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Shower Etiquette

christy Posted: Dec 10, 2002 09:42 PM+

christy MEMBER SINCE: 1/02 TOTAL POSTS : 6763 WEDDING DATE: Apr 18, 2003

Posted: Dec 10, 2002 09:42 PM

Shower Etiquette

Is it wrong to invite people that are far away and relatives of my FH that I dont know?

jennbaby Posted: Dec 10, 2002 09:45 PM+

jennbaby MEMBER SINCE: 9/01 TOTAL POSTS : 29573 WEDDING DATE: May 17, 2003

Posted: Dec 10, 2002 09:45 PM

Re: Shower Etiquette

i don't know half of John's army of an irish family he has & they are coming!
i'll hold up the gifts and say 'This is from Aunt Betty' and I wont even know who she is!!

Helene718 Posted: Dec 10, 2002 09:46 PM+

Helene718 MEMBER SINCE: 9/02 TOTAL POSTS : 2187 WEDDING DATE: Jul 18, 2003

Posted: Dec 10, 2002 09:46 PM

Re: Shower Etiquette

I'm afraid I won't know some of MY relatives names! Now that's bad!

SomedayBride Posted: Dec 10, 2002 09:52 PM+

SomedayBride MEMBER SINCE: 5/02 TOTAL POSTS : 2051 WEDDING DATE: Jan 01, 1995

Posted: Dec 10, 2002 09:52 PM

Re: Shower Etiquette

I'm afraid I won't know some of MY relatives names! Really, this is why I am dreading my shower!
As for the topic at hand, I think I would only invite people who might actually come. Like, I wouldn't send an invite to a great aunt in California. Some people think you're just looking for a gift. If you think there is a remote chance of a person coming, or that they would be insulted by not being invited, invite them.

christy Posted: Dec 11, 2002 07:30 AM+

christy MEMBER SINCE: 1/02 TOTAL POSTS : 6763 WEDDING DATE: Apr 18, 2003

Posted: Dec 11, 2002 07:30 AM

Re: Shower Etiquette

Thanks ladies, I guess I will relay this to my MOH Again!

Niecey Posted: Dec 11, 2002 10:56 AM+

Niecey MEMBER SINCE: 6/01 TOTAL POSTS : 5965 WEDDING DATE: Oct 26, 2002

Posted: Dec 11, 2002 10:56 AM

Re: Shower Etiquette

As for people out of state - for the most part we did not invite them. I only invited a college friend from Boston who is very close because I think she would have been insulted if we didn't.

People you don't know - I asked my mom to keep it small and only invite people I know. Honestly, I feel weird - - like I am begging for gifts and I know I hate being invited to these things when I barely know the person. I wanted a small intimate shower. My mom only invited relatives and very close friends that I know and we felt comfortable inviting. My MIL on the other hand caused much controversy over this. MIL invited every single person on her guest list (friends, family and neighbors) that lived in the NY/NJ area including young third cousins (my mom wanted no children) and a girlfriend of one of her friend's sons (who I met the som once about 2 years ago and DH & I were dating 6 years). I felt horrible! The shower was wonderful and thank goodness not many of them came (I just felt like it made me look like a gift hungry greedy person when I did finally meet these people at the wedding) but it was embarrassing having my DH introduce me to a whole table of neighbors in the beginning of the party...some of which he wasn't even sure of their names!!!

Latina511 Posted: Dec 11, 2002 11:48 AM+

Latina511 MEMBER SINCE: 8/02 TOTAL POSTS : 7201 WEDDING DATE: Sep 15, 2002

Posted: Dec 11, 2002 11:48 AM

Re: Shower Etiquette

I invited the closest people to me to the shower and even though they still couldn't come they still sent me a lovely gift.

hotelcalie Posted: Dec 11, 2002 11:53 AM+

hotelcalie MEMBER SINCE: 1/02 TOTAL POSTS : 920 WEDDING DATE: Apr 05, 2003

Posted: Dec 11, 2002 11:53 AM

Re: Shower Etiquette

I was also affraid of not knowing relatives names but it worked out perfectly! My mother sent a list of guests and their relationship to one of my BM and she made name tags for everyone!! It was great and a lot of people commented on what a good idea it was because it was an instant ice breaker between my family and FH's family!

christine1221 Posted: Dec 11, 2002 12:03 PM+

christine1221 MEMBER SINCE: 10/02 TOTAL POSTS : 2237 WEDDING DATE: Dec 21, 2002

Posted: Dec 11, 2002 12:03 PM

Re: Shower Etiquette

I was afraid of people being insulted that weren't invited. So my mom got together with FMIL to double check the list. Anyone that needed to be added was added. The last thing I needed was people being mad at me b/c they were not invited to the shower!

Good luck

Cindy Posted: Dec 11, 2002 01:34 PM+

Cindy MEMBER SINCE: 11/01 TOTAL POSTS : 3529 WEDDING DATE: Aug 24, 2002

Posted: Dec 11, 2002 01:34 PM

Re: Shower Etiquette

I invited some out of towners that I knew wouldnt come. To my surprise a very special friend from upstate surprised me and showed up. As far as people in your FI family that you barely know, if you ask me, unless they are super close to him it is ridiculous for your shower to be filled with a room full of strangers, take my advice from someone who has been there.