Shower Dilemma...

MrsDrinkh20 Posted: Dec 30, 2008 11:52 AM

Shower Dilemma...

Ok ladies...im in a pickle...

My mom said to me this morning 'Im not supposed to talk to you about this but we need to cut your shower list down. There are too many people on it.' I didnt know i had a shower list lol. Im assuming Brad gave them the list of the women invited to the wedding. I know etiquette says this is how it is supposed to go but my sister and my mom are paying on their own and can't afford it. Is it terrible for me to invite people to the wedding but NOT the shower? Im so upset...i feel terrible fo rmy sis and mom but i also feel uncertain of how this should work!!

MrsDtoBe09 Posted: Dec 30, 2008 11:55 AM

Re: Shower Dilemma...

I think its okay to cut your list. Maybe take out Brad's friends wives/girlfriends that you're not so close to and work people that you're not too close to. How much do they have to cut it by?

chicky724 Posted: Dec 30, 2008 11:56 AM

Re: Shower Dilemma...

I'm having the SAME exact problem!!! I don't know what I'm supposed to do!

I'm kind of feeling like people like FH's cousins would probably be happy if they didn't have to come to my shower... one less gift to buy! But I don't want them to be insulted either.

michelle1024 Posted: Dec 30, 2008 11:56 AM

Re: Shower Dilemma...

I could be wrong, but I thought that not everyone that is invited to the wedding has to be invited to the shower, but if you invite to the shower they have to be invited to the wedding. lol if that makes sense!

I don't think every woman going to the wedding has to be invited to the shower. Just relatives and close friends, I think that is fine.

MrsDrinkh20 Posted: Dec 30, 2008 11:57 AM

Re: Shower Dilemma...

Posted by michelle1024

I could be wrong, but I thought that not everyone that is invited to the wedding has to be invited to the shower, but if you invite to the shower they have to be invited to the wedding. lol if that makes sense!

I don't think every woman going to the wedding has to be invited to the shower. Just relatives and close friends, I think that is fine.

You are my hero! thank you so much!

smrsun Posted: Dec 30, 2008 11:57 AM

Re: Shower Dilemma...

I think women at the shower should be the ones closest to you and FH's family. It's OK to not invite allll of the women who will be invited to the wedding.

JJC Posted: Dec 30, 2008 11:57 AM

Re: Shower Dilemma...

you dont have to invite every woman that is coming to the wedding! a shower is for close women...relatives and close friends of you and fh...meaning your fam and good gfs...and the same for him..my fmil invited some of her close friends that i didnt know and fh invited some wifes of his best buddies but that was it...not every wife and every friend...if you dont see them on a regular basis..then you dont have to invite them...I think people understand that. I mean..I invited 296 to the wedding and invited 82 to the shower!

StefPalma Posted: Dec 30, 2008 11:58 AM

Re: Shower Dilemma...

you definitely do not have to invite everyone to the shower that you're inviting to the wedding! just clsoe friends and family get invited to the shower

Espo22 Posted: Dec 30, 2008 11:59 AM

Re: Shower Dilemma...

Posted by MrsDrinkh20

Ok ladies...im in a pickle...

My mom said to me this morning 'Im not supposed to talk to you about this but we need to cut your shower list down. There are too many people on it.' I didnt know i had a shower list lol. Im assuming Brad gave them the list of the women invited to the wedding. I know etiquette says this is how it is supposed to go but my sister and my mom are paying on their own and can't afford it. Is it terrible for me to invite people to the wedding but NOT the shower? Im so upset...i feel terrible fo rmy sis and mom but i also feel uncertain of how this should work!!

actually it doesnt say that you invite every woman invited to the wedding. Its your closest friends and family thats it. Even when others said this on here, i looked up the etiquette for this and it specifically said not toinvite everyone invited to the wedding. Dont forget that some women invited might not be close to you. Hey ive gone to dh's coworkers wedding and i didnt know the wife so not like i ever expected to be invited and would find it weird if i was lol.

