Slight Hair Drama - Help Needed

So my MOH (cousin- but we're not close, I had to choose her b/c of family issues) wants to have the same hairstyle as me (which will be down and wavy). Can I make all the BM's wear updo's or would that be unfair to all the other girls (and look weird in the photos since I'm wearing a downdo)? Or should I just tell the hair stylist (who will think I'm crazy probably) not to give my MOH the same hairstyle. Keep in mind, this is the same MOH that keeps telling me she has to look better than me that day.

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Posted by Soon-to-be-Moore

Did she out and out say she wanted the same do? If not, you can say, oh that is really close to what I'm having - maybe you can vary it a bit because we don't want to look exactly the same... make her feel like she should realize this is wrong

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Yes, I showed her my hair trial pics, stupid me, and she's like oh it looks really nice! I'm going to do that too!

Smack your MOH in the head and tell her that no, she cannot wear the same hairstyle as the bride. It's jsut not done.

Perhaps she can wear her hair half up/half down with that wavy look.
Yes, you can request that all your BM wear their hair up. Just not all in the same style please.

#1.

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Keep in mind, this is the same MOH that keeps telling me she has to look better than me that day.

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WHAT?! Screw that it's your wedding!

#2. Even if she wasn't such a b*tch I'd say tell the hair dresser she can have any hair she wants, just not your hair.


I'm having my hair half up and half down, and I told my hair dresser (who is ironically my cousin) that I wanted everyone to have their hair down. I don't care what they do with it, as long as its down.

So maybe you should give people an option to go with updo's or down hair and then let them pick specifically what they want. I don't think it will matter too much as far as not matching your hair.

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Posted by SusiBtoM

Smack your MOH in the head and tell her that no, she cannot wear the same hairstyle as the bride. It's jsut not done.

Perhaps she can wear her hair half up/half down with that wavy look.
Yes, you can request that all your BM wear their hair up. Just not all in the same style please.

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agreed. i wouldn't try to go around it - tell her directly in a nice way. THEN tell the hairdresser so u have all ur t's crossed & i's dotted and dont have to worry. i told all my girls i just didn't want their hair down in their face - but that they could pretty much do whatever they wanted. U can tell them to have it all up - it's ur day! however i'd let them choose the style because what works for some may not work for others when it comes to face shape, hair texture, etc. and u want all ur girls to feel comfortable! Worst case scenario, if she DID wear her hair the same(which she wont 'cause ur gonna take care of it ) NOONE will notice or even think that 'she looks the same as you'...you will stand out no matter what the case may be & all eyes will be on you!

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Posted by fujamaga

Yes, I showed her my hair trial pics, stupid me, and she's like oh it looks really nice! I'm going to do that too!

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some people are just so stupid & don't get it!!!

hahah its funny b/c at first I thought I was overacting, but I'm glad to know she is argh!

I am asking all my girls to wear up-do's.
Your day, your call!

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Posted by JozyLee123

I am asking all my girls to wear up-do's.
Your day, your call!

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I love that statement!

Oh me and my MOH would be fighting if she even tried to do that to me.....does she understand that YOU ARE THE BRIDE not her.....I would have to be honest with her and tell her that you dont want anyone with the same Do as you. That's some nerve shes got....unless she thinks it wouldnt bother you, but who would do that?

Good Luck with this

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Posted by maggiejoe

Oh me and my MOH would be fighting if she even tried to do that to me.....does she understand that YOU ARE THE BRIDE not her.....I would have to be honest with her and tell her that you dont want anyone with the same Do as you. That's some nerve shes got....unless she thinks it wouldnt bother you, but who would do that?

Good Luck with this

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Haha, she just doesn't care if I'm upset - like I said we're not close - I just wish I was never pushed into asking her

But now that I have everyone's 'permission' I'm going to tell the hair stylist

You need to put ur MOH in her place ... first off she cant look better than you .. you ned to make her dress extraaaa ugly ...perhaps somthing that will make her look fat .. second you need to tell her hair dreser just in case she tries to pull some kind of sneaky stunt and i think you should see how the girls look with there hair in diff and then narrow it down from there ... since all head sizez are diff u have to pick some thing that looks good on all.. and my hat goes off to you cuz i would not have a cousin in my party if we didnt speak they would get a big FU from me ...xoxoxo

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Posted by Reymiliz

You need to put ur MOH in her place ... first off she cant look better than you .. you ned to make her dress extraaaa ugly ...perhaps somthing that will make her look fat .. second you need to tell her hair dreser just in case she tries to pull some kind of sneaky stunt and i think you should see how the girls look with there hair in diff and then narrow it down from there ... since all head sizez are diff u have to pick some thing that looks good on all.. and my hat goes off to you cuz i would not have a cousin in my party if we didnt speak they would get a big FU from me ...xoxoxo

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Haha You're so funny! We already picked her dress at David's Bridal - the rep there was AWESOME!! She could tell my cousin was annoying me with her 'I have to look better than you' comments b/c she brought the dress my cousin requested in a size 20 (my cousin is a size 2) and said here you go! My cousin was extremely upset!

first off... ewww! Your MOH is totally being a biatch! I can't believe she would have the never to say things like that to you... but you have to chalk it up to the fact that she's probably so green with jealousy since you are getting married that she would behave this way. I'm sorry that she's being a pain in the butt.

secondly, I would just send a mass email to all my bridesmaids telling them that you want them ALL to do updos for the event, don't say a thing personally to her and just tell the hairdresser that you prefer all your girls to have their hair in updos and tell them that they can make minor suggestions to how it'll look but it has to be done up for them. then I would call it a day.

good luck with dealing with her

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Posted by fujamaga

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Posted by maggiejoe

Oh me and my MOH would be fighting if she even tried to do that to me.....does she understand that YOU ARE THE BRIDE not her.....I would have to be honest with her and tell her that you dont want anyone with the same Do as you. That's some nerve shes got....unless she thinks it wouldnt bother you, but who would do that?

Good Luck with this

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Haha, she just doesn't care if I'm upset - like I said we're not close - I just wish I was never pushed into asking her

But now that I have everyone's 'permission' I'm going to tell the hair stylist

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I really cant believe this--- I would tell her-- hair up or shes out-- you have enough aggravation and stress from the actual wedding to have to stress about a selfish moh who is there just because--- I would deff tell her that you will not have it and make it clear because she can give the hair stylist an issue the day of and set the wedding back (worst case scenario) but you never know---

just a thought

I will now pat my self on the back from breaking from the traidion of bridesmaids and maid of honors.

I still have hair drama though... just with myself

Tell her look - whatever u like - besides what im doing - just out of respect for you.

Honestly - your post is troubling in itself - your MOH shouldbe close and not chosen out of family issues - and im just going to be honest with u, if thats how ur mOH was chosen - she will wind up with the same hair as you andj ust not caring

Dont be a pushover.