I got an email from a friend of mine who got married recently. She was complaining because her MOH did not buy her a wedding gift. I responded by telling her to be patient (maybe the gift is on its way).
My question is therefore, do you expect (honestly) your maid of honor to buy you a wedding gift in addition to spending money on your bachelorette party (it was at a spa so she spent money on hotel, food, drinks, time off from work), the MOH dress ($175), and ANOTHER bachelorette party for relatives the night before the wedding.
I was shocked my friend even expected a gift. I was a bridesmaid at this same friend's wedding and spent MORE money than the MOH since I had to travel to the wedding site and pay for a hotel and train. I got the bride a gift but I wasn't thinking she expected it.
Kricket212
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Re: Should your Maid of Honor buy you a wedding gift?
We do weddings to celebrate our marriage. If we get a gift that is wonderful! I don't believe we should ever go in assuming that we will get a gift from everyone....especially the moh. They are doing the shower, bachlertte party, buying dress, shoes etc. Did she get a shower gift?
I think this friend should be grateful for all the girl did do.
luna bride x
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Re: Should your Maid of Honor buy you a wedding gift?
i was my friends MOH.. i paid for her shower all by myself and i also gave her a gift for the wedding. i honestly didn't even think that i wasn't expected too..
Reymiliz
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Re: Should your Maid of Honor buy you a wedding gift?
i think its very selfish of ur friend to even be upset over that .. even if she would have paid for anything just her support and comfort throughtout her wedding should have been enough
dedecakes
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Re: Should your Maid of Honor buy you a wedding gift?
Wow! I guess I am just greedy. Everyone is right...marriage is a celebration and you should be happy just by your loved ones being present, but at the same time...I think it's absolutely rude not to give a gift for the celebration of your life together...especially from your MOH!!!! I would personally be offended if my MOH did not give me a gift. She is so important to me and I would like to think that I am to her. I understand that a MOH has a huge responsibility, part of it being...dishing out a lot of money for certain things...but the least she could have done was given a small token...even if it was a picture frame.
KimberlyScott
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Re: Should your Maid of Honor buy you a wedding gift?
When I was my friends MOH I paid for her shower, BP and bought her a tons of stuff off of her registry. Plus the expense of being in the BP. That is gift enough!
dani1128
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Re: Should your Maid of Honor buy you a wedding gift?
i am not expecting a gift from anyone in my wedding party.
however im sure us bridesmaids in my friends wedding will probably get our friend something together.. luckily there are 10 of us lol
mmm117
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Re: Should your Maid of Honor buy you a wedding gift?
Posted by dani1128
i am not expecting a gift from anyone in my wedding party.
however im sure us bridesmaids in my friends wedding will probably get our friend something together.. luckily there are 10 of us lol
I guess every group of friends sort of has a different tradition in terms of what being a BM means and what's expected. For my group of friends, being a BMs is not such a huge $$ or obligation therefore we all give wedding gifts to each other even as BMs.
My BMs will not pay for my shower. My MOH is my sister so she and my family will pay for and throw my shower. All my BMs will do is attend and bring a gift like a regular guest.
My BMs will throw my bachelorette but non-BMs will also be there and paying their share. Plus we all live in NYC so at the end of the day, a bachelorette isn't soooo different from a regular night out for my group of BMs. The only real added expense if you're a BM opposed to a regular guest is the cost of the BM dress.
Given this, my BMs will definitely be giving wedding gifts and I have always given a wedding gift when I've been a BM for my friends.
mmm117
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Re: Should your Maid of Honor buy you a wedding gift?
Ooops I realized now this post was about MOHs not BMs. Hmm if the MOH is paying for the shower etc then that is a big responsibility. I agree though that maybe a small token at the wedding would be nice. As I mentioned my MOH is my sister so I think that she will still get me a gift b/c she's family. It's different when you're dealing with friends.
JSG10506
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Re: Should your Maid of Honor buy you a wedding gift?
Honestly, I wouldn't expect my MOH to give me anything, ESPECIALLY after all she's done for me and to help me. I am inviting and including people in my wedding to celebrate our day with us, not to get things from them. That being said though, I did give my friend Michelle a gift when I was the MOH in her wedding in May. I spent a lot of $ for her shower, bparty, my dress & my sons tux etc. so I went and bought a pretty photo album that I had engraved at Things Remembered. I still spent like $80 but it was just the point that the thought was there.
