so he spoke to his parents..

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Posted by Marie0157

religion is carried by females, that my job was done no matter WHO I married???????????

And what IF the guy you fell in love with didn t agree with that.

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In both Catholicism and Judaism, whatever the mother is, the baby is.

this is according to the religious law. of course, you and your S/O have to discuss how you will raise the kids. it's not set in stone.

I am sorry about your situation but I have to agree with some of the posts. In the Jewish faith the wife carries on the religion. His parents are just having a hard time dealing with the fact that their grandchildren will not be Jewish. It's normal and I saw it numerous times. I am not Jewish but I attended Yeshiva University and this came up ALL THE TIME. 70% of the Jewish women I went to school with were married or engaged to a Jewish man by graduation day.

My good friend (Catholic) just married a Jewish man in August. To honor his mother we all did the Horrah (sp) and some other traditional things to honor his mom. His parents LOVE her and accept that she is Catholic and they know that their grandchildren will be raised Catholic.

It seems that could be the issue with his parents When you converted they thought they would have Jewish grandchildren and not that you have decided you don't want to be Jewish, I think they are going to take it out on their son until he dumps you - or until he picks you over his family.

It doesn't really seem like this will end well

I am very sorry you are going through this. As someone else said, I think it's very admirable and honorable of you that you did convert and 'try out' Judaism. That shows a lot of sacrifice and commitment on your part. What Goldi was saying is true, Jewish families, esp of a certain generation, take it very hard when their sons marry out of the religion. I am Jewish and my husband is not. I think my parents felt a litlle better because as it was said, the religion is passed through the mother. Also, I knew that I could not have been able to marry someone who was not ok with our children being raised Jewish.
Again, I am so so sorry that you are going through this. I hope, in time, that his parents will lighten up and 'see the light.' It always makes me so upset when I hear about people pretty much disowning their children over marriage. I think that all it would take is a five minute conversation with parents who had really lost a child to help others come to their senses!!
Good luck and hang in there!

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Posted by mrswask

I am very sorry you are going through this. As someone else said, I think it's very admirable and honorable of you that you did convert and 'try out' Judaism. That shows a lot of sacrifice and commitment on your part. What Goldi was saying is true, Jewish families, esp of a certain generation, take it very hard when their sons marry out of the religion. I am Jewish and my husband is not. I think my parents felt a litlle better because as it was said, the religion is passed through the mother. Also, I knew that I could not have been able to marry someone who was not ok with our children being raised Jewish.
Again, I am so so sorry that you are going through this. I hope, in time, that his parents will lighten up and 'see the light.' It always makes me so upset when I hear about people pretty much disowning their children over marriage. I think that all it would take is a five minute conversation with parents who had really lost a child to help others come to their senses!!
Good luck and hang in there!

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VERY WELL SAID!

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Posted by dleeny

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Posted by mrswask

I am very sorry you are going through this. As someone else said, I think it's very admirable and honorable of you that you did convert and 'try out' Judaism. That shows a lot of sacrifice and commitment on your part. What Goldi was saying is true, Jewish families, esp of a certain generation, take it very hard when their sons marry out of the religion. I am Jewish and my husband is not. I think my parents felt a litlle better because as it was said, the religion is passed through the mother. Also, I knew that I could not have been able to marry someone who was not ok with our children being raised Jewish.
Again, I am so so sorry that you are going through this. I hope, in time, that his parents will lighten up and 'see the light.' It always makes me so upset when I hear about people pretty much disowning their children over marriage. I think that all it would take is a five minute conversation with parents who had really lost a child to help others come to their senses!!
Good luck and hang in there!

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VERY WELL SAID!

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Todah Rabah!

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Posted by mrswask

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Posted by dleeny

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Posted by mrswask

I am very sorry you are going through this. As someone else said, I think it's very admirable and honorable of you that you did convert and 'try out' Judaism. That shows a lot of sacrifice and commitment on your part. What Goldi was saying is true, Jewish families, esp of a certain generation, take it very hard when their sons marry out of the religion. I am Jewish and my husband is not. I think my parents felt a litlle better because as it was said, the religion is passed through the mother. Also, I knew that I could not have been able to marry someone who was not ok with our children being raised Jewish.
Again, I am so so sorry that you are going through this. I hope, in time, that his parents will lighten up and 'see the light.' It always makes me so upset when I hear about people pretty much disowning their children over marriage. I think that all it would take is a five minute conversation with parents who had really lost a child to help others come to their senses!!
Good luck and hang in there!

