Shower vent!
A friend of my family in Iowa offered to throw me a Pampered Chef shower when I home for the July 4th holiday. Her daughter is a seller for them and she is doing it so her daughter gets the commission.
My mother and our family friends have already attended 1- 3 of these parties and have purchased things each time. I already have a few things and don't really need more. I don't want people to feel like they are obligated to purchase this stuff and I don't really want to be responsible for making sure this woman's daughter can pay her mortgage.
The woman was only available one afternoon that weekend as she was planning to go out of town for most of the weekend. I thought it best if I politely declined on the grounds that my plane wouldn't land in time for me to make a party that day but that I appreciated her kind offer. About a month has gone by and I get an email today offering to throw the shower and invite everyone from the local church and anyone else I want and that it's completely fine if I am not there. I can either just have people give money and then choose out of the catalog or I can register with Pampered Chef and have people pick a gift to get me.
I am completely floored!!!!! First, I am not so mercenary as to invite a million people to a shower where they will feel forced to purchase me a gift. Second, I think it would be incredibly rude to have a shower and I not be there ie then it's basically just a gift collection party then. Third, I am registered with three places - Target, Crate and Barrel and Bloomingdales. My FI and I have spent hours at these stores going through choices to get a wide range of price options and find things we actually want and need.
I know traditions are different all over the country and that I am now well immersed in east coast culture but this seems outrageous! I don't even know what to reply to the email. This seems like shockingly bad manners to me and violates a ton of etiquette rules. Am I wrong/crazy/insensitive/selfish to want a nice, normal shower with maybe tea, wine and a couple of friends from my old home town?
My mother and our family friends have already attended 1- 3 of these parties and have purchased things each time. I already have a few things and don't really need more. I don't want people to feel like they are obligated to purchase this stuff and I don't really want to be responsible for making sure this woman's daughter can pay her mortgage.
The woman was only available one afternoon that weekend as she was planning to go out of town for most of the weekend. I thought it best if I politely declined on the grounds that my plane wouldn't land in time for me to make a party that day but that I appreciated her kind offer. About a month has gone by and I get an email today offering to throw the shower and invite everyone from the local church and anyone else I want and that it's completely fine if I am not there. I can either just have people give money and then choose out of the catalog or I can register with Pampered Chef and have people pick a gift to get me.
I am completely floored!!!!! First, I am not so mercenary as to invite a million people to a shower where they will feel forced to purchase me a gift. Second, I think it would be incredibly rude to have a shower and I not be there ie then it's basically just a gift collection party then. Third, I am registered with three places - Target, Crate and Barrel and Bloomingdales. My FI and I have spent hours at these stores going through choices to get a wide range of price options and find things we actually want and need.
I know traditions are different all over the country and that I am now well immersed in east coast culture but this seems outrageous! I don't even know what to reply to the email. This seems like shockingly bad manners to me and violates a ton of etiquette rules. Am I wrong/crazy/insensitive/selfish to want a nice, normal shower with maybe tea, wine and a couple of friends from my old home town?
