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signing my annulment papers tomorrow

Original post by kdelace

Thread views: 3,030

Our appt was for Monday but was cancelled b/c of the snow so its tomorrow. I am upset- reality is hitting me that my short marriage will be over- actually it will have never existed. Although I KNOW in my heart I made the right decision, it still hurts so much and I wish it didnt have to be this way.

My husband admitted to me that he has not gotten help since he left. No counselor, no therapy.. all lies.... And he is still drinking and god knows what else. Its so sad. I really loved him with all of my heart and part of me feels like a failure. But i cant force him to change. I cant force him to go the therapy, AA or any other counselor. All I know is that I cant live my life that way. Its not fair. its so cliche but we only get one shot at this life and I cant live HOPING he one will wake up. His wife leaving him was not enough. I only wish he would realize that I loved him so much and I am not doing this to hurt him. I had a hard childhood of divorce and dysfunction and i will be dam&ed if I am going to follow in those footsteps.

Anyway, just venting. I am so scared about tomorrow. My cousin is coming with me because I need a witness with me to signthe papers. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

I honestly can tell you this is one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through. Even only being married for a year, I am not leaving because I dont love him anymore, I love him because he has a serious drinking problem and will not do anything about it. And I cant sit there and watch him destry himself and take me down with him.

Wish me luck.. I will need all the strength I can to get me through this...

suven Thread views: 3,030

Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow

palebride Thread views: 3,030

Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow

I wish there was something i could do or say that would make this easier for you - you are one of the sweetest, most caring people I've ever met....and you truly don't deserve all of the hurt you've experienced.....
Please know that you will be in my thoughts.....
And I truly believe that you are doing the right thing for you.....and I can't imagine how difficult a decision it was to come to....

danigirl0 Thread views: 3,030

Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow

wow. i wish you all the best of strength tomorrow. i really admire you for making a wise decision as a woman, when many do not. i know you feel guilt and sorrow over this, and i am sure a lot of it is because of things he may have said or done. you ARE right about living once. and with all of our freedoms and opportunitites it would be wrong for you to subject yourself to something that may eventually put you and your future children in danger.

when you feel guilty, remorseful, and all of your other versions of emotions, remember that you are a role model for those who do not have the strenght that you do to recognize a problem and do something about it. as you said, your husband had the chance to change, and rather than seeing this as a wakeup call, he continued with lies and manipulation.

good luck. i dont know you, but i am proud of you!

Moehick Thread views: 3,030

Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow

Your a strong girl and are doing the right thing, especially since now you know he never got help and is still up to his old tricks!

Tomorrow after you sign those papers is the start of a whole new life.

JodiBabe Thread views: 3,030

Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow

Kristi

Sasha96 Thread views: 3,030

Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow

we're here for you now and if you need us tomorrow you know where to find us!

mrswask Thread views: 3,030

Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow

We love you Kristi!!!

Summerbride04 Thread views: 3,030

Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow

lbf404 Thread views: 3,030

Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow

Stay strong- you have the love and support of all of us here on the boards.

beachgirl13 Thread views: 3,030

Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow

Good luck. So sorry you are going through this.

kdelace Thread views: 3,030

Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow

thanks everyone for all of your support. i appreciate your kind words...

please also say a prayer for my poor dad. He has to go in for exploratory knee surgery tomorrow... too many things going on in the family tomorrow.....

lvdolphins Thread views: 3,030

Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow

luvsbob4603 Thread views: 3,030

Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow

Lots of hugs for you! :

ETA: Just know what you are doing tomorrow is what is best for you! you dont need someone who is lying to you about not going to couseling and drinking. you are a very beautiful woman and you will meet that right person when you are ready and just know we are here for you always.

salsbride06 Thread views: 3,030

Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow

we love you and we are here for you. i think that maybe this will help him realize what a good thing he is losing. god bless you

Cindy Thread views: 3,030

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Samanthas Mom Thread views: 3,030

Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow

I am so sorry, I hope you get a fresh new start and build a new life for yourself

BethGail Thread views: 3,030

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allure Thread views: 3,030

Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow

Wishing you all the best
Keep The Faith Within Yourself

june262004 Thread views: 3,030

Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow

Kristi Now you are making the right decision. It is not a failure and you are NOT a failure. After all of this he lied to you by telling you he was getting help which he wasn't. He doesn't want to change. So many to you. And remember we all love you here and are here to listen.

FeliciaDA Thread views: 3,030

Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow

Kristi , I will be thinking about you tomorrow sweetie I know that this is probably the most difficult decision you have ever made, but I feel from your words and the way you have expressed yourself (especially tonight) that this is truly what you need to do - now the time has come to put some distance between you and this relationship, and find some closure to this sad chapter in your life. You are strong, and you WILL get through this!

Try to make peace with your decision in the coming weeks and also try to keep in mind that there is a wonderful future ahead of you. You seem like such a amazing woman and you have much to offer this world. One day you will have everything you deserve and more - and I firmly believe will find true happiness in all aspects of your life .

As all the other ladies and gents have said, we are here to support you and we love you! And I'm only an FM away if you ever need to chat!