shower planning frustrations

This post was edited - I talked to my friends last night and they agreed to take a back seat to the planning. It makes everything easier for me to deal with an I am happy with that.

Wow - what a position you're in.

My advice to you is what I would do.
Because I too am leaving the Baby shower planning (when that time comes) only up to my FAMILY. After the Bridal shower, I decided that also.

If I were in your shoes, I would kindly REMIND them of your wishes and tell them tht the shower is being planned by your FAMILY. No space for further discussion. They are being totally UNFAIR, especially the way they called your sister, telling her so matter-of-factly. What the heck is that all about? Sounds to me like they are deliberately trying to take control, and that's not fair.

They may just really want to do this, but it's a baby shower, and usually the family plans it anyway.
Put your foot down, and if they don't like it, then their hearts are not in the right place. This is not about a power struggle, and they need to realize that.

This is MY opinion.

Good Luck

Liz, you are so right - its about them having control and getting all the praise for it. They are all only children or the only girl, so I guess they relied heavily on female friends. As did I, but I also am very family oriented and to me, family comes first.

I just don't know how to say it politely that they've overstepped their bounds and not have them think I don't appreciate them. They can certainly help out with the shower, like favors or decorations, but no, they want to pick the place, date, time, etc.

Thank you for your honest opinion. Makes me seem like I did the fair thing.

Trish I would call your friends and let them know that you know that they are planning a shower, but that your mom and sisters are really excited about throwing your shower for you and already in the midst of planning, and you would really appreciate it if they would let your mom and sisters and mil do this for you. (I know run on sentence..lol). It stinks that you are stuck in the middle when it's your shower. I hope it all works out for you.

I agree 100% with what Liz said. I want to say it's odd that your friends were going to plan it on their own considering you have lots of family but my friend went through something somewhat similar last year with another friend starting to plan hers...meanwhile her SILs were already planning and the friend was stepping all over their feet contacting guests. I would say something once to your friends about what your wishes are and tell them you do not want to be involved beyond that. It's your shower, you shouldn't be privy to everything, you show up, show off your belly, open your piles and piles of gifts and enjoy. I'm sure it will all work out, I guess your friends got over exuberant with the excitement, hopefully they will graciously step aside so your family can handle it all.

ETA:

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its about them having control and getting all the praise for it

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BTW, that is exactly what is was with that friend of my friend that I mentioned above. It was so plainly obvious to everyone.