Sick to my stomach....need advice

oh Boy Christina!

I hate to say this but she has to learn by herself, no matter what you say to her she is going to do what she wants to do anyway. my best friend has been through this a BUNCH of times and for some reason she always goes back to the guy. . . . and a few time she got really made at me for telling her that she could do much better.

thanks marie

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Posted by mariedsgn

oh Boy Christina!

I hate to say this but she has to learn by herself, no matter what you say to her she is going to do what she wants to do anyway. my best friend has been through this a BUNCH of times and for some reason she always goes back to the guy. . . . and a few time she got really made at me for telling her that she could do much better.

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I agree with Marie- no matter what you say to her, I'm afraid she's just not ready to let go of him. What you, as her best friend, have to do is just be there when she finally wakes up.

So sorry this is happening!!

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Posted by StaceyWill

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Posted by mariedsgn

oh Boy Christina!

I hate to say this but she has to learn by herself, no matter what you say to her she is going to do what she wants to do anyway. my best friend has been through this a BUNCH of times and for some reason she always goes back to the guy. . . . and a few time she got really made at me for telling her that she could do much better.

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I agree with Marie- no matter what you say to her, I'm afraid she's just not ready to let go of him. What you, as her best friend, have to do is just be there when she finally wakes up.

So sorry this is happening!!

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thanks...ughh so hard! i literally just want to strangle this guy for doing this to her and fh is so beyond-shes like a sister to him...

honestly, people are going to do what they want to do and same as hear what they want to hear.

all i can is, please just be there for her b/c she's going to need it

The best thing you can say is say nothing. She might turn on you then your friendship is in jeopardy. I found this out the hard way when i warned a friend that her man was cheating. I saw it with my own eyes and have pcitures on my phone but she didnt want to see them. She was so hurt that she had to lash out and she did it at me. The only thing you can do is sit back and hope that she figures it out.

Whats more important.....saving your friend from a world of hurt or continuing your friendship with her?

thanks ladies... totally the advice i would give to everyone else...i just- like i said so much harder to do-but i know you are all right...

yea, my MOH went through something similar, but a little more serious.. I wont go into details.

there's not much you can do. you just need to give her space, while reminding her you're still there.

honestly mine was a little jealous, because I still had a wedding to plan (she was engaged) and she didn't want to hang out because she'd see us together...
she's a lot better now, but its still weird, she brings up the drama a lot.. but doesnt want to hear what I say (because in her eyes I dont know what she's going through- meanwhile um I do)

sorry.... just ask her 'do you want to talk about it?' text her every 5-7 days asking how she's doing, see if she's open to talking. just remind her you ARE there for her.

you just have to listen and be there. You can't make some one see something they are not ready to see. maybe this will give you hope:

a friend of mine dated a guy for 2 or 3 years i neever like him, was still not engaged at the 2 or 3 year mark, gave an untilmatum, got engaged. I was upset... she could do better, he was taking advantage of her, using her, her money, cheating, etc. she never got excited about the wedding, and i was at the point that i didn't want to go cause i knew it should not happen... and just prayed she woud wake up. she did THANK GOD and called off the wedding 2 months before. She had to be ready.... everyone needs to be ready!!!! she is now dating a great guy!

yeah when she's ready to see whats actually going on... she will crash need you there to help recover. so just be there. and not that you would, but i mean worst case scenario would be to say 'i told you so'

just be an open ear and a good hugger.

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Posted by depoc1011

thanks marie

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no prob! I wish that you were not dealing with this Just be there for her.

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Posted by FutureCap

you just have to listen and be there. You can't make some one see something they are not ready to see. maybe this will give you hope:

a friend of mine dated a guy for 2 or 3 years i neever like him, was still not engaged at the 2 or 3 year mark, gave an untilmatum, got engaged. I was upset... she could do better, he was taking advantage of her, using her, her money, cheating, etc. she never got excited about the wedding, and i was at the point that i didn't want to go cause i knew it should not happen... and just prayed she woud wake up. she did THANK GOD and called off the wedding 2 months before. She had to be ready.... everyone needs to be ready!!!! she is now dating a great guy!

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Do we have the same friend?

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Posted by Iluvpoodles

As she said above, stay out of it. I have a similar friend who unfortunately does not know what a healthy, normal relationship is. Be there to listen, though I know it's hard to do,but at the end of the day she chooses to be with this guy..

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i wish she never told me...all i want to do is stay out of it but i am getting detail after detail after freaking detail...

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Posted by depoc1011

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Posted by Iluvpoodles

As she said above, stay out of it. I have a similar friend who unfortunately does not know what a healthy, normal relationship is. Be there to listen, though I know it's hard to do,but at the end of the day she chooses to be with this guy..

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i wish she never told me...all i want to do is stay out of it but i am getting detail after detail after freaking detail...

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Trust me, if I was to tell you what comes out of my friends mouth, your ears were bleed. It's even worse when they can't or don't care that the behavior is dysfunctional..