*sigh* Chivalry is so dead....long

Last night, I went out to pick up DH at a bus stop not to far from our house. On the way back, we're driving, and a car load of 20-something guys speeds up along side of us in one lane in order to pass us (just to get caught at a red light, I love when people do this)...they narrowly missed sideswiping us and all the cars parked next to the lane. They scared the ever loving crap out of dh and I, and I had to swerve out of the lane to avoid being hit. I honked like crazy and managed to pull back into the lane before we were rear-ended by the car behind us in the other land.

The punks that did it, pull up next to us, open their window and scream out 'YOU F'ING HO, C***, B****'. Dh freaked out, and started screaming at them, and giving them the finger...I got scared and hit the gas because there were 5 of them and 2 of us. They started following us and then sped off.

It all got me thinking about how little respect I have seen for women lately, and how furious it gets me. It started the day of the blackout when I saw grown men (boys I will call them) overrun pregnant women and older women and children, to get seats on a bus home. It infuriated me, and this capped it off.

I am so disillusioned with men it's not even funny. I know for a fact that my DH is not capable of acting this way towards a woman. Disrespecting them so that their safety is in danger. He was ready to take on 20 men the day of the blackout to get that pregnant woman a seat on the bus (a total stranger too) and he was ready to take on 5 very irrate punks last night to defend my honor.

Where are the rest of the men in this world with the BALLS anymore????? Why are so many men such complete wimp ASSHOLES with no BALLS? What were those guys going to do to me? They didn't see that my DH was in the car when they pulled up along side of me...were they going to try and fight me??? Because I honked at them when they nearly ran me into the middle of the road and oncoming traffic?!

I know a good majority of us are married to very good men. BUT WHO THE HELL ARE ALL OF THESE OTHER ANIMALS?!

My FH tells me all the time about the men on the trains and subways that won't give up their seat for a pregnant or elderly lady. FH will always give up his seat...
The other day he was carrying a suitcase down the stairs of the Floral Park platform for a woman. FH is def. a gentleman!
A lot of the time its these 'kids' that have no respect for ANYONE!! especially women... there are no manners anymore. I blame the parents

it is terrible!!!
when i think things like this - i start to feel that i'm getting old becuse i sound like all of those old people you hear in movies.....but it's just not the same anymore.
last year, the school i waas working in was full of little adolescnet boys with NO repect for women at all - it's what they're taught at home. they could behave in their male teacher's classes, but when it came to the female teachers...forget it!
and then at open house night, when one of the boy's fathers was winking at me through my ten-minute presentation...i understood why his son was such a little darling (dripping with sarcasm).
it's just different! my brothers weren't raised to act like that...and my FH NEVER would!!!

those are just the uneducated youth that we have today!!

If all you have as examples to follow are singers that sing about treating a woman like cr@p, and actors that portray woman as sh!t...then you will aspire to that level!!

Boys and girls these days DO NOT know what it means to respect anyone!!

What scares me the most is that this is the future of our country....God help us!!

something similar happened to me and FH a few weeks ago!! we were driving in and FH was about to switch lanes but stopped at the last second because he saw the guy behind him and he laughed to himself about it (probably because I would have FREAKED out - I hate the way he drives sometimes). Anywho PSYCHO speeds up along side of us, and like Mr. Tough Guy, rolls down his window and starts screaming 'what the F** are you laughing about,' and then catches my eye and tells me that 'my boyfriend is a p*$$y' He scared the daylights out of me! I told FH not to pull up next to him when we were both caught at the red light - some people are ANIMALS and should just be killed. I wonder how their mothers sleep at night knowing they've raised such disgusting children

Exactly, the parents are to blame! if i have a boy, he is SURE to grow up to be a gentelman! Or no ice cream! EVER!

But what infuriates me most is that it's not just youth (I won't even start on what my mom goes through as a high school dean ). But what about these FULL GROWN MEN that were such *******s on the day of the black out?! DH was yelling at them when they ran in front of all of us and NOT ONE OF THEM had the guts to look him in the eye when he was doing it and respond to him! Give him a reason WHY you as a MAN should have preferential treatment over an 8 month pregnant woman!!!!

