so he spoke to his parents..

nenna023 Posted: Sep 12, 2005 08:30 AM

so he spoke to his parents..

and they basically hate me. They didnt disown him yet and did not kick him out of the house ( he lives in a house that they own) instead they said that they dont trust me b/c im a liar, i guess thats b/c i converted and didnt like it so after a year i went back, then proceded to say that they never ever want to see me so he can not bring me to his parents house and they said that i could not be at his house that he is living in now. So basically they wont go to the wedding and they will be mean to him and always use me as the excuse the smoke is just blowing out of my ears!!!

Happybride2005 Posted: Sep 12, 2005 08:32 AM

Re: so he spoke to his parents..

do u think if everyone sits down to talk things could be solved

nenna023 Posted: Sep 12, 2005 08:34 AM

Re: so he spoke to his parents..

no it wouldnt work once they set to something they never change. It hurts me co much but i can live with it. I just hope it doesnt cause more problems with jeff b/c they are going to use me to get him mad all the time

Happybride2005 Posted: Sep 12, 2005 08:49 AM

Re: so he spoke to his parents..

how does he feel about all this. i hope it gets better

salsbride06 Posted: Sep 12, 2005 09:25 AM

Re: so he spoke to his parents..

THATS CRAZY...I HOPE THAT THINGS CAN WORK OUT.

EmberLynn Posted: Sep 12, 2005 09:37 AM

Re: so he spoke to his parents..

I think he needs to move out. Either with you, alone or with friends. Your inlaws are the type that always have to be right and to always be the victoms. I suggest when you two marry, move as far away from the as possible!

smurray Posted: Sep 12, 2005 12:15 PM

Re: so he spoke to his parents..

Sometimes I think people can be sooo ignorant, especially when their supposed to be adults. FH and I have been together since I was 17, and I'm now 25, and him 28, we have two children together, and there were times when his mother, and I would bump heads, b/c she can't mind her business....My family has always lived by the saying'If u like it I love it',and thats that! Why can't people, (family, and parents) just except the fact that ur happy, and be happy for u. It would cause alot less stress, and fights, not to mention, missed out 'family' time together.
Good Luck Sweety, and try to hang in there

kaklesmay Posted: Sep 12, 2005 01:26 PM

Re: so he spoke to his parents..

How rude that they think they can control whether your at the house he's living in just becuz they own it. You guys gotta get outta there.

i102bcute Posted: Sep 12, 2005 01:42 PM

Re: so he spoke to his parents..

I'm sorry

AlliNMatt06 Posted: Sep 12, 2005 01:50 PM

Re: so he spoke to his parents..

He needs to get out of his parents house,as soon as possible. You guys could move in together somewhere else.

You FH should stop talking to them, see how they like it.

His parents are being ridiculous, I am very sorry you have to go through that.

lulugrrl Posted: Sep 12, 2005 01:55 PM

Re: so he spoke to his parents..

I am sorry, this must be so difficult. The fact that you TRIED their religion is honorable, I am sorry they can't see that. Ignorant is the right word.

PegaLega Posted: Sep 12, 2005 02:07 PM

Re: so he spoke to his parents..

That *****!! Its amazing how ignorant people can be! I think you and FH need to talk and see what your plans are...and find some sort of way to deal with his parents
Good Luck-I hope that you are able to move on together and be happy!

lullabella Posted: Sep 12, 2005 02:12 PM

Re: so he spoke to his parents..

Wow ~ So sorry. If I were you I would really think long and hard about spending the rest of my life with someone who's family disowned them because of me This is not the easiest foundation to build a life on.

Also, If you FI isn't prepared to stick up for you now, why will he when you get married? I think he should be the one 'disowning' them for the way they are acting.

SummerBride06 Posted: Sep 12, 2005 07:33 PM

Re: so he spoke to his parents..

if he doesn't stand up to his parents, he never will.

if they give you a hard time now, they will always give you a hard time if he won't do anything about it.

i'm so sorry you're dealing with this, but really think about your future.

i was dealing with a minor version of you, but luckily FH stood up for me and it's all in the past now. if he hadn't done anything, i don't know that things would be alright now.

YOU are his number one now, not his parents and he needs to recognize this. you don't need his parents, but you do need him

TimDogsGal Posted: Sep 12, 2005 08:08 PM

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I'm so sorry this is happening to you.....

littlebookworm4 Posted: Sep 12, 2005 08:36 PM

Re: so he spoke to his parents..

what H E L L is the matter with people???!! This is their SON for god sakes!!!!!!! Why can't they forget THEMSELVES and let HIM be happy the way he wants to be??? I just can't deal with the audacity of some people. It's not their life it's his and yours. And in this time and age it's even more bigoted and hateful to me. I'm so sorry about this.

Goldi1021 Posted: Sep 12, 2005 08:46 PM

Re: so he spoke to his parents..

I think it would be bigoted and hateful if they spewed religious epithets at you. HOWEVER, it is very different for the parents of a male Jewish child to acccept the fact that their son's marriage won't perpetuate their faith. For them, it isn't as cut and dry as it may be for some of us. Love, to them, may not be enough. My parents never had that concern with ME because they knew that because religion is carried by females, that my job was done no matter WHO I married. When my brother married a Catholic woman, it wasn't as easy for them but they came to terms with it and accepted it as long as my brother was happy.

I am by no means defending the actions of your in FILs. They have obviously said and done some very hurtful things to you and in regard to your relationship with your FH, but to some people in the Jewish community, it is hard to accept when a man marries out of the faith. It isn't always HATE based. It isn't that simple. Sometimes there are deep rooted allegiances and love for the faith that people of a certain generation are very tied to. I could go on about this for hours but it would serve no purpose and wouldnt make anyone feel better. It is an old school way of thinking.

Marie0157 Posted: Sep 12, 2005 09:08 PM

Re: so he spoke to his parents..

religion is carried by females, that my job was done no matter WHO I married???????????

And what IF the guy you fell in love with didn t agree with that.

Goldi1021 Posted: Sep 12, 2005 09:12 PM

Re: so he spoke to his parents..

Posted by Marie0157

religion is carried by females, that my job was done no matter WHO I married???????????

And what IF the guy you fell in love with didn t agree with that.

Honestly? Those are things I discuss pretty early on in a relationship. Always have. If the man I was DATING couldn't accept that early on, I couldn't and wouldnt perpetuate the relationship. It is COMPLETELY my choice.