shower invites before ceremony invites??

Hi Gals,

My MOH wants my guest list to send out the invites for my shower which will be sometime in june. my wedding isn't until august. should the guests be receiving the shower invites before the wedding invites??
the save the dates did go out allready. I know it's too early to send out the shower invites, but shouldn't the wedding invites go out first????
Any thoughts?
Thanks.

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Posted by Espo22

no, the shower is first so they should get the invites for that first since it will happen before the wedding. Usually a shower is 2-3 months before the wedding, and if its 3 months before the wedding for example then shower invites should go out about 4-6 weeks before that so a bit over 4 months before.

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YUP!

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Posted by jeanyus27

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Posted by Espo22

no, the shower is first so they should get the invites for that first since it will happen before the wedding. Usually a shower is 2-3 months before the wedding, and if its 3 months before the wedding for example then shower invites should go out about 4-6 weeks before that so a bit over 4 months before.

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YUP!

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Really???
that just doesn't make sense to me. Obviously my family and friends know that it's my wedding, but it just makes sense that they would get the invite to the wedding and then get the invite to the shower. wouldn't any other person wonder who or why they're being invited to a shower for?

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Posted by fancyface1955

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Posted by jeanyus27

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Posted by Espo22

no, the shower is first so they should get the invites for that first since it will happen before the wedding. Usually a shower is 2-3 months before the wedding, and if its 3 months before the wedding for example then shower invites should go out about 4-6 weeks before that so a bit over 4 months before.

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YUP!

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Really???
that just doesn't make sense to me. Obviously my family and friends know that it's my wedding, but it just makes sense that they would get the invite to the wedding and then get the invite to the shower. wouldn't any other person wonder who or why they're being invited to a shower for?

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everyone sends out shower invites first. Even every wedding ive attended where i went to the shower i got the shower invite first. Well remember that the shower is ONLY very close friends and family members so they should know you are getting married, if somebody doesnt know youre getting married then i would say they dont get invited to the shower. ITs usually bridal party, your close family members and his close family members plus friends you are VERY close to, thats all. You dont invite every woman invited to the wedding. Everyone at my shower knew way before my shower i was getting married, since i am close to them and they knew all about my wedding.

Well here so it makes more sense. WHen were you planning on sending wedding invitations? the norm is that you send out wedding invitations about 8 weeks before the wedding, that is 2 months before the wedding. Now if ppl had to wait for a wedding invitation before a shower invite then wouldn't it be too late? if your shower is in June then ppl need to know about this ahead of time and given notice so they know they have a shower to attend soon. So for your june shower people have to get invites in april or may, but if wedding invites go out 8 weeks before then that would mean they get the wedding invite in june and then shower invite after which is the month of your shower, thats too late then, what if your shower is beginning of june and they dont get wedding invite until after, they would miss your shower.

my shower was in march, wedding in may. Shower invites went out in january bc well ppl had to know about it so they can attend. If they wouldve waited until i sent out wedding invitations then they wouldve missed my shower since my shower was march 2nd and i wasnt ready to send out wedding invites by then.

ALSO dont forget that there are some ppl who have showers like 4-5 months before their wedding, not like theyre going to send out wedding invitations 6 months before just to send out the wedding invitation first.

ETA: you also said you sent out STDs so nobody is going to wonder why you are having a shower since they already were sent an STD with your wedding date.

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by fancyface1955

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Posted by jeanyus27

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Posted by Espo22

no, the shower is first so they should get the invites for that first since it will happen before the wedding. Usually a shower is 2-3 months before the wedding, and if its 3 months before the wedding for example then shower invites should go out about 4-6 weeks before that so a bit over 4 months before.

---

YUP!

---

Really???
that just doesn't make sense to me. Obviously my family and friends know that it's my wedding, but it just makes sense that they would get the invite to the wedding and then get the invite to the shower. wouldn't any other person wonder who or why they're being invited to a shower for?

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everyone sends out shower invites first. Even every wedding ive attended where i went to the shower i got the shower invite first. Well remember that the shower is ONLY very close friends and family members so they should know you are getting married, if somebody doesnt know youre getting married then i would say they dont get invited to the shower. ITs usually bridal party, your close family members and his close family members plus friends you are VERY close to, thats all. You dont invite every woman invited to the wedding. Everyone at my shower knew way before my shower i was getting married, since i am close to them and they knew all about my wedding.

