so frustrated... vent

fh and i keep getting back rsvps from people who keep adding guests when we didn't invite them with guests. the first few were ok...but now today we got back a family of 5 that we have never even met before, plus numerous other people who have added guests when we didn't include 'and guest' ... we're starting to get nervous that everyone is going to do this and we're going to have a major problem with the number of tables and people. especially because his dad warned us that some distant family member has like 7 kids and always brings them to events like this. and there's nothing we can even do... ugh.

You can polietly tell them it is not in your budget to include guests which is why you didn't add them in the first place.

I think if it is done nicely and polietly people shouldn't get TOOO angry.... I anticipate the same btw, very few people are being invited with a guest to mine.

wow...why don't ppl realize that if the names aren't on the invite then they dont get to come

People are friggin' NERVY.

I hope you can find a way to relay the info to them that they can't bring all these extras. Is your RVSP card worded in an open-ended kinda way?

we don't wanna tell anyone NOT to bring a guest now that they've already added them... i mean we're still waiting on a bunch so we're gonna see how it all turns out but fh is getting me nervous. we addressed certain ones to 'mr. and mrs. so and so' and some to 'the ___ family' so it would mean to bring the children.' we didn't anticipate the people we didn't even know to bring their kids. and we added 'and guest' on the invites for people with guests, but people are adding them anyway... i'm just a little surprised because whenever i've gone to weddings, i've never just added a guest like that, and my parents have gone to plenty of weddings without me and my sister.

i mean on our rsvp's we have '___ of persons attending' but we didn't think people would just add anyone they wanted!! its sad but im actually hoping for no's so it balances out a little better.

IMO....For the & Family, that usually means that the kids are invited. When its addressed mr & mrs... that means just the mr and mrs...

if there is no and guest you dont just add someone... i personally wouldnt wait to mention anything to the people that added uninvited guests....

---

Posted by AngnShaun

IMO....For the & Family, that usually means that the kids are invited. When its addressed mr & mrs... that means just the mr and mrs...

if there is no and guest you dont just add someone... i personally wouldnt wait to mention anything to the people that added uninvited guests....

---

yeah that's what we had. for the ones we expected the children, we had 'and family' and the ones where we were only inviting the parents, we said 'mr. and mrs.' i was really careful with that because half the people on fh's side have very big families and we don't know ANY of them.

fh and i talked a little about this to his sister yesterday because one of her best friends added a guest and we were asking who and she said her daughter... so its like, we feel bad just telling this woman she can't bring her daughter.

---

Posted by scatteredx12

---

Posted by AngnShaun

IMO....For the & Family, that usually means that the kids are invited. When its addressed mr & mrs... that means just the mr and mrs...

if there is no and guest you dont just add someone... i personally wouldnt wait to mention anything to the people that added uninvited guests....

---

yeah that's what we had. for the ones we expected the children, we had 'and family' and the ones where we were only inviting the parents, we said 'mr. and mrs.' i was really careful with that because half the people on fh's side have very big families and we don't know ANY of them.

fh and i talked a little about this to his sister yesterday because one of her best friends added a guest and we were asking who and she said her daughter... so its like, we feel bad just telling this woman she can't bring her daughter.

---

ITA, with Ang..... and I wouldn't feel bad about her daughter.. I mean she wasn't invited with them. Plus I think if you allow some to break the 'rules' you have to allow them all.

---

Posted by soontobecruz

---

Posted by scatteredx12

---

Posted by AngnShaun

IMO....For the & Family, that usually means that the kids are invited. When its addressed mr & mrs... that means just the mr and mrs...

if there is no and guest you dont just add someone... i personally wouldnt wait to mention anything to the people that added uninvited guests....

---

yeah that's what we had. for the ones we expected the children, we had 'and family' and the ones where we were only inviting the parents, we said 'mr. and mrs.' i was really careful with that because half the people on fh's side have very big families and we don't know ANY of them.

fh and i talked a little about this to his sister yesterday because one of her best friends added a guest and we were asking who and she said her daughter... so its like, we feel bad just telling this woman she can't bring her daughter.

---

ITA, with Ang..... and I wouldn't feel bad about her daughter.. I mean she wasn't invited with them. Plus I think if you allow some to break the 'rules' you have to allow them all.

---

EXACTLY!!!!

---

Posted by AngnShaun

I dont understand the balls people have to do this...

---

Seriously - I would never blindly add people to the list without checking first.

are you OK if more people come?? Or does your room have a people count max? B/c that could be a good way to get out of some of these people...

And DO NOT feel bad about telling someone they can't bring their child - you didn't invite the child for a REASON!

ughhh i totally agree with all of you... i just hate being in this situation!! i hate that these people put us in this situation because i would never do this to someone! the biggest issue is the fact that fmil will flip out if we were to tell any of her guests that they can't bring someone (even IF they weren't invited with them!) and it seriously has been ALL of their guests that have done this!! NOT ONE OF MINE!!!

so at this point, i kinda just hope that we get a bunch of no's and all these extra guests don't make a difference... i just can't believe people would do this..

stories like this are making me lean towards to RSVP card worded as '## seats have been reserved in your name.'

honestly, i dont care if it looks a tad tacky. i dont wanna deal with this

and im sorry you need to deal with this!

maybe have your folks/fam start spreading the word about 'no extra guests'?

---

Posted by soontobecruz

Is FMIL paying for them? That would settle it right there for me

---

true...