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VERY WELL SAID!

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Todah Rabah!

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you're welcome

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Posted by dleeny

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Posted by mrswask

I am very sorry you are going through this. As someone else said, I think it's very admirable and honorable of you that you did convert and 'try out' Judaism. That shows a lot of sacrifice and commitment on your part. What Goldi was saying is true, Jewish families, esp of a certain generation, take it very hard when their sons marry out of the religion. I am Jewish and my husband is not. I think my parents felt a litlle better because as it was said, the religion is passed through the mother. Also, I knew that I could not have been able to marry someone who was not ok with our children being raised Jewish.
Again, I am so so sorry that you are going through this. I hope, in time, that his parents will lighten up and 'see the light.' It always makes me so upset when I hear about people pretty much disowning their children over marriage. I think that all it would take is a five minute conversation with parents who had really lost a child to help others come to their senses!!
Good luck and hang in there!

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VERY WELL SAID!

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DITTO. WELL SAID!

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Posted by EmberLynn

I think he needs to move out. Either with you, alone or with friends. Your inlaws are the type that always have to be right and to always be the victoms. I suggest when you two marry, move as far away from the as possible!

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I agree!

Try to work things out as best as you can with his family. Bottom line, it is you and your FH that need to make the ultimate decision. Whatever that turns out to be. You would think that in today's day and age people would be accepting of different religions and cultures. It is really sad that it is not the case in your situation.

I think you need to take time and sit back (yourself) and really think about what you want for your future and marriage. Reality is if there are problems now there will always be. They are from the old school, their beliefs will always be. No one is going to change them including their son. If they can't be happy for their son now when will they be????

So, you need to think about your relationship and what is right FOR YOU in the future. YOU only live once, don't cheat yourself from having a happy life or marriage.

This is only my opinion, I wish you all the luck in the world with this.

Wow. i am so sorry for what you are going through. good luck

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Posted by mrswask

I am very sorry you are going through this. As someone else said, I think it's very admirable and honorable of you that you did convert and 'try out' Judaism. That shows a lot of sacrifice and commitment on your part. What Goldi was saying is true, Jewish families, esp of a certain generation, take it very hard when their sons marry out of the religion. I am Jewish and my husband is not. I think my parents felt a litlle better because as it was said, the religion is passed through the mother. Also, I knew that I could not have been able to marry someone who was not ok with our children being raised Jewish.
Again, I am so so sorry that you are going through this. I hope, in time, that his parents will lighten up and 'see the light.' It always makes me so upset when I hear about people pretty much disowning their children over marriage. I think that all it would take is a five minute conversation with parents who had really lost a child to help others come to their senses!!
Good luck and hang in there!

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Well Said, Michal - I had no idea how to put it in words, but you did it beautifully.

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Posted by dleeny

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Posted by Marie0157

religion is carried by females, that my job was done no matter WHO I married???????????

And what IF the guy you fell in love with didn t agree with that.

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In both Catholicism and Judaism, whatever the mother is, the baby is.

this is according to the religious law. of course, you and your S/O have to discuss how you will raise the kids. it's not set in stone.

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Yes, my mother's mother is jewish (hungarian), her father is italian but my mother converted to Catholsism (sp) before she got married to my Irish/Italian dad. So I was baptised and confirmed and raised catholic. If you ask my grandma though, I am jewish

I'm so sorry that you are having such a hard time. You'll get through it. You just have to make an areement not to argue over what his parents say or do.

That can't be easy for you.

I don't get that. His parents should be ashamed of themselves for treating you that way, especially after you tried to convert. It wasn't in your heart. Wouldn't that make you more of a liar if you lived something you didn't believe?

The fact that you even tried should be proof enough to those people about how much you love their son. They're thinking entirely too much about their own feelings and not considering their son's.