God help me if I have sons and I ever catch them acting like this.

Chivalry should be dead. What we should have instead is PEOPLE treating ALL PEOPLE with respect.

As a woman, I don't need a 50 year old guy to offer me his seat. He probably needs it more than I do.

I can carry my own boxes. I can probably change a tire faster than half the guys out there. If I get to the door first, I'll open it and hold it for whoever is coming. I don't want people to do these things for me because I am a woman.

What I want is for ANYONE to help ANYONE if they need it. If an elderly man gets on the subway, offer him your seat, whether you are male or female. If a single father gets on with a restless toddler, let him have your seat. If you are with child, I'd hope someone would give you their seat, whether man or woman.

If we just did this, imagine what a nicer world we'd live in?

I completly agree with you. I honestly think some men think treating women as equals means it is o.k. to be rude. Honestly, it is not right to treat anyone redely, weather man or woman. Hell, if I was on a bus and a man came on with crutches, I would give him my seat - it is just the right thing to do. A friend of mine takes the train to the cith all the time and has said that if other women did not give up their seats to the elderly or pregnant women, they would never get a seat.

But I can add from another prespective as well. A few years ago I was with my parents and we were walking into Fortunoff. My Dad held the door open for my Mom and me, and for a lady who was right behind us, (in maybe late 20's, early 30's). Needless to say my Dad was the untimate gentleman!! Well, she went off on him something awful. Accusing him of being anti women etc b/c he held open the door. Of coarse, my father was in shock and saying nothing back to her. Too bad for her I was there. I went right after her, in her face. NO ONE talks to my father that way. If it wasn't for him I would have beat the living cr** out of her, it was him who stopped me. I bet she thought twice after that about speaking to another older gentleman that way again.

Sorry it's long, but I think it's time for just some good old politeness from all to all!!!

Please don't misunderstand me...I am not saying I want women to be treated like children, and I agree with you 100% on the topic of giving up a seat..I do it all the time (before the MEN sitting around me do). But when it comes to things like this...**** it if ONE MAN would have the balls to move over and let a pregnant women on a bus during a blackout!

And, I don't care how capable I am of kicking someone's a$$ (of which I am very capable) I don't want to be threatened by a car load of guys because I TRIED to defend myself after nearly getting run off the road.

That's the chivalry I'm talking about.

I think that is more than just a lack of chivalry. I think it is a total lack of respect for others.

I, too, sometimes wonder - Who raises these kids?

First - I am glad you are safe.

Second - I don't know why there are ASSHOLES like that who think it's cool to do $hit like that. They should not have their license and should not be allowed on the road.

Third - I see very little respect anywhere. It starts with adults so it's only natural to filter down to children.

Last week I saw a little boy young enough to be carried - crying about something cursing at someone. I mean this 4 or 5 year old is screaming 'you Fuc*ing Bastar*' Can you imagine??? This child was not reprimanded by the person carrying him.

Even one of my friends kids - the walk all over her. They are as polite as young children can be but a 7 year old knows when his mother is on the phone and continues to scream bloody murder for her attention only to say 'Hi' is being disrespectful.

I don't know if it's because there are just too many people in this area or what. But it's pretty sad and frustrating.

LIZD, ARE YOU SERIOUSE? See, it's because of the stupid b*t*hes that one that the chivalry is dead! Those women **** me off! this their stupid ideas of 'equiality'! Good for you to tell her off!

Christine, it's stuff like this that makes me want to move to an Island somewhere and home school my children.

And Liz...I think I would have beaten her a$$.

I still get mad when I think about that. I should have punched her in the face!!! But yeah, I could not believe she would speak to someone like that. My parents would have never allowed me to speak like that. And on the cursing. OMG , if I spoke like that to my parents, or anyone else, I don't think I would be here chatting with you all today. They would have buried me. Even as an adult I did not curse in front of my parents. I am happy we were raised that way, I very rarely curse at all, even now.

