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Single guests: with or without a date?

tbone66 Posted:

Single guests: with or without a date?

Trying to shorten our guest list as it has grown alot.

Are you inviting your single guests with a guest?

Most of our guests are couples and then there are about 20 singles. We really don't want to invite them with random dates but I feel like people might get mad if they are invited as a single.

What are you doing?
Kara and Todd Posted:

Re: Single guests: with or without a date?

I am of the opinion that all adults should be invited with a date. There are, however, plenty of people who disagree with me.

I'd personally find it rude to be invited without a date. I haven't been invited without one since I was 17... and it bugged me then b/c I had a serious boyfriend. (I took HS romance way too seriously! LOL)


ETA - Att he same time, I find it rude when very single people bring random dates to weddings even though they know people there.

You know what you can / can't afford and know your guests best, so the decision is up to you... but I would try to invite people with guests if you can. JMHO.
Soon2beMrsH Posted:

Re: Single guests: with or without a date?

Anyone over the age of 18 is being invited with a date.

portjeffbride Posted:

Re: Single guests: with or without a date?

years ago, I was that single.... and I totally resented being forced to show-up alone. you don't realize how coupled-up everyone is at a wedding until you're without a date. It's not like night out to dinner with friends.....

most of the time, everyone is paired up and dancing. there is literally nothing for a single to do 80% of the time except either watch them, or bud in, and play third wheel. It's a very humbling experience. The cherry that tops off the evening is when all the singles are herded onto the dance floor and a bo-k is tossed. Really fun when you're 20, a rather upsetting moment when you're 30, and most of your friends are already married.

At our wedding, even the guests who are completely unattached were offered to bring a date.... and EVERY one of them is coming as a couple.... proof that I was not the only one with these experiences....
DandS Posted:

Re: Single guests: with or without a date?

We had at least 20 guests that we single or not serious with someone at the time and we invited them all with a guest. Not one person just brought anyone. Some of them brought a guest if they were seeing the person (but not just a random person) and most came solo. I don't think that your friends will bring just anyone to your wedding. We had about 10 of DH's friends all come together and agree to go solo with each other. That was their decision though. I would not have felt right not giving them the choice whether to go alone or with someone. I understand wanting to cut back the list, but I would invite them with a guest (JMO) and hopefully they do the right thing and not respond yes for a guest if they are not with someone.

October Bliss Posted:

Re: Single guests: with or without a date?

After my cousin showed up at my sister's wedding with a professional - I refused to invite anyone not in a serious relationship with a date.

Autumn08 Posted:

Re: Single guests: with or without a date?


Posted by October Bliss

After my cousin showed up at my sister's wedding with a professional - I refused to invite anyone not in a serious relationship with a date.



A professional? Like a rent a date!
tbone66 Posted:

Re: Single guests: with or without a date?



Both FH and myself are in our thirties so alot of our friends are married, etc.

I do recall getting invited to many weddings without a date in my twenties though.
Kara and Todd Posted:

Re: Single guests: with or without a date?


Posted by portjeffbride

years ago, I was that single.... and I totally resented being forced to show-up alone. you don't realize how coupled-up everyone is at a wedding until you're without a date. It's not like night out to dinner with friends.....

most of the time, everyone is paired up and dancing. there is literally nothing for a single to do 80% of the time except either watch them, or bud in, and play third wheel. It's a very humbling experience. The cherry that tops off the evening is when all the singles are herded onto the dance floor and a bo-k is tossed. Really fun when you're 20, a rather upsetting moment when you're 30, and most of your friends are already married.

At our wedding, even the guests who are completely unattached were offered to bring a date.... and EVERY one of them is coming as a couple.... proof that I was not the only one with these experiences....



Very well said, and I've been there, too. I completely agree.
erdbeere Posted:

Re: Single guests: with or without a date?

We really just want a small, intimate weddign with our closest friends and family, and we have a small budget. So the only people who get to bring a date are those whoa re atleast dating someone. I seriously don't want to have to pay for random people at my wedding, especially since EVERYONE who is coming knows other people.

Aug06 Posted:

Re: Single guests: with or without a date?

All of my single friends know each other so we are only inviting people in a relationship with a date.

Espo22 Posted:

Re: Single guests: with or without a date?

We're gonna invite everyone with a guest...i know some dont do this though for many reasons

Flutterbye922 Posted:

Re: Single guests: with or without a date?

I am inviting anyone 18 and over with a date. Hopefully they won't bring one, but I think, since they are an adult, they should have the option

jsta76 Posted:

Re: Single guests: with or without a date?

The only one's we're inviting with dates (that aren't married) are GM/BM and two couples who have been together for more close to if not more than 5 years.

If i haven't met them, they aren't serious enough LOL. IMO, im trying to keep it small and intimate and if we invite one person with a guest everyone else will want to as well. It's just too expensive to do that.
thelastresort Posted:

Re: Single guests: with or without a date?


Posted by October Bliss

After my cousin showed up at my sister's wedding with a professional - I refused to invite anyone not in a serious relationship with a date.



That's hilarious! Sorry for your sister but at least it gave the family something to talk about!

I agree with portjeffbride and Kara. I hated it when I was not invited with a date and everyone else had someone there. Especially if you are in your 30's and most are paired up.
Ericab1980 Posted:

Re: Single guests: with or without a date?

We just had this convo with FIL.

His grandma called and said 'can lil richie(her grandson) bring his girlfriend'. FH parents said NO because he lives with his parents and he's only 17 or 18. I say sure why not, what is lil richie gonna do sit there with his family at the table? OR bring his lil girlfriend and dance and have a good time? they saw it my way

If you can afford it why not, but if the singles know other guest than I would just invite single sans +1


08JulyBride Posted:

Re: Single guests: with or without a date?

In my opinion, everyone over 18 should be given the option on bringing a guest. They are adults, they should be able to choose for themselves if their relationship is serious enough to attend a wedding together. When you are single, you feel bad when all the couples get up to slow dance or you're left there without a partner. Even when you know other people there, it's nice to have the option of getting up to dance - most people don't like to dance without their own partner. Plus DJ's always love to say 'Everyone out on the dancefloor!' That's hard to do if they weren't allowed to bring a guest.

Plus, most people know that if they bring a guest to give a larger gift than if they had come alone (and the extra $ in the gift may even cover that 2nd plate)..
MissAngel Posted:

Re: Single guests: with or without a date?


Posted by Soon2beMrsH

Anyone over the age of 18 is being invited with a date.



We're doing the same thing & we honestly don't mind if anyone brings a random friend since we know that it's someone that they'll have fun with.

We've kept our guest list under control by just making the usual decisions on how to cut (i.e. we cut past a certain generation of family members, coworkers not in our actual departments , etc). It was hard, but we did it. In the end, we feel that we're only going to have the people that we're the closest with & the person that they're the closest with (friend, date, whatever)...and (not to sound cheesy, but...) that should make for a fun & happy day all around!
2Be1 Posted:

Re: Single guests: with or without a date?

Unless its your long term SO, fiance or spouse NO

MalteseMommy Posted:

Re: Single guests: with or without a date?

For us...we are inviting everyone with a guest. I would feel personally bad not to do it that way. But a lot of my single friends who are not in serious relationsips have already told me they don't plan on bringing anyone since they know a lot of people attending the wedding. I at least wanted to give everyone that option so they wouldn't feel uncomfortable coming alone. But really that was just what I felt comfortable doing.

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