Sniff...Now I think I lost another 2 bridesmaids...that makes 3 in one day :(

hugs213 Posted: Jul 27, 2003 03:05 AM

Sniff...Now I think I lost another 2 bridesmaids...that makes 3 in one day :(

I think I'm about to cry..first I lose my Fi friend as a bridesmaid because she is moving to his side and now I think I lost 2 more today...THis is too much for me to handle.
My mom had a fight with these 2 bridesmaids grandfather(they're 16 and I've known them since they were born so out of respect I am having them in the bridal party even though I don't socialize with them that much but I see them every sunday for lunch with their family) My mom works for their grandfather who is 82. She just takes care of him but since he is a little lonely, we go over for holidays and have sunday pasta every week.
They had a huge fight because he tells her that he doesnt need her to work for about 10 since he is going on vacation(which was a total lie..he just didn't want to dish out any money) My mom found out he lied about going on vacation and quit and vowed to not ever go back there (also he has been telling people that my mom and him are a couple) So know she tells me since we cut contact with them that obviously I shouldn't have them as my bridesmaids anymore since I won't ever see them again.
I don't think I should call them up and say 'Sorry but your not my bridesmaids anymore' I don't think that would be very nice but my mom insists that they probably wouldn't do it because of the grandfather situation. WHat should I do? (SORRY SO LONG)

sophie78 Posted: Jul 27, 2003 03:15 AM

Re: Sniff...Now I think I lost another 2 bridesmaids...that makes 3 in one day :(

I am sorry that you are going through all of this. Maybe you can call them up and explain the situation and say something like, 'So I don't want you to feel uncomfortable due to all of this strife, so I understand if you want to back out.' I would also tell them not to make a decision now and to think about it because their first reaction will probably be to say they still want to be in the party.

gertyrae Posted: Jul 27, 2003 09:25 AM

Re: Sniff...Now I think I lost another 2 bridesmaids...that makes 3 in one day :(

I agree with Andrea, let them make the decision. They may still want to be a part of things, then again maybe not. As far as the Best woman thing with your FI, if I were you I am not sure I would worry about it too much. I know I am going against the crowd here, but she is FI's best friend, and he really wants her to be there and be comfortable. Would it really matter if she were wearing a tux? I am learning as I go through this, that at times it is nothing but stress. My mom is walking me down the aisle and dancing a mother/daughter dance with me, she has gone from a navy dress to a black dress to now a champagne pantsuit (the same color as my dress!) at first I was getting upset, now I am thinking it's my day and I am not worrying about this petty stuff. Let anyone wear what they want, enjoy your day , if they look odd or unusual it's their problem, they made that choice. Thay being said, I wish you lots of luck.

aliciahelene Posted: Jul 27, 2003 09:40 AM

Re: Sniff...Now I think I lost another 2 bridesmaids...that makes 3 in one day :(

oh man.,.thats s****s BAD! Im so sorry! That old man sounds CRAZY..telling everyone your mom and him are a couple! Your poor mom!! The decision is totally up to you!! Do you even want the girls in your bridal party? In ten years when you look back at your pictures will you be glad they are in every single picture with you? Will you even know them then? I would think about that and then sit down and talk with them. They may want to back out, you may WAnt them to back out. It will all work out..just talk to them. CHEER UP!!!

hugs213 Posted: Jul 27, 2003 10:28 AM

Re: Sniff...Now I think I lost another 2 bridesmaids...that makes 3 in one day :(

Thanks everyone...I think I am going to wait it out a little and see what happens. This is a very uncomfortable situation. It's just that I am running out of people to ask to be my bridemaids...it's coming down toasking people that I hardly speak to. As far as my FI friend I am going to leave it up to her if she wants to move to his side and tell her that she can choose any black and white dress that she feels comfortable in. Thanks again everyone.

butterfly20 Posted: Jul 27, 2003 10:30 AM

Re: Sniff...Now I think I lost another 2 bridesmaids...that makes 3 in one day :(

i soooooo sorry, thats alot to be going thought,
i agree with the other girls, call the 2 BM's up and ask them what they want to do..

ChristineC68 Posted: Jul 27, 2003 03:38 PM

Re: Sniff...Now I think I lost another 2 bridesmaids...that makes 3 in one day :(

I would speak to them and see if they still want to be part of your wedding. I wouldn't worry about adding more people to your BP if you don't want to. IMO, I would prefer to have an unbalanced BP then invite people that I am not really close to.

Sorry about all this

HearzBellz Posted: Jul 27, 2003 03:43 PM

Re: Sniff...Now I think I lost another 2 bridesmaids...that makes 3 in one day :(

I agree with gertyrae.... I know it is unusual for a girl to be in the GM side of the party, it does happen. MY Man of Honour was originally a Groomsman b/c people tried to talk us out of it..... however, he has been my best friend (along with my FH0 for 16 years. SO I told them screw it... he's standing up with me!
Some times non-traditional is a good thing.

I am sorry about this mess with the other 2 BM.... but I think if the situation is that severe, they may back out on their own.

good luck