Since many of you are from L.I........

KathleenG Posted: Jun 11, 2004 12:16 PM

Since many of you are from L.I........

I need honest opinions. I got word that my dad and sister (who are organizing my shower) are having it in Manhattan. My immediate family is there but I am in Brooklyn. I could care either way where my shower is but FH has said early on that if it was in the city, A LOT of people wouldn't show. A huge chunk of the list (more than half) is from L.I. He already said that both his sister's and mom would not come. We already gathered that many of my family dislike going into the city. My question is: Should this be such a big deal? I just went to my FSIL's shower without question and it was two hours away. I understand many people have issues, but I am talking about people who I am close with ie. close family members as well as his family. By the way, most if not all of the Long Island people come from Nassau; they are not even all the way out East (which would be somewhat understandable if that was a problem). Any opinions?

wc0143 Posted: Jun 11, 2004 12:20 PM

Re: Since many of you are from L.I........

For someone important to me, it would not matter where there shower was located!

I would be more concerned for YOU - where will all the gifts be going after and how will you get them there?

Let me edit to say though - when my shower was being planned, since the majority of people (family & some friends) were located in LI (suffolk mostly & kinda east) I recommended eastern nassau/suffolk (and basically easy to find). Also thought it was as important that it be convenient during the planning stages for my MOH & DH (he was helping out since my mom lives in SC).

May152005 Posted: Jun 11, 2004 12:22 PM

Re: Since many of you are from L.I........

Posted by wc0143

For someone important to me, it would not matter where there shower was located!

I would be more concerned for YOU - where will all the gifts be going after and how will you get them there?

I agree!!! I'm sure all of your closest friends & family members will attend-regardless of how far they have to travel.

BridalBliss Posted: Jun 11, 2004 12:22 PM

Re: Since many of you are from L.I........

I live all the way out on LI and I've gone to showers in Staten Island, NJ, anywhere they were b/c the person was important to me.
Good Luck!

jfabbride Posted: Jun 11, 2004 12:23 PM

Re: Since many of you are from L.I........

My friend had her shower in the city..although at first I was a tad ticked off, I wouldn't even think of not attending because of where it was. It turned out to be a great shower and I carpooled with some other firends and we had a great time driving in and out of the city.

Your family should realize this is about you and be able to put aside their issues with going to the city for one day!!!!

tourist Posted: Jun 11, 2004 12:30 PM

Re: Since many of you are from L.I........

I think manhattn is easier because you can take the train. I don't have a car, & didn't go to a shower on LI ( i'm in Wstchester now) b/c of it.

I've had 2 in Manhattan on Sudanys & it was easy.

I do know a lot of peope on LI who don't do the whole city thing. I think its weird.

Esepcially since when my friend in CT got maried about 8 of us from this area wnt to her shwer. i was on the damn Metro North FOREVER!, but I went.

Jax430 Posted: Jun 11, 2004 12:35 PM

Re: Since many of you are from L.I........

IMO, the city is one of the best places to have it, b/c people from everywhere in the area could commute in easily. I have noticed that many LIers as well as SIers become very 'island-centric' and get all pissy about going somewhere off their respective island. If they care about you, they'll make the effort to be there. My bridal shower was on SI, where my parents and I live, but my friends and family came from all over.

ChristineC68 Posted: Jun 11, 2004 12:36 PM

Re: Since many of you are from L.I........

If I were inclined to go to a shower, I would go no matter where it is. I have gone to Staten Island, Suffolk & Westchester counties and NJ for showers/parties for people that are close/important to me.

I am shocked that your FMIL & FSIL are not going because it's in Manhattan

kiwijonze Posted: Jun 11, 2004 12:42 PM

Re: Since many of you are from L.I........

I agree, it shouldn't be a big deal at all to travel to the city. But some people just have a major aversion to leaving the 'burbs...I guess they get nervous about driving/parking, or maybe the public transporation freaks them out.

Rob-luvs-me Posted: Jun 11, 2004 01:00 PM

Re: Since many of you are from L.I........

Honestly that is BS that they won't come - unless they are very elderly and have no way to get there I don't think it should be an issue NYC is easy to get to from nassau - I had people come to my shower in nassau from staten island, manhattan, New Jersey, Connecticut and they all were excited about it.

