, so they'll all wear what they want, within the guidelines of what I chose. I hope that if they are rude enough to say something about hte dress, please don't let it stress you. Stay happy about your choice!!
Matt'sbride
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Re: Should you ask BM opinion on their dresses? sort of long, sorry
I like the idea of choosing the two styles - I may have to rethink my choice since this dress only comes in one style. It's been really tough but my sister loved this dress and it's strapless - I never thought she would have gone for a strapless since she's very well-endowed! And I thought the other girls might like it since they're smaller.
I have size 0 up to size 16 in my bridal party - bra size 32AA up to 38DD!!!!!! Oh well, I guess I could have worse problems! Thanks for the help - keep your fingers crossed they like it
ThreeTwenty
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Re: Should you ask BM opinion on their dresses? sort of long, sorry
I picked mine with the help of my MOH. My FSIL's were annoying me over a year ago about what dress I would pick and I need to take their large sizes into consideration. I told them I was picking the dress and whoever didn't like it doesn't have to be a bridesmaid! It's that simple! I haven't shown them my pick yet (it's plain satin and A-line) but if they have something bad to say about it I couldn't care less!
acp1101
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Re: Should you ask BM opinion on their dresses? sort of long, sorry
I am having the SAME situation...
I'll tell you what everyone is telling me....IT'S YOUR WEDDING!
They agreed to be their for YOU on your special day...NOT the fashion police!
Honestly, My sister (MOH) came with me to pick out the dress and I am just telling my other bridesmaids (6 girls) that this is the dress I want. PERIOD!
I have NEVER once thought to complain about a dress I wore in any of the bridal parties I was in...why stress the bride out? It's her day. JMO!
ThreeTwenty
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Re: Should you ask BM opinion on their dresses? sort of long, sorry
Exactly Cat! I have NEVER said a WORD about any of the BM dresses I have worn, and some of them were horrific!!!
smooch
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Re: Should you ask BM opinion on their dresses? sort of long, sorry
When I went shopping, I had with me my mom, my MOH (sister) and one of my BM. when we found 'the dress' I got a pic online and sent it to the rest of the BP, who live all over the country. I got thumbs up from everyone. I don't know what I would have done if someone really had a problem with it. I think, though, when picking it out, we were conscious to think about the others: would it flatter them, was the color okay, etc...
maysie18
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Re: Should you ask BM opinion on their dresses? sort of long, sorry
I'm having 5 girls (Maid, Matron, 3 BMs) & I WISH I hadn't given them any say so! & of course the 1 dress everyone agreed on ended up DISCONTINUED.
ETS: I tried to let them pick their own dresses but they didn't want to, believe it or not. Said they'd wear whatever I chose cuz it was my day.
I finally just chose them on my own. I got a few complaints just before ordering but so far everyone has dealt w/it & got their dresses. It is your day & they should just do whatyou want!
jenny2penny
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Re: Should you ask BM opinion on their dresses? sort of long, sorry
I am going with my sister next week and what I like goes.
julybride444
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Re: Should you ask BM opinion on their dresses? sort of long, sorry
I included my girls (though I only had 3). I thought since they were paying for the dress they should have some input, I was even willing to let them wear different dresses, but fortunately they found one they all thought was fine.
However, since the dress has already been picked out, I would think they'd just wear it.
The only thing they should definitely have had input into was the cost. Not everyone has the same budget, and if you picked a dress that was $200 and the girls could only afford one that was $140, you should pay the difference.
kdelace
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Re: Should you ask BM opinion on their dresses? sort of long, sorry
i had my bm's pick out the dress. i have 10 bm's (i come form a large family, 5 sisters!)I agree, they are paying for it... yes i had a say but they picked the styles that they all loved and agreed with the color. it was actually a very good experience.
Matt'sbride
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Re: Should you ask BM opinion on their dresses? sort of long, sorry
I may just have to do the same thing - pick the color and let them choose the style they want. although i would probably want the dresses to come from the same designer so the colors are similar...Thanks for all of your input! It really helps.
palebride
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Re: Should you ask BM opinion on their dresses? sort of long, sorry
i went with my two most difficult bridesmaids because i didn't want that decision on me and i wanted them to be comfortable on the wedding day!
and....because whenever i look at my mother's bridesmaid's dresses and laugh hysterically at the floral print and matching hats....
so when my kids look at my wedding pictures in 30 years, i want to be able to say - hey, i didn't pick them out! they did!!
wenndypoo
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Re: Should you ask BM opinion on their dresses? sort of long, sorry
I agree that is may be too stressful to try to find a dress to make all those BM's happy. Just take your sisters. Be reasonable, maybe give them a choice between two dresses. If they don't like the dress...well.....they can **** it up for a few hours to make the bride happy! I don't think you are overreacting, just being considerate. But you'll make yourself nuts trying to make everyone happy. If you've chosen the dresses in good conscience, then yes, you should expect them to just put on a happy face!
Good luck!
cluelessbride
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Re: Should you ask BM opinion on their dresses? sort of long, sorry
It's your wedding, you can do whatever you like.
However, I think it's not very nice to ask BMs to wear dresses they feel uncomfortable in.
Edited to add: What I mean is, let's say they have a big chest and the dress is low-cut or they kind of are spilling out of it. I wouldn't 'make' them wear that dress. But is it is only an issue of them not liking the style, well, too bad!
dmorris8
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Re: Should you ask BM opinion on their dresses? sort of long, sorry
I only have two bm's. One is very thin and the other is not. I am taking my larger girlfriend dress shopping and we will pick out the dress together. The other bm(FSIL) will have no say in the dress.
FSIL only wants a strapless gown and my girlfriend has a large chest so this will not work for her.
I say take the ones with you that may have a dress issue such as they are : overweight, curvy, large chest or flat chest. This will make them more comfortable and they will enjoy your wedding day more !!!
EvenEdan
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Re: Should you ask BM opinion on their dresses? sort of long, sorry
I recently chose a BM dress and out of my nine BMs only two have actually seen it in person. Four have seen a print out of it and three haven't seen it at all. I love the dress, it is beautiful and at the end of the day, I don't really care who doesn't like it. I can't be worried about appeasing nine girls, when it is my wedding, my photographs and ultimately my decision. I will take the remaining girls to see it before we order it, but regardless of their opinions, it is the dress.
june262004
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Re: Should you ask BM opinion on their dresses? sort of long, sorry
I am having 9 BM! honstly in my opinion its ure wedding and they should wear what u want them 2 wear, As my cousin said to me You are my little cousin and I will wear a paper bag for u! I have decided on Seprates so this way everyone will be comfy and the could get the skirts alter to a knee lenght skirt and wear them again!!
