I got an email from a friend of mine who got married recently. She was complaining because her MOH did not buy her a wedding gift. I responded by telling her to be patient (maybe the gift is on its way).
My question is therefore, do you expect (honestly) your maid of honor to buy you a wedding gift in addition to spending money on your bachelorette party (it was at a spa so she spent money on hotel, food, drinks, time off from work), the MOH dress ($175), and ANOTHER bachelorette party for relatives the night before the wedding.
I was shocked my friend even expected a gift. I was a bridesmaid at this same friend's wedding and spent MORE money than the MOH since I had to travel to the wedding site and pay for a hotel and train. I got the bride a gift but I wasn't thinking she expected it.
Re: Should your Maid of Honor buy you a wedding gift?
I must say that all the questions about traditions and who pays for what mean nothing today. Traditions are not what they were because money and finances are not what they were. Today most weddings are not only paid for by the brides parents and so and so. 'traditionally' the MOH throws the shower and paid for the bach party and all that stuff but no one really follows that stuff anymore. When asked to be in a bridal party you immediatelt take on a huge financial responsibility anyway and have to know that and be willing to do it. Even if its just a dress and shoes. As for giving a gift...I would give one regardless of what I spent on other things but thats just me...whether it was money in an envelope or something else...I would NEVER go to a party/wedding empty handed...I just think thats rude. BUT...maybe this person couldnt afford to give a gift..which I could understand...I dont know. If it was my friend getting married and I could afford to bring an envelope...I would have made something....like a meaningful gift...something....
Espo22
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Re: Should your Maid of Honor buy you a wedding gift?
well im thinking about it from the other side. If i was a MOH i would definitely give a gift at the wedding and most likely would give more than i do for other weddings. Same with DH when hes been in bridal parties he gives more, not just for the fact that hes in a bridal party but obviously its a real close friend so thats why.
don't think it should be expected and everybodies situation is different.
Every bridal party is very different. Not every bridal party has to pay for a shower, alot of moms now pay for the whole thing, my mom did.
Its hard to give an answer bc its based on an individual basis.
beram63
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Re: Should your Maid of Honor buy you a wedding gift?
i gave my friend a gift ($$) when i was her MOH. i don't know what the official ruling is tho.
BoxOfRocks
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Re: Should your Maid of Honor buy you a wedding gift?
Well, technically the traditional etiquette is no one owes you a wedding gift.
lanamanitta
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Re: Should your Maid of Honor buy you a wedding gift?
I'm not expecting a gift from our BP at all, because they all have to travel to NY, stay in a hotel for at least 2 nights, buy dresses, shoes, rent tuxes, get hair and makeup, etc. That is more than I could ask for, honestly, and I don't expect or want them to spend even more money! I'm sure they'll bring shower gifts too, and if there's a bachelorette, jeez, enough is enough!!!
kirstenjk
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Re: Should your Maid of Honor buy you a wedding gift?
The biggest thing that this wedding has taught me is to expect nothing. I am just happy that these people are willing to share in our special day and if they give us something that's the icing. The less you expect, the less you will be disappointed and the more you will be surprised!
ttdiff11
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Re: Should your Maid of Honor buy you a wedding gift?
hmm well i know in my case my mom is paying for the shower but there are still alot of other things to pay for. i guess it depends on the situation. i obv defff wouldnt mind if she didtnt get me a gift hough!
Butterfly123
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Re: Should your Maid of Honor buy you a wedding gift?
There is no right answer for this. It depends on the person. I didnt expect anything from from my BP. My DH's cousin did so much for me during my planning and I was more interested in getting her a big gift to thank her. I didnt want her to give us a gift but she did. I feel like an MOH who steps up plays a big role and spends a lot of money so they really shouldnt be expected to give money. Not that anyone should be 'expected' to give a gift. The fact that she is ANGRY about it is a little selfish. She just got married she shouldnt be dwelling on who didnt give her a gift IMO. Especially her MOH who probably did a lot for her during the planning.
FutureMrsCarrieri
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Re: Should your Maid of Honor buy you a wedding gift?
I say it shouldn't be expected -- not after all the MOH spent on the dress, shoes, make-up, hair, any traveling expenses, the shower, batch party and more....
Jayla127
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Re: Should your Maid of Honor buy you a wedding gift?
I have 2 MOH's who up till now are going above and beyond for my wedding. They will be handling my bridal shower and bachelorette party amongst other things. So, I'm not expecting them to give me a gift because they are doing enough right now. The gift itself is them sharing my day and then to extend themselves even more. JMO!
