So depressed about something/Updated

you've all heard the one about over-bearing mothers of the bride who try to take over the planning and just doesn't stop butting in.

well, how about a mom who couldn't care less?

This has been really depressing me lately.

My mom just doesn't want anything to do with my wedding. she claims to be excited and happy for me. but since I have started this planning (in March of 2005), she is bored with it. and a few months ago even told me to stop talking about my wedding because it's boring her.

a few days ago my sister from CA was on the phone with her and flat out asked her 'would it kill you to show some interest in her wedding'? my mom's response was 'I am very happy for her and excited, but I just don't care about details. I don't need to hear about her wedding all the time.

My mom has never been the 'mushy' kind, and I was always fine with it. but I am really depressed about how she changes the subject every single time I bring up something wedding related! a few nights ago we were offered an opportunity to interview for 'who's wedding is it anyway'. exciting stuff right? not to her. she seemed interested for about 30 seconds and then started telling me about a show she was in the middle of watching

long story short, we're not interested in being on that show, but that wasn't the point. I guess if that doesn't get her excited, nothing ever will. and I am having a really hard time dealing with that.

I know how u feel, because my mom is the same way. I try to understand that not everyone is into 'weddings'. I'm sure the closer you get to the date, the more excited she'll be. Just give her some time.

Did she have a big wedding?

I almost feelas if she is jealous or not wanting yout o have all the attention

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Posted by DAVALJO2

I know how u feel, because my mom is the same way. I try to understand that not everyone is into 'weddings'. I'm sure the closer you get to the date, the more excited she'll be. Just give her some time.

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well, my wedding is 3 1/2 months away. We've only been engaged since 2/12/05 - a little more than 5 months. it's not like we've been engaged for years and she's had to hear about wedding plans for all that time.

I guess I just have to move on and let it go. But I can't... it's very hard for me.

Thank God my FH is 100% supportive and even he thinks something is wrong with her. So does everyone else around me. it just stinks!

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Posted by Jen2999

Did she have a big wedding?

I almost feelas if she is jealous or not wanting yout o have all the attention

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she didn't have a big wedding at all, she got married in Israel with none of her family around. but then her mom threw her a party when they came back to the US.

I'm not having a big wedding either. we're inviting 68 people and expecting 50-60 to show.

I am so sorry she cannot muster a little more enthusiasm just for you

Is she at least planning on being a part of your wedding day and smiling for the pictures?

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Posted by Dooodles

I am so sorry she cannot muster a little more enthusiasm just for you

Is she at least planning on being a part of your wedding day and smiling for the pictures?

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I'm sure she is. she didn't get a dress yet though. I stopped asking her about it since she snapped at me once.

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Posted by Sep05bride

I am so sorry to hear this! If it makes you feel any better my younger sister is getting married ten months after me. During my first dress fitting all my mother could talk about was what what kind of dress my sister would like. I don't think that they mean to do it. Since then I have had a long talk with my mom and asked that we talk about my sisters wedding once mine is over. She agreed and didn't realize how much it hurt me. Have you tried talking to her about how it hurts that she doesn't seem so into it?

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I've given up on trying. it is what it is... you know? I can't change her, the only thing I can change is how I behave towards her. which I have. I hardly call her and see her maybe once or twice a month. she hasn't said anything about not seeing me as much as she used to. so I guess she's fine with it.

I think my mom is a clone of yours!

My mother is SO NOT INTERESTED in my wedding. I have tried to ask for her input but she just couldn't care less. She wasn't with me when I bought my dress or did any of the other stuff. She hasn't even started looking for a dress. The only time she says anything is if she disagrees with something we (FH and I) chose. OH...WAIT... she did give me a massive list of her people to invite and she actually called me from Naragansett yesterday to see if I could add someone else to the list (needless to say, if she was listening at any time in the last month she would have known that the invites were out already!)

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Posted by coopersmom

I think my mom is a clone of yours!

