Sit down for this one!

An important thing to think about is not how to get the job but whether you would want to even work there once you got the job - no matter how great this position sounds, would you even want to work for a company with this type of corporate culture?? These might not be the type of people you'd want spend 10 hours every day with.

That being said, I agree with what Jen said earlier. If you had to choose b/w a pregnant candidate and a non-pregnant candidate with the same qualifications, then why would you pick the one who would be going on maternity leave in a few months...Is this fair to women? NO...But business is business and as a job seeker, you have to be smart and play by their rules until you get the job.
I would definitely take off my rings in an interview...Although i think that dying my hair might be too drastic....

Also, I'm confused - isn't it illegal to ask someone if they are married or have children during an interview??

Just edited to say that I disagree about corporate America being a man's world. In this day and age, this is only an excuse (in most cases). Any woman with the smarts and dedication can succeed. It's just that the women make the choice many times to put their families or other obligations first. Men don't need to make this choice as often.

do you know this lady? Maybe she is jealous of your hair and your ring?

woman have to work a lot harder to prove themselves.

we have to hide our rings, when married some chose to not change there name or hyphen it because business wise they dont think its smart to do, woman have to play in a mans world and its a lot harder.

in my old firm, i wore a skirt that was to my knee, nice shoes, a sweater tank, and a long sleeve sweater and i got talked to that my skirt was too short.

its just the way the world is.

I've seen the best and the ultimate worst of the financial world and woman get stepped on.

a few years ago at my old firm, they announced promotions and of the 25 promotions 4 were woman. those woman who got promoted were with the company for years where some of the men who were promoted were there for a year or 2.

its a tough world and woman have to work 4x as hard to be ahead

It is illegal to ask someone if they are married or have children, but with a ring or maternity wear, then one doesn't have to ask to know the answer.

I don't think the HR girl was rude. She was just trying to give you a 'heads up'. She didn't have to tell you anything, she was only trying to be helpful. Some people have no clue when it comes to interviewing (that's not to say that is the case for you) and I'm sure she has seen some interesting 'cases'. Any HR girls here that can attest to that?

As much as we don't like or agree with it, the real world is unfair. If ya' wanna' win, ya' gotta' play! Of course you have the option not to, but I know if I wanted the job bad enough, I would want the 'odds' in my favor. (just my .02)

Chip, I am not refuting your experience. I guess I have just been lucky. Most of the women I know and work with are very successful in the business world. The ones who 'never made it' are the ones who did so by choice - they opted to have families instead.
I'm sure that there are companies out there where women are looked down upon, but for every one of those there is also a place where women are judged on their talent. JMHO

Michelle W

I hear you on not losing who you are. But sometimes it doesn't outweigh the fact that the bills still need to get paid. I made a choice to play in corporate America. Financial companies tend to be more men than women. So if I plan on keeping one step ahead of my male co-workers than I need to be willing to make some sacrifices.

At the end of the day I can say I love my job and can be proud of where I am. Which is a nice feeling.

Will the world ever change?

I think the financial world may always be like that

Figures that is where the big bucks are.

I am not taking anything to offense. It some fields woman have been very lucky and successful, and in some fields woman have to work so hard to prove themselves.

Banking, Financial, etc..its very hard and woman are stepped on. Retail, teaching, woman are put on pedastals.

Sonicstef said it best, finance is 19th century

JenHos - I just made that comment on the blondes directed to the HR girl that made that suggestion to Theresa. She really should have kept her mouth shut. IMO.

DKGA - sure its illegal to ask questions regarding marriage on an interview.
But isnt everything else we're talking about here illegal ?
(NOT hiring someone who is pregnant or older, not promoting someone because that person is female, ETC ETC ETC ETC.)
As everyone has said 'we have to play the game'.

Chippa - about women in retail (BOY, have I been there). they are put so HIGH on that **** pedestal that they are bitter, arrogant, COLD BI%%$ES.
95% of the women in the retail world (mostly buyers) are inhumane and are married to their jobs. (have nothing else going on). So they want to drag you into their misery of working 48 hours a day.. I was doing pretty well as an Assistant Buyer (over 5 years ago), but I left that industry altogether because of the women I worked with... The whole culture was not for me.
Alot of phoniness, brownnosers, just not me.

Ok - sorry this is a topic that sits close to me - so this will be long.

