So disappointed!

When I got engaged, I was so happy about the engagement but I was also really looking forward to having my close friends in my bridal party.

The only thing I knew for certain was that I wanted to have a destination bachelorette party. I was so stoked and excited. My bridal party was told me first that it will be shorter than I thought. I come to find out that its not happening b/c my bridal party can't take off of work.

Please don't think i'm a B*tch and don't understand. I totally understand but i'm so disappointed. It was the one thing I was certain I wanted during my wedding planning. I have to listen to my FH and his groomsmen plan theirs and i'm so jealous. I told my bridal party that its fine, but its going to take me a long time to get over this. I don't know why it mattered to me so much, but it does. I wanted to have a fun filled weekend with my close friends at the beach. I know i'll get over this but it sure put a huge dent in my wedding bliss.

Thanks for listening!

I know it can be disappointing when you look forward to something so much. What about going to AC or foxwoods or the hamptons for the weekend? This way people don't have to take off from work (or most people won't have to) but you can still get away.

Hope you can play an amazing time!!

I would like to point something out to all of us.....I have been hearing people talk about sadness about bachorlette parties and you have every right to be sad...but!!!! On the other side, I have many people in life whom I would be honored to celebrate my bacholrette party with whom for one reaason or another arent in my wedding (partly because I have 10 bms as it is)....we form different friendships in life and some friends are just perfect for going out with....I think it is perfectly acceptable to celebrate your bachlorette party with girls whom aren't on your wedding or maybe girls from here could all do it together!!!!!! But either way you and all of us deserve to enjoy the last horah!!!!

PS Every bachlorette party I ever went to had tons of people there and I am sure there are a lot of girls that would honored to go away with you!!!

That stinks... I would be very upset and disappointed as well!!! I want to go away for my bachelorette party too! I think your BMs need to realize that it's YOUR special day and it should be all about you... they need to make some sacrifices, that's the whole point of being a BM. Maybe you guys can go away on an extended weekend (Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, etc.) so no one has to miss work. So sorry!

---

Posted by KRISTIND

I would like to point something out to all of us.....I have been hearing people talk about sadness about bachorlette parties and you have every right to be sad...but!!!! On the other side, I have many people in life whom I would be honored to celebrate my bacholrette party with whom for one reaason or another arent in my wedding (partly because I have 10 bms as it is)....we form different friendships in life and some friends are just perfect for going out with....I think it is perfectly acceptable to celebrate your bachlorette party with girls whom aren't on your wedding or maybe girls from here could all do it together!!!!!! But either way you and all of us deserve to enjoy the last horah!!!!

PS Every bachlorette party I ever went to had tons of people there and I am sure there are a lot of girls that would honored to go away with you!!!

---

Well said... and oh so true. Don't be down about it. You can get another group together for the bach party. Just do a 2 night back girls wknd close by. Maybe to AC or Rhode Island..quick flight to FL or Myrtle Beach maybe? Or boston....another party town. You can drive or fly there...cheap and have a blast.

HTH

---

Posted by MarjorieFrank

That stinks... I would be very upset and disappointed as well!!! I want to go away for my bachelorette party too! I think your BMs need to realize that it's YOUR special day and it should be all about you... they need to make some sacrifices, that's the whole point of being a BM. Maybe you guys can go away on an extended weekend (Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, etc.) so no one has to miss work. So sorry!

---

Honestly, your BMs are already acknowledging your special day by being there for your wedding.. but the destination bachelorette party kinda makes a wedding more than one special day. More like your week. Not everyone can even afford to take trips to Vegas or Cancun (aside from the time off from work). One can't expect the entire bridal party to be willing to drop everything and go away.. and if some of them are married or have children, forget it.

I think sometimes people assume they know how much a friend can afford because they know roughly how much $$ they make. But we really don't know how much someone's mortage is or how much debt they are in.

My advice, if a few of your BMs were looking forward to this (and the majority wasn't) maybe take a trip with those and then plan something smaller in NY with everyone. Or ask around to some of your friends who aren't in the BP. Or like others have suggested, take a weekend trip somewhere. If you normally hang out in LI, maybe consider renting hotel rooms in the city for a night or two.

---

Posted by Marianne13

---

Posted by MarjorieFrank

That stinks... I would be very upset and disappointed as well!!! I want to go away for my bachelorette party too! I think your BMs need to realize that it's YOUR special day and it should be all about you... they need to make some sacrifices, that's the whole point of being a BM. Maybe you guys can go away on an extended weekend (Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, etc.) so no one has to miss work. So sorry!

---

Honestly, your BMs are already acknowledging your special day by being there for your wedding.. but the destination bachelorette party kinda makes a wedding more than one special day. More like your week. No offense but not everyone can even afford to take trips to Vegas or Cancun (aside from the time off from work). You can't expect the entire bridal party to be willing to drop everything and go away.. and if some of them are married or have children, forget it.

My advice, if a few of your BMs were looking forward to this (and the majority wasn't) maybe take a trip with those and then plan something smaller in NY with everyone.

---

I totally agree. While I would love a destination bachelorette party, I am quite aware that many of my friends and family arent even taking vacations with their husbands and kids these days b/c of the economy. My wedding is important to me....but doesnt mean my friends love me any less b/c they arent willing or able to spend a small fortune on a bachelorette.

---

Posted by Marianne13

---

Posted by MarjorieFrank

That stinks... I would be very upset and disappointed as well!!! I want to go away for my bachelorette party too! I think your BMs need to realize that it's YOUR special day and it should be all about you... they need to make some sacrifices, that's the whole point of being a BM. Maybe you guys can go away on an extended weekend (Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, etc.) so no one has to miss work. So sorry!

