Sneaking into a wedding???

I see everyone's point, and agree, that coming in before a wedding starts to see how a room is set up or flowers arranged before the cocktail hour is fine. I'd even consider a visitor if the vendor were to ask my permission but without asking, I'd be upset.

What bothers me about this particular vendor is that he is a soloist and usually plays at ceremonies so its not like the room will be dark, loud and jumping with folks dancing. I think I'm going to reconsider altogether. I just don't like the idea that he would even suggest sneaking in.

Thanks to all for your opinions and insight!

Interesting I might be more inclined to go to the ceremony to hear him and sit in the back because I feel like thats less interactive and people wont be wondering who the hell you are.

I was APPALLED when I went to douglaston manor and they had scheduled us to visit just as a brides ceremony was starting! I was SO uncomfortable the whole time - esp when he had us look in on the bridal suite with the bride INSIDE!!! It was so disturbing, embarrassing....we RAN away.

There is a difference between a person taking in on their own account to do that, which I think is in poor taste. But, it is definately a completely different story when a vendor that is being paid good money to entertain the guests invites others to basically 'crash' the party, even if it is just for a minute. That would definately make me think differently about the vendor, and I would start looking for other options. That is rude and distasteful.

If the vendor does a good job they should ask their client if they could be a reference. But, no way should they be soliciting new clients while doing a gig. That is uncool.

Oh man...I have some bad experiences with this one. I asked a wedding band called RIC MANGO (in caps on purpose so others know who they are and what they did) if they have any showcases coming up and the guy said no, but that he did have a wedding he was playing at for a really good friend and he didn't think his friend would mind. I was like 'uh...isn't that crashing a wedding?'. The guy told me that he was going to call the groom and get permission from him and that we could sit at the table where the band sits and that it would be no prob. at all. He even called me back and told me that he asked the groom and the groom said no prob.

Well, on saturday my fiance and I went to the wedding appropriately dressed and when we got there we were told by the band leader that they had more people than they expected and that the band's table was removed. The guy then preceded to tell us that we should stand at the corner of the bar and get a drink. When we said that we didn't drink he said 'no...I really think you should'. We felt like the guy had the nerve to totally lie to us and that he was trying to sneek us in. Well, after being there for about 15 min, the main course was going to be served and guess what...a waitress came up to us and ask us where we were sitting bc the food was going to be served. My fiance and I were like 'uhhh....we're with the band...' Well, although the lady was very nice about it, she asked us to leave. My fiance and I were sooooooooooooooo embarrassed. Had I known that the guy was going to try to sneek us in and lie to us about it, I would have never ever gone. The guy even said that they played continuous music but when I got there, like an hour after the reception started, there was a CD playing and the whole band was standing outside. I made sure to specify what I meant with continuous music for all other bands.

And the band wasn't even good. Thank fully, they didn't call me back to follow up or else I would have really given them an ear ful.

All in all, HORRIBLE EXPERIENCE and I am trying to delete fro my mind the embarrassement that we felt. And remember if you're being sneeked into someone else's wedding, I wouldn't be surprised if that band sneeked someone else into your wedding...would you really want that?

Luckily I have never experienced this, because I would find it a bit unprofessional. I didn't even feel totally comfortable being at RHs when there was weddings going on. Me and FH were joking about it the last time we were at our RH, we had gone back at night after dropping off our payment because they had set up a tasting for us of a specialty Greek dish from the Greek wedding going on that night. It was a little embarrassing sitting in the lobby as all the guests were waiting for CH to open up, and we were in street clothes. I mean, they set us up in the unused bridal suite and we were eventually out of sight, but it was a little uncomfortable having the guests eye us like who the hell are you.

So we were like I wonder if there's going to be some Greek couple next year sitting in the lobby as we're taking pics, waiting to eat our moussaka!

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Posted by MnM182008

Back when my parents got married that is what you did. They band would tell them what wedding they were playing at and they would show up dressed nicely and listen to the band. I thought that was so funny when they told me that, but I guess times have changed. I wouldn't do it personally, I would feel weird.

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I remember years ago when one of friends got married, she was told to do this to see a band. I went with her but even then I was like, OMG. Times have changed a lot...I would've freaked if one of my vendors invited a perspective client to my wedding for their possible gain. Keep in mind, if they are asking you to do this, they can ask another perspective client to crash your wedding as well...it would turn me off enough not to use them....
Just remembered something...when DH (then FH) and I went to see one RH that doesn't do tastings, the BM told us she would sneak us in to taste another wedding's cocktail hour. We were so turned off...needless to say we didn't book our wedding with them