Well here so it makes more sense. WHen were you planning on sending wedding invitations? the norm is that you send out wedding invitations about 8 weeks before the wedding, that is 2 months before the wedding. Now if ppl had to wait for a wedding invitation before a shower invite then wouldn't it be too late? if your shower is in June then ppl need to know about this ahead of time and given notice so they know they have a shower to attend soon. So for your june shower people have to get invites in april or may, but if wedding invites go out 8 weeks before then that would mean they get the wedding invite in june and then shower invite after which is the month of your shower, thats too late then, what if your shower is beginning of june and they dont get wedding invite until after, they would miss your shower.

my shower was in march, wedding in may. Shower invites went out in january bc well ppl had to know about it so they can attend. If they wouldve waited until i sent out wedding invitations then they wouldve missed my shower since my shower was march 2nd and i wasnt ready to send out wedding invites by then.

ALSO dont forget that there are some ppl who have showers like 4-5 months before their wedding, not like theyre going to send out wedding invitations 6 months before just to send out the wedding invitation first.

ETA: you also said you sent out STDs so nobody is going to wonder why you are having a shower since they already were sent an STD with your wedding date.

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So you don't have to invite every woman to the shower that you're inviting to the wedding. I had been invited to too many showers of women i barely knew because the brides FH was friends of my FI. I didn't go because i wasn't very friendly with them and wouldn't know anyone at the party. I hope i don't have to invite those women to my shower. But i'd rather have it that way- just family and close personal friends.

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Posted by fancyface1955

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by fancyface1955

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Posted by jeanyus27

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Posted by Espo22

no, the shower is first so they should get the invites for that first since it will happen before the wedding. Usually a shower is 2-3 months before the wedding, and if its 3 months before the wedding for example then shower invites should go out about 4-6 weeks before that so a bit over 4 months before.

---

YUP!

---

Really???
that just doesn't make sense to me. Obviously my family and friends know that it's my wedding, but it just makes sense that they would get the invite to the wedding and then get the invite to the shower. wouldn't any other person wonder who or why they're being invited to a shower for?

---

everyone sends out shower invites first. Even every wedding ive attended where i went to the shower i got the shower invite first. Well remember that the shower is ONLY very close friends and family members so they should know you are getting married, if somebody doesnt know youre getting married then i would say they dont get invited to the shower. ITs usually bridal party, your close family members and his close family members plus friends you are VERY close to, thats all. You dont invite every woman invited to the wedding. Everyone at my shower knew way before my shower i was getting married, since i am close to them and they knew all about my wedding.

Well here so it makes more sense. WHen were you planning on sending wedding invitations? the norm is that you send out wedding invitations about 8 weeks before the wedding, that is 2 months before the wedding. Now if ppl had to wait for a wedding invitation before a shower invite then wouldn't it be too late? if your shower is in June then ppl need to know about this ahead of time and given notice so they know they have a shower to attend soon. So for your june shower people have to get invites in april or may, but if wedding invites go out 8 weeks before then that would mean they get the wedding invite in june and then shower invite after which is the month of your shower, thats too late then, what if your shower is beginning of june and they dont get wedding invite until after, they would miss your shower.

my shower was in march, wedding in may. Shower invites went out in january bc well ppl had to know about it so they can attend. If they wouldve waited until i sent out wedding invitations then they wouldve missed my shower since my shower was march 2nd and i wasnt ready to send out wedding invites by then.

ALSO dont forget that there are some ppl who have showers like 4-5 months before their wedding, not like theyre going to send out wedding invitations 6 months before just to send out the wedding invitation first.

ETA: you also said you sent out STDs so nobody is going to wonder why you are having a shower since they already were sent an STD with your wedding date.

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So you don't have to invite every woman to the shower that you're inviting to the wedding. I had been invited to too many showers of women i barely knew because the brides FH was friends of my FI. I didn't go because i wasn't very friendly with them and wouldn't know anyone at the party. I hope i don't have to invite those women to my shower. But i'd rather have it that way- just family and close personal friends.

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yeah they say to only invite close family members and friends thats all. Some people get confused and think they HAVE to invite every woman invited to the wedding but no, like you said you probably werent comfortable and for a bride should be a bit more intimate. I wouldve had to invite like 150 women which would've been ridiculous. SOme ppl probably do it that way so they can get more gifts lol.

here i copied this from a site that is about bridal shower etiquette, if you google you can find more sites with info like this:

'There's been an uncomfortable trend in recent years for large showers, where nearly everyone the bride knows gets an invite. This isn't quite what the bridal shower is supposed to be, though. At least by tradition, a bridal shower's meant to be a small, intimate gathering of the bride's closest friends and family.

Who the guest list should include: the wedding party, the mothers of the bride and groom, sisters of the bride and groom, and the bride's closest friends and/or coworkers. Contrary to some recent practices, it probably shouldn't include every woman invited to the wedding. '

My wedding invites went out first because my shower was 1.5 months before the wedding.

My invites were sent out 2 months before the wedding.