KathleenG Posted: Jun 11, 2004 01:02 PM

Re: Since many of you are from L.I........

Thanks ladies so much for the feedback!!! I thought I was insane!! I don't see what the huge issue is; people go to events all the time that require travelling. I guess the people I know are just odd. My FH said that one of his sisters and his mom definitely would not come. They didn't go to our engagement party because it was in the city as well.

brideinapril Posted: Jun 11, 2004 01:05 PM

Re: Since many of you are from L.I........

I would have to agree also, it would not matter where the shower is, if the person was important to me I would go no matter what!

ChristineC68 Posted: Jun 11, 2004 01:06 PM

Re: Since many of you are from L.I........

Posted by KathleenG

Thanks ladies so much for the feedback!!! I thought I was insane!! I don't see what the huge issue is; people go to events all the time that require travelling. I guess the people I know are just odd. My FH said that one of his sisters and his mom definitely would not come. They didn't go to our engagement party because it was in the city as well.

I wonder how they would feel if you boycotted Long Island events? You are very far from insane!!

martie331 Posted: Jun 11, 2004 01:07 PM

Re: Since many of you are from L.I........

I'm having similar complaints from my family about my wedding location.. its probably going to be in Manhattan, but the majority of my relatives are on LI-- I'm so sick of hearing about how this person or that person won't come into the city! My feeling is, if they really want to come, they'll come, no matter where it is, and if they don't, fine, it will great no matter what!

BCTM33 Posted: Jun 11, 2004 01:07 PM

Re: Since many of you are from L.I........

I have schlepped (sp?) all over LI, Westchester, NJ and CT for showers and weddings and I think I deserve the same courtesy back. End of story...

september2004 Posted: Jun 11, 2004 01:20 PM

Re: Since many of you are from L.I........

it totally depends on the day and time...

if it's a saturday afternoon, i say no big deal. if it's on a weekday or a sunday evening, i can understand the 'gripes'... not to say i wouldn't go, but i just can understand why people would find it inconvenient.

Niecey Posted: Jun 11, 2004 01:21 PM

Re: Since many of you are from L.I........

Posted by ChristineC68

If I were inclined to go to a shower, I would go no matter where it is. I have gone to Staten Island, Suffolk & Westchester counties and NJ for showers/parties for people that are close/important to me.

I am shocked that your FMIL & FSIL are not going because it's in Manhattan

100% agree.

Personally, I find it rude for your inlaws to say they won't come. I could see that they may be a little scared of NYC or worried about parking or not liking to drive in LI but to say they won't find away for the som's wife to be. I would take offense.

nferrandi Posted: Jun 11, 2004 04:25 PM

Re: Since many of you are from L.I........

I would definitley be offended that your FMIL and FSIL won't attend your shower if it's in the city, that's BS! Would it change anything if you said something to them? Maybe they think it's not a big deal and if you let them know that it's important to you, maybe they'll go. People gave me a hard time about where the wedding would be because we live in Westchester. My comeback was always 'have you been to Jones Beach before? Well if you can drive all the way out to the beach, you can drive to my wedding.'

swags1016 Posted: Jun 11, 2004 04:59 PM

Re: Since many of you are from L.I........

I have to say, I am one of the people that never goes to the city, unless I am with someone that knows it well. I am clueless when it comes to the city! I would have less of an issue with going to Jersey then I would to the city. If it were someone really important to me and I really felt I had to go, then I would have to make DH take me, make sure I get there and meet me after. I have no sense of direction in the city and probably would never find the place.

BlondeJD Posted: Jun 11, 2004 05:30 PM

Re: Since many of you are from L.I........

That's ridiculous! People travel from LI to NYC for work all the time, so what's the big deal about taking a 45-60 minute train to have a shower?? I've driven to the middle of Pennsylvania for a baby shower and drove 5.5 hours home from college to go to my SIL's shower. I can't believe your FH's mother and sister won't even go! It's not like they have to drive or anything. Even if they aren't familiar with the city, it's not that hard to get on the train, walk outside of Penn, and wait at the taxi stand.