Small issue. a little long. Sorry

Okay, the other night my fh and I went his parents house for dinner. Everything was fine, but the I realised joe took his handfasting ring off! I confronted him about it, when we were alone, and he told me he didn't want to start problems. We choose not to tell them about the handfasting, because they are VERY religious roman catholics and even thought they wouldn't have come, and completely disapproved, they would have been upset not being invited. I see is point, but I have no trouble confronted them with it. I would have told them flat out, about how they wouldn't approve and would be offended. Or we would have told me it was merely a bethoral ceremony, done just to the two of us. They dont need to know we invited people. We didn't get married, unlike several couples we know who just ran off and eloped and sent their parents a post card. If we are ever going to be completely independ from them, shouldn't we be standing up for our sleves and our beliefs? What when we have kids? I'm not baptisting them, or forcing them into communtion or confermation! (nothing agaist anyonehere who is catholic) Its not my beliefs or his, so why should we force our children into something we wouldn't want to do ourselves. Sorry, just venting girls. Sorry I gave you a book to read.

I'm sorry but whats a handfasting ring?
But to speak on different religions FH and I were both brought up w/ a religious belief that neither one of us follow today. I was brought up a Jehovahs Witness, and he a baptist. Eventhough both of our parents are still strong in their beliefs they respect ours. But we do from time to time get little remarks from both sides about the way we raise our kids. I think you guys should speak up about your belief whether its excepted or not if you truly believe

my advice-
keep the peace before the wedding, and
do your own thing after.

no need to start problems that you know can be avoided at least before the wedding.

afterwards, well , you and him are one unit and should do what you please as far as raising children ,etc. at that point i do think you should do what you want to do.

good luck

it seems like maybe Joe is also a little conflicted. these are his parents, and I am sure he may feel a little bad that he couldn't invite them b/c of fear of what their reaction might be. sometimes confrontation is not the best policy- especially if they would be hurt by it. I know they disapprove and that upsets you, but religion is a funny animal.....

maybe Joe can talk to them about it in private and not at an 'event' like dinner, where sparks could fly.

I am sure it probably hurt you to have him take the ring off, but under the circumstances, it probably save a lot of grief, and the enjoyment of a nice dinner. just make sure he tells them about it at the right time.

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Posted by smurray

I'm sorry but whats a handfasting ring?
But to speak on different religions FH and I were both brought up w/ a religious belief that neither one of us follow today. I was brought up a Jehovahs Witness, and he a baptist. Eventhough both of our parents are still strong in their beliefs they respect ours. But we do from time to time get little remarks from both sides about the way we raise our kids. I think you guys should speak up about your belief whether its excepted or not if you truly believe

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A handfasting ring is suppose to be your wedding ring wore on the right hand, then on your wedding day you put that ring on your left hand. but we didn't have the time to have our rings made up, so I bought two pretty sliver rings. We put them on our left fingers. and then on our wedding day we take them off and put them on our right hand and our wedding ring on our left. The problem with his parents is that they insult our beliefs to our face. They call it stupid, childish, rebelous, disrespectful and so on. I know and understand his point, it just annoys me they do that to us!

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Posted by EmberLynn

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Posted by smurray

I'm sorry but whats a handfasting ring?
But to speak on different religions FH and I were both brought up w/ a religious belief that neither one of us follow today. I was brought up a Jehovahs Witness, and he a baptist. Eventhough both of our parents are still strong in their beliefs they respect ours. But we do from time to time get little remarks from both sides about the way we raise our kids. I think you guys should speak up about your belief whether its excepted or not if you truly believe

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A handfasting ring is suppose to be your wedding ring wore on the right hand, then on your wedding day you put that ring on your left hand. but we didn't have the time to have our rings made up, so I bought two pretty sliver rings. We put them on our left fingers. and then on our wedding day we take them off and put them on our right hand and our wedding ring on our left. The problem with his parents is that they insult our beliefs to our faith. They call it stupid, childish, rebelous, disrespectful and so on. I know and understand his point, it just annoys me they do that to us!

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I'm sorry sweetie My mother for a long time couldn't except my sister, and I not following her belief, but she then got over it as we got older. I'm now 25 w/ a life of my own. In your situation I don't think it will change, so for the most part maybe you should hold off drama until the wedding then continue out in the open as you please. (only for drama's sake) But you should def. talk this over w/ FH. If you both have had enough then you stand your ground, and make it know to them that they should respect your belief as you guys respect theirs.
Good Luck!

Religion is a hard thing to accept since most people believe with all their hearts and mind and some of the time are not very open minded to others beliefs or feelings. I would think to avoid conflict at this time he did the right thing. Parents are parents no matter what and they will give you their two cents even when you don't want it. After the wedding, it's your life and family and you do what you think is best for you and YOUR family as they did with theirs. Good luck!!!!