My sisters kids were like that. They would tell her off using the fwork, etc, she would say nothing. I would tell them not to speak to my sister like that. In all honesty, I think they needed someone to tell them that. They very rarely cursed in front of me after telling them that a few times. Later when they were getting older, my nephew was telling a story and every other word from f this, f that, I told him it just makes him sound ignorant. They are so much better now, but it was scary.

My FMIL has 4 adopted kids and one of them hit FH's grandmother - this kid is VERY strong too. I worry that these kids will turn into the people we are talking about because they just don't listen and IMO don't get enough discipline (no rules and the mouths on them - OMG if that were me at their age I'd be choking up ivory soap every day of my life!) So I took it upon myself to tell the kid that I loved him but if I ever heard of him hitting his grandmother again I would personally beat the living daylights out of him and then explained that you do not hit people, especially your grandmother, etc. I don't really think violence is the answer, but what can you do to get through to them?

It's true... women give no respect either. When i hold the door for people, if i don't get a thank you they get a loud 'YOU'RE WELCOME!!!' i also give up my seat for the elderly/pregnant.

Liz I cannot believe someone yelled at your father for being POLITE! I can imagine how she would have reacted if he let the door close in her face.


ETS: Tracy - I do the same thing...'You're Welcome'

The other day I was going into a store and someone else got to the door a split second before me, stopped and looked like they were waiting for to open the door. Which I did and walked through. Normally I wouldn't do that - I let people out before I go in, but I am NOT your doorman.

Rebecca, DH's theory is that the first thing he's buying when I get pregnant isn't a crib, but a pair of steel toe boots.

When I was a kid I distinctly remember getting grounded for being nasty. I also remember being AFRAID to get grounded for being nasty or doing something wrong. Now, the new thing is 'time outs'. Everyone gets a 'time out' if they do something wrong. Ok, so 2 minute sitting on the couch is the equivilent of a week without playing after school or watching TV? I think the 'sentences' kids get for being bad now have softened them quite a bit. Kids don't pay for their mistakes anymore! When DH was a kid and he acted up in church, his father picked him up, yanked him out of the church and punted him home! I mean like a football! And he was GROUNDED. Not given a 'time out' to 'think' about what he's done for 10 minutes! And you know what? It scared the crap out of him and he never did it again! Now, I'm not talking about beatings here, but discipline! Something most kids just DON'T GET anymore! Most parents are happy to just stick their kids in front of a tv to shut them up for a while!

And I know I'm not a parent yet...so please don't anyone jump on me for speaking before my time. I am an aunt to 4 children, and this stuff goes down in my own family....

GOD I CAN GO ON AND ON!!!!!

I hope I'm not going to get flamed for this, but I think a lot of this is a direct result of the Women's Movement.

There was a time when the Women's Movement first got started, that women did not WANT to be treated in a chivalrous manner. They wanted to hold their OWN doors and carry their OWN packages, burn their OWN bras. Some even got offended or were rude to a man if he tried to be chivalrous.

With all the new images and ideas of women being a man's equal, wanting equal treatment and being STRONG women who can bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan, I think men no longer see us WOMEN--in the more feminine, chivalrous sense of the word. They no longer see us as NEEDING the door held.

Now naturally, we DONT need our doors held, but it sure is nice when someone does it. And I don't know about you, but when a man holds my door, or carries my heavy package, I feel GOOD about it. It doesn't make me feel WEAK, it makes me feel RESPECTED and honored.

I also think it has to do with the way we are raising our boys. Most boys are just not taught to be chivalrous anymore. They aren't taught to open doors, give up their seats and things like that. So if you combine the lack of education with the messages and images of women being STRONG, INDEPENDENT, Xena Princess Warriors, it's no wonder chivarly is dead.

And respect for others, in general, is another issue completely!! It's another thing that has gone right out the window and seems to be replaced with an attitude of 'looking out for number one!' It makes me sick.

I think we were more successful in killing chivarly and honor, than we were in gaining equality. Women are STILL not really equals in the workplace, or anywhere else. It's changing very slowly. Unfortunately, the first thing to change was the chivalry.