so embarrassed...please help...

I am so embarrassed right now, and I don't know what to do.

FILs gave me a list of people to invite to the wedding. There was an elderly couple on the list, and I knew that the wife is very sickly and couldn't make it...however, other individuals in her family were invited...so I sent her and her husband an invitations out of courtesy.

I received a message back on the RSVP card 'Mr. (husband's name) passed away 5 1/2 years ago. Isabel has been bed-ridden for the last 2 years.'

Like I said, I knew about the wife...but I am horrified about the husband. I feel so guilty and ashamed...I want to cry.

What should I do? Send the daughter a hand written note apologizing? I'm really upset about this.

Oh geez... what did FIL's say about the response?

I'm sorry Jen, that's terrible I'd probably send a little note telling her it was a mistake and was in no way meant out of disrepspect.

Is SHE invited to the wedding?

I would immediately call your FILs and yes I would send a note to the daughter apologizing. Sorry sweetie!

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Posted by GR2010

That's on your FILs. I would send a hand written note explaining that the list was given to you my FILs and apologize like you said. I would then call FILs and ask them W T F.

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Exactly this

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Posted by Lsorrent

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Posted by GR2010

That's on your FILs. I would send a hand written note explaining that the list was given to you my FILs and apologize like you said. I would then call FILs and ask them W T F.

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Exactly this

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I agree!

Awww.. I can imagine how u feel!

I would definately send a letter appologizing and explaining the situation. I'm sure they will then understand.

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Posted by Lsorrent

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Posted by GR2010

That's on your FILs. I would send a hand written note explaining that the list was given to you my FILs and apologize like you said. I would then call FILs and ask them W T F.

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Exactly this

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I agree also Jen, send the daughter a note. Maybe after the wedding, someone can bring her something, cake, something thoughtful.

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Posted by stacey516

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Posted by Lsorrent

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Posted by GR2010

That's on your FILs. I would send a hand written note explaining that the list was given to you my FILs and apologize like you said. I would then call FILs and ask them W T F.

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Exactly this

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I agree!

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Seriously!!! What's wrong with FILs?!

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Posted by GR2010

That's on your FILs. I would send a hand written note explaining that the list was given to you my FILs and apologize like you said. I would then call FILs and ask them W T F.

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ditto. its embarrassing but not your fault. most people know that you get lists of addresses from both sets of parents and if they didn't know, its not your ultimate responsibility to know all specifics. i think a hand written note is perfect. i really wouldn't worry too much. send some nice flowers (esp if bed ridden) if you want to do a little extra.

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Posted by Lsorrent

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Posted by GR2010

That's on your FILs. I would send a hand written note explaining that the list was given to you my FILs and apologize like you said. I would then call FILs and ask them W T F.

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Exactly this

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ITA. What a horrible situation to put you in

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Posted by Lil OC

Omg how awful. Totally not your fault though. I would send a note to the daughter and bring this up to your in-laws. I mean really, W T F?! I wouldnt send a cake or flowers though, JMO. That's a little much.

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I agree, I think the cake or flowers is a bit much. These are your FIL people. I think they should be the ones to send something if they want to but a note explaining why you sent the invite is a must.

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Posted by stacey516

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Posted by Lsorrent

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Posted by GR2010

That's on your FILs. I would send a hand written note explaining that the list was given to you my FILs and apologize like you said. I would then call FILs and ask them W T F.

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Exactly this

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I agree!

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absolutely... i totally understand the way youre feeling... but i would be more angry or upset with FIL's because thats were you got your info...

something similar happened to us.. we sent invites to a bunch of shauns fam and the cousin that I got the info from left a name off the list.. ON PURPOSE!

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Posted by stacey516

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Posted by Lsorrent

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Posted by GR2010

That's on your FILs. I would send a hand written note explaining that the list was given to you my FILs and apologize like you said. I would then call FILs and ask them W T F.

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Exactly this

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I agree!

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I also agree

that's horrible but there is no way you could have known definitely tell FIL's and write them a note like the other girls have said.

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Posted by stacey516

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Posted by Lsorrent

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Posted by GR2010

That's on your FILs. I would send a hand written note explaining that the list was given to you my FILs and apologize like you said. I would then call FILs and ask them W T F.

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Exactly this

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I agree!

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ITA!!!!!

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Posted by allornil

Didnt FH know he was dead? I think it's unfortunate but I don't think it's all the IL's fault since he's related to them. I'd send a note from the 2 of you apologizing.

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FH has never seen the guest list. His parents gave it to me....I entered the information into my spreadsheet and addressed the envelopes.