All in all though, I will be sure to make it clear to my wedding party that we don't expect wedding gifts from them & that they have done more than enough for us just by being with us.
dutchessev
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Re: Should your Maid of Honor buy you a wedding gift?
I personally don't think anyone should feel obligated to get anyone a gift. If your MOH gets you a gift 'YAY' if not 'oh well'. But if she doesn't give you one I don't think it is something to get upset about.
mcbride62009
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Re: Should your Maid of Honor buy you a wedding gift?
Honestly my MOH is my twin and she is getting married 4 months after me so we arent doing gifts for e-parties or weddings bc we would just get it/give it back!
For my older sisters wedding I gave her a large gift. That was bc I thought it was ness. being she is my sister and i was a MOH. I think a gift should be given if the person has the $$ but shouldn't be upset if not.
Brendanzgirl
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Re: Should your Maid of Honor buy you a wedding gift?
Well I don't see why she wouldn't buy the couple a wedding gift. I did for my sister when I was MOH
lucamon
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Re: Should your Maid of Honor buy you a wedding gift?
I don't think she should expect a gift from her MOH if she already dropped a lot of money on the shower and/ bachelorette party. Plus her support and contribution throughout the entire planning process is a gift itself. But, on the other hand, a card would've been nice so the bride has something as a keepsake.
Snick n Nick
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Re: Should your Maid of Honor buy you a wedding gift?
I did not expect any of my BMs/MOH to give gifts, especially since none of them brought dates, they were really there just for me, and they all had to travel to get there as well, some traveled for the shower (or both showers), they spent so much and I know my friends can't really afford it b/c we are pretty young and some have grad degrees already but work in fields that are not lucrative. One BM had to fly from CA and I point blank told her when I asked her that I understood if she couldn't afford it, couldn't come for the shower, etc. so I really didn't expect a gift from her and didn't get one.
One BM did give a gift off the registry which was great and unexpected, and my MOH gave me a $250 check which was extremely generous considering how much she spent on me, and the fact that she had just lost her job! I was certainly not expecting anything though--their involvement was their gift to me!
dedecakes
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Re: Should your Maid of Honor buy you a wedding gift?
I don't think this question has a yes or no answer. Everyone's situation is different and it all really depends on the person. Like the bride above me mentioned...if your BMs (or MOH) are coming from all over the country, I would not expect them to give me a gift. Or if they are in between jobs, just graduated, etc...I would understand their circumstances and would definitely not expect anything. Personally, all of my BMs are very financially stable and live fairly close to me. Not that I would EXPECT a gift, but I would be surprised if they did not give me one. But like I said...every situation is different and everyone reacts differently. I could take either side on this subject, depending on the situation.
LauraD419
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Re: Should your Maid of Honor buy you a wedding gift?
Honestly...I had 2 MOH's.
The first did my bridal shower, helped with the bach party, flew in from out of town and was calling me to see if i needed help. Her DH was also a groomsman. She gave us a very generous gift.
My other MOH did not help with the bridal shower or bach party and never called to see if i needed help. Her mother bought her dress and my mother paid for her hair. She did not give a gift, but she did bring a date that I had to pay for.
Honestly, I did not expect a gift from my moh, but if they did nothing and paid for nothing, they should give a gift!
hogie2be
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Re: Should your Maid of Honor buy you a wedding gift?
The best gift a MOH can give is herself when you need her. a small token to celebrate my wedding is nothing in comparison- regardless of how much she did/did not contribute financially.
jsha20
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Re: Should your Maid of Honor buy you a wedding gift?
I would think the majority of brides would expect a gift from the members of their wedding party.
Wifeynella
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Re: Should your Maid of Honor buy you a wedding gift?
i've been a bridesmaid before and always gotten the couple a gift, usually MORE than i would had i just been a guest.
when im a MOH for my best friend, i intend to get her a significant gift even though I'll be paying for her shower and bachelorette party, not to mention her's will be a destination wedding (travel, hotel, BM attire, etc).
while it's an honor to be in the wedding party, you are taking on those costs of your own free will. you are still a guest at the wedding and i think a gift is appropriate.