My mother is SO NOT INTERESTED in my wedding. I have tried to ask for her input but she just couldn't care less. She wasn't with me when I bought my dress or did any of the other stuff. She hasn't even started looking for a dress. The only time she says anything is if she disagrees with something we (FH and I) chose. OH...WAIT... she did give me a massive list of her people to invite and she actually called me from Naragansett yesterday to see if I could add someone else to the list (needless to say, if she was listening at any time in the last month she would have known that the invites were out already!)

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yea, our moms do sound like clones. she wasn't with me when I went trying on dresses either. but thank goodness my best friend was. my friend has been AWESOME and I don't know what I would do without her! my mom did come see the dress later on though, once I chose one. and bought it for me. so I guess it's not a total wash. I asked her a few weeks ago if she would like to come veil shoppng with me at Barron's and she said 'I guess so'.

My mom was actually upset at first that we were having the wedding in Long Island instead of Boston. At a dinner to celebrate our engagement, I was in tears because she said none of my family would trek to NY for my wedding. She's gotten better about this, but when that was upsetting me, my FH said, 'Your mom may not be excited, but you have plenty of other people that are excited for you. Enjoy the planning with them.' That's what I did. I went dress shopping with my MOH and FMIL and had the best time. There are other people excited for you, and you should enjoy this time with them. Your mom may come around, or she may not (I don't know your mom so I can't say). But, don't let her lack of enthusiasm take away from your excitement. I know it hurts, but I like to think that your family is made up of the people that care about you, regardless of blood relation. If you can't get support from the family you were born into, you can find it in the family that you meet on the way in your life.

Don't worry and don't take it personal. As time gets closer she'll change!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Remember everyone is different. SO she may not be the 'emotional type' but she is excited and she loves you!!!

DT: i am so sorry your mom is being like this and upsetting you. She does care about you and your wedding, it just seemd like she is the type of person who doesnt get excited about things. I know how sad that can make you feel and i really feel for you.
My mom would change the topic and ignore any wedding related thing until it came to the invitations her and I were making and my shower...its her LIFE now....but before then she was putting down all my ideas saying i was wasting money and doing too much for one day...she only went dress shopping with me ONCE and didnt liek the dresses b/c my cousin could get me a cheaper one (which i liked none) but kept putting down EVERYTHING...of course..i ended up finiding one from my cousin but regardless...i know how hurt that makes you feel.... but please dont let it get to you too much


seriously speaking.....are you doing programs and menus??? b/c if you havent done them already..i will do them with you..i still have to do mine!!!!!!

CHEER UP DATE TWIN.....WE ARE ALMOST THERE!!!!!!

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Posted by pinkstar025

DT: i am so sorry your mom is being like this and upsetting you. She does care about you and your wedding, it just seemd like she is the type of person who doesnt get excited about things. I know how sad that can make you feel and i really feel for you.
My mom would change the topic and ignore any wedding related thing until it came to the invitations her and I were making and my shower...its her LIFE now....but before then she was putting down all my ideas saying i was wasting money and doing too much for one day...she only went dress shopping with me ONCE and didnt liek the dresses b/c my cousin could get me a cheaper one (which i liked none) but kept putting down EVERYTHING...of course..i ended up finiding one from my cousin but regardless...i know how hurt that makes you feel.... but please dont let it get to you too much


seriously speaking.....are you doing programs and menus??? b/c if you havent done them already..i will do them with you..i still have to do mine!!!!!!

CHEER UP DATE TWIN.....WE ARE ALMOST THERE!!!!!!

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thanks DT. you are so sweet!

I'm only doing menus, but we already bought the cardstock and will just print them out... but thanks for the offer

I'm sorry!

I realized I wrote a novel, feel free to FM me should you want to vent, ever!

im sorry to hear this! I cant imagine my mother ever acting like that (if she were here) well anytime you want to talk wedding we are all here that is for sure!!!!

well, I had a long talk w/my mom today.

I put my feelings on the table and she apologized.

when I left her house, it was hard saying goodbye. she was clearly very upset

I'm not so sure I should have even said anything. I feel guilty now.

Oh well, at least I got up the courage to say something.

ETA: thank you ladies for your support and kind words