Okay, I hope I do not sound like a brat but my shower situation has gotten out of hand. I am now involved with the worrying. My sister and father are supposed to be planning it (mom is deceased). Anyway, do you know what they have done? NOTHING!!! My wedding is Labor Day weekend!!! I wouldn't mind so much but now I have people asking ME and FH (friends, cousin, FSIL etc.....) what is going on!! A lot of our friends and family have plans this summer and they would like to know if they can make it or not. My sis and dad have never asked me for a shower list, asked where I have registered, have no idea how many people. What's more we have a lot of plans for the summer, nobody has offered to find out our availability. Like nothing. What is more there have been at least 2 of my friends who called my dad and offered to help. His answer: 'Don't worry it is being taken care of, she is not supposed to know about it anyway!!!' And I guess the guests aren't supposed to know about it either!!! As I said I don't want to sound like a brat but it is starting to effect FH. He knows nothing has been done and he is afraid to come to blows with my dad and cause a war about it. He doesn't want any trouble but he wants to take over the planning. He is so stressed out about this to the point that he doesn't want a bachelor party himself; he is way too concerned about me. What should I do to handle this mess? It is not my mess to handle but now I am involved!!!
brideinapril
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Re: Shower vent.... long
What I don't get is why are people calling you, the bride, about a shower that your not supposed to be involved with??
BMD'sPeanut
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perhaps it's all one huge decoy????
KathleenG
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Posted by brideinapril
What I don't get is why are people calling you, the bride, about a shower that your not supposed to be involved with??
Because they have no where else to turn!! My dad is not offering any information (because he doesn't have any). People assume, in that case, that I am the one that knows what is going on and doing the planning!!! I really feel bad for FH, he is really upset that now it is his responsiblity. I don't think it is a decoy because I confronted FH about it and he said 'I wish it was.'
kel2004
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Re: Shower vent.... long
I think your FH should talk to your father to make sure the shower is going to happen. If your father hasn't done anything, then your FH needs to take over with help from the BM that have already offered to help your dad.
Good luck!
2UNTAMED
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I personally was involved in planning my own shower, my mom was my MOH. I supplied her with the guest lists, decorationg, games, prizes, etc.. The only thing I didn't know was the restaurant. It maked it all alot easier for everyone involved and turned out great!!. I know most girls want to be surprised, but some thimes things don't go according to plan. I stepped in and helped my mother more than my own bridal party did. She was happy and less stressed and thankful for my help. I know most girls want the traditional surprised party , but at this point, I wouldn't be too concerned about it being a surprise, and instead help your FH, sister and father put it together, and have your special day. I think you will be more happier in the long run. Then you can concentrate on the wedding. I have not regrets and I had fun with all the planning. Good Luck
janwinterbridejoy
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Posted by BMD'sPeanut
perhaps it's all one huge decoy????
i was thinking the same thing
nferrandi
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Can you go to your sister? If she's the one who's supposed to be planning it with your dad, then maybe you need to light a little fire under her a$$. It didn't get that bad with my sister, but she had never thrown a shower before and wasn't sure what to do. Now that I helped her get a game plan in her mind she and my bridal party have been planning away. I have no idea what they have up their sleeves, but I'm sure it will be great. Sometimes people just need a little push. Worst case scenario, offer to step in and help with some of the planning.