So just do both of your families and your closest friends, maybe gf's and wives of his friends that you know very well and co-workers of yours if you want

FuTuRe MrS MaZz Posted: Dec 30, 2008 12:01 PM

Re: Shower Dilemma...

not every woman invited to the wedding is invited to the shower... its for the people a little more close to you.... we are having about 40 at mine

Gracie821 Posted: Dec 30, 2008 12:03 PM

Re: Shower Dilemma...

Posted by michelle1024

I could be wrong, but I thought that not everyone that is invited to the wedding has to be invited to the shower, but if you invite to the shower they have to be invited to the wedding. lol if that makes sense!

I don't think every woman going to the wedding has to be invited to the shower. Just relatives and close friends, I think that is fine.

I thought the same thing!

FutureMrsC Posted: Dec 30, 2008 12:04 PM

Re: Shower Dilemma...

Posted by michelle1024

I could be wrong, but I thought that not everyone that is invited to the wedding has to be invited to the shower, but if you invite to the shower they have to be invited to the wedding. lol if that makes sense!

I don't think every woman going to the wedding has to be invited to the shower. Just relatives and close friends, I think that is fine.

I agree...I feel the shower should be women you are closest with. I am only planning to invite the women who we invited to our e-party and a few friends.

michelle1024 Posted: Dec 30, 2008 12:05 PM

Re: Shower Dilemma...

Posted by MrsDrinkh20

Posted by michelle1024

I could be wrong, but I thought that not everyone that is invited to the wedding has to be invited to the shower, but if you invite to the shower they have to be invited to the wedding. lol if that makes sense!

I don't think every woman going to the wedding has to be invited to the shower. Just relatives and close friends, I think that is fine.

You are my hero! thank you so much!

you're welcome

MrsDrinkh20 Posted: Dec 30, 2008 12:05 PM

Re: Shower Dilemma...

Ok so im just an idiot THanks ladies!

KittyGags Posted: Dec 30, 2008 12:07 PM

Re: Shower Dilemma...

Posted by michelle1024

I could be wrong, but I thought that not everyone that is invited to the wedding has to be invited to the shower, but if you invite to the shower they have to be invited to the wedding. lol if that makes sense!

I don't think every woman going to the wedding has to be invited to the shower. Just relatives and close friends, I think that is fine.

This is DEAD on. Showers aren't supposed to be 100 women! Its supposed to be close friends and family...

MaggieLuvsJoe Posted: Dec 30, 2008 12:10 PM

Re: Shower Dilemma...

Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

not every woman invited to the wedding is invited to the shower... its for the people a little more close to you.... we are having about 40 at mine

ITA!! i gave my mom the list even though she is planning it as a suprise and we all agreed (my mom, FMIL, and me) that we would only have the closest women to us....we're having about 50-55 people at my shower

MEMEJOR Posted: Dec 30, 2008 12:22 PM

Re: Shower Dilemma...

at my shower we did close friends, aunts on both sides and close family friends.. u dont need to invite everyone... only do what u can do and i am sure people will understand

VickiR510 Posted: Dec 30, 2008 07:58 PM

Re: Shower Dilemma...

Lauren its so fine! Everyone does it. Think about those girls on FH's side that wont be on your list its the same thing. I had to help cut down my list as well. I had over 90 people we cut it down to 77. We think we will get about 60/65 total. Its alot fo money to throw a shower things are not cheap at all! So its fine. I had to cut some friends which was hard but then decided to only have my very dear & best ones & the rest is all fam! ahhh

nifheim Posted: Dec 30, 2008 08:02 PM

Re: Shower Dilemma...

The shower should only be close family and friends (typically) not everyone on your list. I had a shower of 25 women and my invite list for the wedding was 145 total.

dazies1011 Posted: Dec 30, 2008 08:04 PM

Re: Shower Dilemma...

Posted by michelle1024

I could be wrong, but I thought that not everyone that is invited to the wedding has to be invited to the shower, but if you invite to the shower they have to be invited to the wedding. lol if that makes sense!

I don't think every woman going to the wedding has to be invited to the shower. Just relatives and close friends, I think that is fine.

Totally agree... dont worry Lauren everything will work out