Jenny5150 - I am agreeing with you. I think alot of people are clueless about how to dress and act on an interview and depending on what field you work in, the rules are different. (although I don't think telling you to color your hair should change was very nice - blonde is pretty normal - maybe if she said pull it back or something then I would be ok.)Also, besides your work experience, when you apply for a job, they are looking for someone with the whole package. They want someone smart and with good experience but they also want someone professional (esp. in fields like finance). Dressing appropriate is a sign of a professional person.

On the other hand, we all hate hearing these things and being reminded that in the business world these stereotypes exist and hold woman back. I think woman have to work so much harder to earn respect and the money and titles that men achieve. Do I think it is impossible, no but it is harder...so if you have to play by some rules to get the in, then do it.

I struggle with stereotypes all the time. I am in computers. A very male dominated field and often requires manual labor. Wiring, manual labor, etc. - doesn't alway equal woman. I consider myself somewhat stylish and do not look like a stero-typical computer geek. Also, I look a lot younger than what I am - that makes things worse. Well, I am out to prove them wrong. At my current company, I am fortunate that my boss is a woman. I have risen to the rank of IT Manager. However, I deal with people asking me my age, people going to my male staff members rather than me for the sheer reason they are males (it is very evident). It has all made me work harder! I make sure I dress appropriate to work everyday. My attire is suits every day. i will never wear short skirts (always to the knee). I always fix my hair and makeup neatly. I have woman tell me I have a good figure and sould show it off - I save that for when I go out to the bars/clubs/dinner. I always keep and act professionally!

I hope to start looking soon and have to prepare myself for the pressure and stereotypes (you would be surprised what I have heard on interviews!)

I want to climb HIGH on the latter of corporate America Female or NOT..

So I won't change my hair color or who I am but I will curb what needs to be to get the JOB..

Once I am there, They won't know what hit them..

I am about putting in my hrs getting the job done and making the $$ I deserve!

That is all!!

Jenho's you TOOK alot of the words right out of my mouth..

If I had my hair in pigtails it doesn't effect what I do all day and who I am.. RIGHT?

when i got home last night i was telling brian about this post and he reminded me of 2 recent experiences i had on a job interview.

1. with a huge fortune 500 company. on the phone they were telling me how impressed they were with my resume and wanted me to come in. i go in and i got ripped apart by the HR lady telling me that as an english major my grammer on my resume ****ed. She started yelling at me how yes the computer does the spell check, but as a student who went to a top accredited college as an english major i should know proper grammer and should proofread all my material. I told her listen to me lady, i have had my resume reviewed by 5 friends, 3 VP's from my old firm, and numerous other professional people and all have given me numerous amounts of feedback which is how i created this resume. further more, i was responsible for proof reading the programers administrators binder when i was with Amex. this binder gets sent to all of our corp. card clients. i was spearheading that project and i had to make sure all the 'i's' were dotted and 't's' were crossed and believe me there was not one error in that book when i was done.

i got up and walked out.

2. on the flip side, i went to a finance company for an interview. I was to meet with Noel at 10:30. I show up at 10:00, was kept waiting by reception for 45 minutes. Finally this guy comes over to me and says please come to the conference room. I sit and he literally must have just gotten handed my resume because he was beyond unprepared to do an interview. he asked me 3 questions then someone interupted us that an urgent call had to be picked up. so he took the call in front of me. he was on the phone for 20 minutes. then he asked me 2 more questions and said ok i'll go get noel. he left me in this room for almost an hour. another guy comes in and asks me my name and then says ok i'll be right back. yea about 45 minutes later. he comes back and basically shoved me out the door telling me Noel was behind closed doors and have a nice day.

I was beyond PI&^*)ed off with that one.

its a tough world out there and sometimes the companies are no bargain either

Ha ha, chippa, your 2nd story reminded me of a few of my interviewing days!!!

I have also had once an interviewer show up with a shirt only half way tucked in (i.e. one side of the flaps was hanging out the other one tucked in). I found that to be the top of the rudest things.

I actually did hire a young lady that came to our office interviewing for a position as my assistant.
According to her resume, she seemed qualified even though she looked a little sloppy, so I considered the fact that we are a construction company and maybe she didn't realize that it didn't matter where you are interviewing, you should always look top notch. She also had the worst dye job I ever saw.
So she's not with us a month before she's coming in late every morning stinking of alcohol, turns out she's a huge partyer and the kicker? She calls in one day that she doesn't know if she'll be in the rest of the week cause her stylist burnt her hair so badly ( I guess with chemicals or bleach) she can't leave the house.
Umm yeah...... BUH BYE! Next time I go with my gut!