My MOH is having it in a restaurant where she is expecting each guest to pay their own way it is price fixed at $30 or they can order individually and it will be less. However, in the invitation this is not stated. Won't everyone think that it is paid for and they won't have to chip in?? What should I say to her?? All the invite says is your invited in my honor... and then the address and please rsvp by... im worried people will be expecting not to have to pay HELP!!
MikesBride2B
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Re: SHOWER advice needed
I don't have any advice for you...but, yeah...they need to know before they go there. I think that someone needs to put up the money to pay for these people...if I knew I had to pay $30 on top of a gift...I can tell you that the amount that I spent on a gift would be a lot less, if I even decided to go at all...I'd be kind of offended.
Lil OC
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Re: SHOWER advice needed
I'm sorry hun, but I have never in my life heard of being invited to a shower and having to pay your own way. People are already bringing a gift. Is this something that your friends/family normally do? I would definitely have something on the invites telling people that they have to pay for themselves. If I showed up at a shower as a guest, I would not expect to pay for myself. Can't you just have something at someone's house? Maybe a BBQ or a potluck? Doesn't have to be fancy, and I think people would like it better.
jmgoncal
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Re: SHOWER advice needed
No offense but I think that's pretty strange and have never heard of such a thing. If that's the case, people definitely need to be told beforehand. In all honesty, I don't know that I would go to a shower and bring a gift if I had to pay for myself.
canmigs
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Re: SHOWER advice needed
I see this causing some major drama. I would definitely find a way to let everyone know in advance. When I am invited to shower I would never expect to pay and would unlikely not have any cash on me since I never do. It would just make me very uncomfortable and I would leave bitter. JMO
DaniandKen2010
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Re: SHOWER advice needed
I think this type of shower is popular in other states but I don't think it will fly in NY. I would be pissed if I showed up to a shower and then out to shell out money for my food. $30 is a lot to some people who are on a limited budget. I think a BBQ or something would be a much better option. Sorry not snapping at you.
JMO
AshnJess110610
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Re: SHOWER advice needed
I think you need to tell your MOH that this isn't acceptable. Especially because people don't know.
elp6421
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Re: SHOWER advice needed
I agree with the other posters - this is going to cause a lot of drama. I have never heard of this happening, even in Ohio and Florida.
How many people were invited??? Is it possible your mom and girls could pull together to pay for the cost? It almost seems like 'Shower' is not an appropriate word to put on the invite because it almost seem like a 'luncheon' or something different.
Sorry girl!
Never2Part
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Re: SHOWER advice needed
I think you should try having it for free at someones house b/c charging ppl to come and bring you a gift is simply outrageous.
GR2010
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Re: SHOWER advice needed
Yeah, people are definitely NOT going to be expecting to pay for themselves and I think most will be annoyed when they find out they have to. Did the invitations go out already? If not there should be something added that indicates that. I would never think I had to pay for myself when showing up to a shower. And that is a lot to ask of people who are showing up with a gift in hand. Is there anyway she can get the BP to chip in to cover it? I would be pretty offended if I was invited to a shower, brought a gift and then had to shell out another $30 for food and I most likely wouldn't have the cash on me to do so (I never carry cash). I probably wouldn't RSVP yes if I knew ahead of time and would just send a gift instead. Or if I did go I would buy a much smaller gift
ETA: I would consider having it at someone's house at that point and just do a buffet or get a hero or wraps.
I think you definitely have to talk to your MOH about this one.
soontobecruz
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Re: SHOWER advice needed
If you want people at your wedding you better nix this fast!!
Sorry but if I went to a shower and had to pay for myself I wouldn't go to the wedding fearing I'd be paying for myself there too.
I'll be honest I think this is a very tacky idea and you will offend a lot of people.
flibbertigibbet
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Re: SHOWER advice needed
what the other girls said.
absolutely NO.
SummerBride10
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Re: SHOWER advice needed
You really need to have a talk with your MOH. I know I'd be taken back and maybe even slightly offended if I was invited to a shower and expected to pay my own way. It's opening up many doors for problems.
If its too much for her to cover, maybe you can discuss other options? A nice backyard shower? Or a BBQ in the park? Both can be VERY nice and I'm sure less costly!
We had our engagement party catered by Fireside Caterers (we did it in a park). It was only $12 per person for all you can eat BBQ. You can also get family members to make some dishes.
GiannisWifey
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Re: SHOWER advice needed
I have been to numerous showers and I have never ever heard of this before. The guests are already bringing a thoughtful gift to begin with that has cost them money. I can't imagine going to a shower, spending money on a gift, and then being told 'that will be $30'. I honeslty think you should have a talk with her and tell her that people will probably be really confused/mad/angry if this were to happen.
20mrsc10
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Re: SHOWER advice needed
just outta curiosity-what about the people who don't have money on them..i honestly dont usually bring money anywhere with me unless i know im paying for something, which i wouldn't really expect to do at ANY sort of party..what happens to those girls?
Jna2010
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Re: SHOWER advice needed
i have never heard of that before, and i can tell you know that you will not have very happy guests. if shes 'hosting' an event she pays for her guests simple as that, thats how it goes.
tell her straight out that what shes doing is rude and if she does want to do it that way she should tell your guests.... i know for me i never have any cash on me. but if it were me id be very adamant on NOT having my guests pay to come to my shower
AdriandSteve
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Re: SHOWER advice needed
umm... not cool. I think your MOH needs to be told that this can't happen. I def see some people just walking out once they find out they have to pay for a shower. I know i'd be pretty po'd if I wasn't even given any warning.
This is def strange imo.
halfbaked
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Re: SHOWER advice needed
So your MOH is expecting your guests to bring a gift and pay for their dinner? I would not let her go through with it. I'd change the location or maybe make it a brunch or something like that so it's a little less expensive and maybe MOH/BMs can then afford it.
SuzanneK
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Re: SHOWER advice needed
I think you should talk to your MOH she needs to figure out a way to pay for the guests. She cant expect your guests to pay $30 or even more when they are already coming to your shower and bringing a gift. I have heard of doing that for a bday dinner but never a shower. I would talk to her because you guests are going to be offended. I know I would.
grkbarbie
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Re: SHOWER advice needed
lmaoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
sorry thats the dumbbbest shyt i have ever read on here.. wow lmaoo
sorry yea no.. she cant expect your guests to pay. i wonder what she does when she has ppl over her house?? use her Waldbaums receipt as a centerpiece to discuss how much each person pays during dinner? ERF