---

Honestly, your BMs are already acknowledging your special day by being there for your wedding.. but the destination bachelorette party kinda makes a wedding more than one special day. More like your week. Not everyone can even afford to take trips to Vegas or Cancun (aside from the time off from work). One can't expect the entire bridal party to be willing to drop everything and go away.. and if some of them are married or have children, forget it.

I think sometimes people assume they know how much a friend can afford because they know roughly how much $$ they make. But we really don't know how much someone's mortage is or how much debt they are in.

My advice, if a few of your BMs were looking forward to this (and the majority wasn't) maybe take a trip with those and then plan something smaller in NY with everyone. Or ask around to some of your friends who aren't in the BP. Or like others have suggested, take a weekend trip somewhere. If you normally hang out in LI, maybe consider renting hotel rooms in the city for a night or two.

---

OoO I didn't know destination bachelorette party meant out of the country or across the country... I thought it meant AC or something lol. I think if you find something reasonable for a 2 or 3 day weekend, then your BMs should go along with it. I agree with what previous posts say, you can go with any girls that are fun and that you like, and you'll have an awesome time!

I can understand what you are going through, the idea of something so sure happening and then poof its gone.

I dont want a dest. BP for the main reason that most people say yes def at 1st and then its almost 90% sure its a no.Mainly bc look at the economy most people cant even afford to go to weddings imagine going away?

What about AC or Hamptons or even NYC get a hotel room and paint the town red!

Whatever you do and they plan u will have the time of your life.

Thanks everyone for listening to me whine.

I know everyone is tight with money, just ***** bc one of my BM that can't go just went away for a BP for another friend about 2 months ago but of course she can't do it when its my turn. That part *****.

I don't really have a choice but to suck it up and deal. I don't know what they are planning now but I'll try to enjoy it from this point on.

I will attempt to put together a trip on my own with a few girls.

Bachellorette parties are just for the bridal party....usually all your female friends who are going to the wedding are invited. I know the MOH usually plans it, but other girls can definitely go. I didn't have a bridal party, my 13 year old daughter was my MOH & one of my friends took it upon her self to email all my girlfriends ( she asked me for a list of all my female friends who were being invited to the wedding) and get something together.. we didn't go away, but we had a GREAT night out in the city... one of my friends even flew from Phoenix to be there!!

So even thoough you can't go away, maybe have your BP extend the invite for a fun night out to all your girlfriends who will be invited to the wedding...that way you can have fun w/ ALL your friends!!

---

Posted by Marianne13

---

Posted by MarjorieFrank

That stinks... I would be very upset and disappointed as well!!! I want to go away for my bachelorette party too! I think your BMs need to realize that it's YOUR special day and it should be all about you... they need to make some sacrifices, that's the whole point of being a BM. Maybe you guys can go away on an extended weekend (Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, etc.) so no one has to miss work. So sorry!

---

Honestly, your BMs are already acknowledging your special day by being there for your wedding.. but the destination bachelorette party kinda makes a wedding more than one special day. More like your week. Not everyone can even afford to take trips to Vegas or Cancun (aside from the time off from work). One can't expect the entire bridal party to be willing to drop everything and go away.. and if some of them are married or have children, forget it.

I think sometimes people assume they know how much a friend can afford because they know roughly how much $$ they make. But we really don't know how much someone's mortage is or how much debt they are in.

My advice, if a few of your BMs were looking forward to this (and the majority wasn't) maybe take a trip with those and then plan something smaller in NY with everyone. Or ask around to some of your friends who aren't in the BP. Or like others have suggested, take a weekend trip somewhere. If you normally hang out in LI, maybe consider renting hotel rooms in the city for a night or two.

---

ITA
Plus, these girls are your closest friends, you chose them for a reason- one I'm assuming is that you have fun with them. So you'll have a great time wherever you go!

Can you and your girls do something smaller like a movie set limousine tour in the city. You take a limo around NYC and they take you to famous spots from famous movies and tv shows....like bars from sex and the city and restaurants that were in famous movies....my sister told me about it and it seemed fun and then after that you guys can go out to a club or something and go home... I hope you feel better!

come on!!!!!
you're dissapointed?!?!?
helloooooooooooo you're getting married!!!!
thats whats important.
not the parties leading up to it!!!!!!

jmo

I'm sorry. It's hard when you've got your heart set on something, and then you realize that you can't have it. I mean, for YEARS I had my heart set on leaving the country for my honeymoon (Italy, Greece, or Rome). But when we got married, it just wasn't an option for us. If we wanted to have a bigger wedding with the honeymoon of my dreams, we would have had to wait a couple more years. But it just wasn't worth it. Because we were in a long distance relationship, it was just painful to be apart and we wanted to be married and TOGETHER (I didn't wanna live with him before the wedding).

I decided that HE was more important than the trip. Even though I had the wedding of my dreams, sometimes I still think about how i kind of missed out on my big getaway (esp when I see the girls on here talking about theirs). But I don't REGRET anything. My situation was just different than a lot of others, and it was beyond worth it to marry him NOW rather than waiting - - with the 'honeymoon' still hopefully to come someday

So that's my only advice - try to look at the bigger picture and accept that we don't always get what we hoped for. You're still marrying the man of your dreams and maybe that girl's getaway can happen later on.

So sorry that you're disappointed I'm sure that you'll still have an amazing time with your girls no matter what you guys do.